Say, ever wondered what it would be like to peer into the mind of one Ashley Massaro? Yeah, it’s a frightening prospect, but an interesting one at that. Well wait no longer, because the majesty of the inner workings of her brain have been exposed in her latest MySpace blog. Seemingly, Ashley has been wronged by a (former) significant other, and like any sensible 13-year-old girl that loiters outside the mall while wearing too much eyeliner and a Twilight shirt, she expresses her inner anguish through – what else? – a Dashboard Confessional song!
Enjoy this presentation of “MasterpieceMassaro Theater” below:
“The Best Deceptions”
I heard about your trip.
I heard about your souvenirs.
I heard about the cool breeze, in the cool nights,
And the cool guys that you spent them with.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.Don’t you see, don’t you see, that THE CHARADE IS OVER!
And all the “Best Deceptions” and “Clever Cover Story” awards go to YOU!
So kiss me hard ’cause this will be the last time that I let you.
You will be back someday and this awkward kiss that tells of other
people’s lips will BE OF SERVICE TO KEEPING YOU AWAY.I heard about your regrets.
I heard that you WERE FEELING SORRY.
I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right BETWEEN US.
Well I guess I should have heard of that from you.
I guess I should have heard of that you.
I’m waiting for BLOOD TO FLOW TO MY FINGERS, (and out of this
blistering mess I called a heart. thanks to you it is aLL BLACK.
I’ll be all right when my hands get warm. IGNORING THE PHONE
I’d rather say nothing. I’D RATHER YOU NEVER HEARD MY VOICE.
You’re calling TOO LATE too late to be gracious you do not warrant
long goodbyes.
You’re calling too late.
You’re calling too late.
YOU’RE CALLING TOO LATE.
-credit dashboard
Credit to my rage
If ignorance is bliss…then knock this smile off my face…
If we don’t take action now, we’ll settle for nothing later, we’ll
settle for nothing now, and we’ll settle for nothing later. Fuck
settling.ps I’m keeping the dogs bitch.
If you want to listen to the actual song and get the ~full experience~, check it out below:
But wait, there’s more! Ashley was met with some unflattering “fan” responses. (Click the thumbnails to view the full photos):
To which she responds in the most fair and level-headed way possible – deleting them!:
I don’t know about you guys, but I hope she never returns to the WWE. Why give her a full-time job when she can provide us with simple entertainment like this? And one doesn’t even need to turn on the TV!
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16 Comments
Team Ashley.
I thought you all were going to be avoiding posting stuff like this about Ashley or anybody else after that last post Josie made.
Well goddamn! Those girls totally let her have it. And most of of it was probably true. So sad, Ash. So sad.
To be honest, Manda, this one was too good (and entertaining) to pass up.
omg forealz Ashley neeeeeeds to grow up.
wtf is her problem its like she cant handle what other people have to say so she “deletes” them lol
hopefully the WWe never hires her again.
I’m 13 years old, and I speak with more sophistication with Ashley. She’s like what? 15 years older than me? lol
This is like the holy grail of dumb. And she’s deleting comments too? Wow! Bitchassness, much?
Manda – ‘Posting stuff like this’? I don’t see anything too extreme in this blog. The blog to which you refer contained comments that bordered on personal.
that had to be the funniest thing ever.. she got shredded in those comments hahahahahaha i really hate ashley
Oh, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley. Calling a young fan the c-word? Really? How much more immature can she get. She never ceases to amaze me with her perfectly immature sense of humor. *Rolls eyes* I lol’d at the title. Girls in my class listen to Dashboard like it’s going out of style, so congratulations, Miss Massaro! You’ve oficially been tossed in with a bunch of eigth graders who whine about how bad their lives are.
what a 13 year old piece of white trash…how dare she speak to a fan like that.
a 13 year old Ashley..seriously…I MEAN WOW! So professional of you! This gave me a good laugh! XD I hope Asley continues to humiliate herself on Myspace! It makes me chuckle :D
It’s about time Ashley dished back the insults she’s been receiving for so long. :]
It boggles my mind as to why wrestlers, mainly Divas get so upset when people say bad things about them. Yes, that was an extreme comment, so just delete it.
Telling a 13 year old girl to ‘fuck off’ and calling her a ‘trick’ and a ‘fucking cunt’, what a role model she must be to her daughter.
I agree, Melanie. You should never act that way, especially with a young daughter around. Thumbs up for, Ash. Let’s give her mom of the year!
Ick.