Diva Dirt Presents: The Hot Mess Awards 2008

Tomorrow Diva Dirt honours the best of 2008, in our first annual Year-End Awards. But as our loyal readers know, one of the things we do best is poke fun. So we are proud to present our version of the Razzies… the first annual Hot Mess Awards!

Check out all the nominees below. Winners are after the cut.

Worst Diva of the Year
Ashley
Candice
Lena Yada
Maria
Tiffany

Worst Knockout of the Year
Christy Hemme
Karen Angle
Raisha Saeed
Taylor Wilde
Traci Brooks

Worst Match of the Year
Any Katie Lea vs Mickie James match
16 Diva Tag Team Match (Raw, November 3rd)
BunnyMania (WrestleMania)
Any of the incessant pole matches on SmackDown
Christy Hemme vs Velvet Sky (Impact, October 23rd)

Worst Gimmick
Jillian’s singing act that’s been going for two damn years
Katie Lea & Paul Burchill as an incestuous brother and sister
Alicia Fox stars in ‘The Wedding Planner’
Traci Brooks as the so-called ‘Knockout law’
Raisha Saeed’s slighty offensive burkha babe act

Worst Wrestler
Ashley
Candice
Christy Hemme
Maria
Rhaka Khan

The “Dressed in the Dark” Award
All of the TNA Knockouts
Candice
Kelly Kelly
Maria
Mickie James

The “Oh No She Didn’t” Moment Award
Any one of Ashley’s multiple WTF moments
Candice returns… and gets injured again
Christy Hemme tries to become a serious wrestler
Maria somehow manages to get a title shot
Maryse’s theatrical reaction to being slapped by Cherry

The “Bitch Please” Award
Ashley claims to have a sick daughter
Ashley turns out to be a hooker and denies it
Ashley requests her release from WWE and thinks we care
The growing number of Divas getting defensive on their blogs about their wrestling skills
Terri Runnels’ million dollar ruse

The “Why Were You Hired?” Award
Lena Yada
Rhaka Khan
Taylor Wilde
Tiffany

Least Photogenic
Candice
Jillian
Katie Lea
Kelly Kelly
Maria

The “Oh the Injustice of It” Award
Cherry released possibly due to her weight
The fans riding Michelle McCool because she’s dating the Undertaker
Natalya being pushed strong upon her debut but then dropped
Talented Knockouts such as ODB, Roxxi and the Beautiful People not getting title opportunities
Torrie Wilson retiring and Victoria possibly retiring

The “Please Get Fired in 2009” Award
Candice
Christy Hemme
Maria
Rhaka Khan
Tiffany

Continue on to read the winners:

Worst Diva of the Year: Ashley
Oh Ashley, it was good to see the back of you in ’08. I have never been more grateful to see the back of someone. Given the list of nominees for this category, it takes a lot to be picked as the worst of the worst, but then again, nothing describes Ashley better.

Worst Knockout of the Year: Christy Hemme
I’m not sure what her appeal is at all to be honest,

Worst Match of the Year: 16 Diva Tag Team Match (Raw, November 3rd)
The fact that this featured sixteen Divas says it all really…

Worst Gimmick: Katie Lea & Paul Burchill as an incestuous brother and sister
Whichever sick fuck came up with this needs counselling.

Worst Wrestler: Maria
This award would have gone to Ashley, but we figure she’s gone now, so it’s time to pinpoint the next worst. Maria’s spastic clotheslines, slow timing and I’m sure I’m missing something…  have gotten rather boring now.

The “Dressed in the Dark” Award: Maria
The so-called fashionista… puh-lease.

The “Oh No She Didn’t” Moment Award: Any one of Ashley’s WTF moments
Ashley gave us a lot of entertainment in the first half of 2008… for all the wrong reasons.

The “Bitch Please” Award: The growing number of Divas getting defensive on their blogs about their wrestling skills
It’s getting really pathetic now. From Candice to Maria to Kelly Kelly to Michelle McCool, we’ve seen more Divas than ever before bitching and whining about how hard they train and how unappreciative the fans are. Get over it.

The “Why Were You Hired?” Award: Lena Yada
Hi Lena, bye Lena…

Least Photogenic: Jillian
For all the good photoshoots we’ve had this year, there’s some Divas that churn out horrible ones. Jillian is by far the worst offender with more plastic surgery than Joan Rivers, her shoots are rather frightful…

The “Oh the Inustice of It” Award: Cherry released possibly due to her weight
Cherry grew on us and the fans seemed to get behind her just as she was dropped. Injustice indeed…

The “Please Get Fired in 2009″ Award: Candice
Candice is already fading off our screens, let’s make it permanent please?

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  • andreas_bangnet

    i love the bitch please award lol

  • Chenda

    The incentuous angle… Oh that credit solely belongs to Vince. And I heart you, Melanie! This is great!

  • Steven

    @ Chenda: Actually Katie and Paul are the sick fucks who came up with the idea. Vince is just the sick fuck who gave the greenlight. And Maryse should’ve won the “Oh no she didn’t”award. That clip kept me entertained for a good three weeks. Lol.

  • Bossman709

    What is the big problem with Candice? She isn’t being pushed as the focus on Raw anyone so why does she need to get fired? It’s not like her being there now is taking away from someone else.

  • KiKi

    The hot mess awards…absolutely hillarious!
    Most definitely a must for next year!

  • afca

    damnnnn! i totally agree with everything
    i thought i was the only one who thought that way!
    guess not!

    Thank you Lord!

  • Marco

    LOL!
    This was great Melanie!
    Bitch Please Award!!! LOL
    I basically agree to everything!
    Thanks for the good giggle!

  • TaylorJade

    This was really cool!
    I agree with everything and the “Bitch Please” was great!

  • http://www.twitter.com/thewweuberfan TheWWEUberfan

    Sorry for the late ass comment and reading of this article. Lol But this had me dying.

  • http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/Pittbull2298?ref=profile pittbull2298

    God I Love The Bitch Writing this lol, marry me.

  • JD Sensations

    the 2009 awards were better. Melanie must have been on her period when writing this.