Wednesday, June 23, 2021

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Raw Redux (August 24th, 2009) – OutFoxing the Divas Champion

What do you buy a man who has it all? Nothing. You just let him hog Raw for most of the show. On a night where everything else played second fiddle to Vince McMahon’s birthday celebrations, there wasn’t much in the way of anything groundbreaking or storyling progression. In fact, judging by the pinfall last night, I wouldn’t be surprised if they just did a cointoss to decide who gets to pin who. Now, I love my Alicia Fox but that was some random sh*t last night. I’m sure it took all of their collective energy to write the scintilating Vince segment that they didn’t have time to actually put any effort into anything else. Luckily for a girl like me, I can now boast that Alicia has a victory over the Divas Champion, Mickie James. Yay! Watch below:

You’re forgiven if you overlooked the actual wrestling due to the nature of the match, ‘Mayweather Melee’… really? The distracting outfits and gloves certainly didn’t help. But nonetheless, I’m going to attempt to talk about the match with a straight face:

We actually got off to a pretty good start with Melanie’s favourite Raw Diva, Gail Kim putting last week behind her as she battles Beth Phoenix… but all goes downhill when Gail almost instantly tags in Kelly Kelly. Last week, we confirmed that Kelly is indeed a spot monkey, so what does a spot monkey do? Spots! A hurricanrana, then a leg scissors using the corner for help but Beth catches her into a backbreaker. Honestly, I have no problem with Kelly’s spots in a match like this. There’s limited time and six girls, you gotta get your signature moves out of the way, so in that sense it works. But last week was just not on, Kelly Kelly… we were all rooting for you!

Beth drives Kelly into her corner before tagging out to Rosa Mendes‘s weave [Diva Dirt meme in the making!]. Rosa hits Kelly a few times before Kelly comes back with some decent looking forearms for a change followed by the Torrie Wilson clothesline, nicely sold by Rosa.

Rosa tags in Alicia, Kelly tags Mickie. Alicia runs to Mickie’s corner before she can even get in the ring, but the Divas Champ fights back. Mickie delivers some awesome looking lefts and rights to Foxy, who hits the mat. Really nicely done. She knocks Beth & Rosa off the apron before hitting Alicia with a neckbreaker. She takes a second to pause and adjust her skirt — why were one if you know it’s gonna hike up and you’re going to need to pull it back down? Yeah.

Mickie goes for a pin, Beth breaks it up and gets a missile dropkick from Gail for her efforts. And from one dropkick to another, Kelly hits an awful dropkick to Rosa who’s weave then falls to the outside.

In the ring, Lou Thesz press by Mickie and then some weird looking hair pulling… I don’t even… Anyway, Alicia throws Mickie into the ringpost before hitting a Booker T-licious scissors kick. You could tell she was waiting for Mickie to get into position and was ready to hit it seconds ago, but when she finally did, it didn’t look pretty at all. Alicia gets the win and Melanie marks out.

All in all, I think it was a throwaway edition of Raw, especially for the Divas. I would love to see this lead to something more substantial for Alicia but it likely won’t. If it does, it’ll be an extremely welcome surprise but I don’t know, I just don’t think it means much. Hopefully we’ll go back to actual storylines next week, but I’m not even holding my breath. Blah Raw, great win for my girl though.

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