Wednesday, June 23, 2021

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Something Stinks…

Have you ever wondered what kind of fragrances the Divas would produce? Nah, me neither, but WWE.com did a random but sort of interesting piece on hypothetical fragrances of the Superstars and Divas – you know, because the world doesn’t have enough tacky celebrity fragrances. Above are the “bottles” of each Diva’s perfume. Care to guess which belongs to whom? Read more to find out..

Ah, just makes you want to run to WalMart’s beauty department and buy Paris Hilton’s cotton candy perfume, doesn’t it? It reminds me of when I was 7 and tried to make perfume out of water and oranges. Anywho, enough of my failed business ventures.. Below are the Divas’ description of their possible fragrances and my thoughts on each (you know, since you’re absolutely dying to know).

Maria:Seven, like seven sins.” – Eloquent in its brevity.

Kelly Kelly:Barbie Doll. It would come in a Barbie Doll bottle and it would be very pink and very floral.” – I guess we know who’s been buying Paris’s perfumes..

Katie Lea: “I think I would name is Corruption. My beauty and my sensuality will corrupt you to the core, to the point where there’s no return.” – Sounds like the title and tagline to a bad Lifetime movie. Just get back to Will and Grace, Lifetime. I’m not going to watch the chick from Power Rangers get physically abused and overcome the odds, so stop showing those damn commercials.

Mickie James:Believe. I think you should always believe in yourself and trust in those around you. Believe in your friends.” – Is this a perfume or a Miss USA Q&A session? I hate those pseudo-deep fragrance names. It’s so Britney Spears.

Michelle McCool: “First, it would be a real fresh scent. Nothing fruity, nothing real flowery – just fresh and clean. That’s what I like, that’s what I am. It would be cool, clean and fresh, and we would call it Faith, Heart, & Soul.” – Kudos to Michelle for actually figuring in the scent. But points off for the ultra-cheesy name – I hate that her mantra is pretty much the name of a 60s folk band.

Maryse:French Kiss. It will be extremely, extremely sexy and out of control.” – I sincerely hope that was miss-translated from French because that sounds fucking dumb. Sorry, but COME ON.

So, would you actually buy/wear any of these? Personally, I’d go with “no”. I picture them all smelling like AXE body spray.

 

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