Is it just me or is Maria the most gullible WWE Diva in history? No, I’m not knocking her… I mean the way she’s scripted. Maria the character hasn’t had much luck in the man stakes, has she? Current beau, Dolph Ziggler is your typical bad boy, the one that all your friends warn you away from and you don’t listen. Oh Maria, if only you had learned from the countless teen soaps…
Let’s look at her man history: Thankfully, unlike countless Divas before her, Maria hasn’t been entangled with Vince McMahon… yet. However her first ‘love affair’, if you could call it that was with one John Cena. Not much happened there, it was kind of a ‘dine and dash’ situation; he kissed her one week and then acted like she didn’t exist the next. Let us reminisce on that ~magical kiss~
Perhaps it was the cold shoulder from the former WWE Champion that led her astray to her future boyfriends…
Let’s surmise; former boyfriend Santino, somewhere between dating and Maria and Beth Phoenix, decided to become a cross dresser. Current boyfriend, Ziggler, was a male cheerleader. Boy, does she know how to pick ‘em or what?
Overzealous boyfriend, Santino, who we shall call ‘Raw boyfriend’ wasn’t happy when Maria decided to pose for Playboy. This resulted in the once lovable, ditzy Maria becoming a whiny, argumentative and petulant in her bid for ~independence~ Sadly, I don’t think posing for Playboy is what the Suffragettes were thinking of, homegirl. After breaking up with Santino and having her clock cleaned by the future Mrs Santino and Melina at WrestleMania 24, in true Jerry Springer style, Maria and Santino fought… literally:
And now that brings us to current boyfriend, Dolphus Ziggalarus aka ‘SmackDown boyfriend’. Let’s be honest, Ziggy is one fine piece of ass minus the bleach blonde hair, but the plot with him, Maria & Melina is the kind of white people drama we expect from 90210, not a wrestling show. Among the romantic Ziggy-Maria dates includes a quickie in the closet:
Ah the makings of true love! Then disaster strikes… Melina, of all people, decides to stick her oar in. I don’t know what’s worse, Melina and Maria acting like they’re friends or Melina having to act like she gives a sh*t about Maria’s love life.
So the plot thickens… This week on SmackDown, the ~love story~ meets another Gossip Girl style turn.
It seems like Maria has been involved in more of these stupid love storylines than any other Diva and every time, gets her poor, ickle heart broken. Torrie Wilson was the go-to girl for T&A in WWE, has Maria become the go-to girl for romantic tragedies? And how soon before the Titanic that is Ziggy & Maria hits the iceberg?
Discuss: So this week on SmackDown, Melina tells Maria she saw Dolph with another girl. I wonder if they might make said ‘other girl’ into a character? No doubt, a character that conveniently knows how to wrestle… Which FCW Diva would you cast in the role of Maria’s antagonist?
RSS
Email
Twitter
Tumblr
Facebook
YouTube
16 Comments
I’d say Serena. Yeah. IF they decide to go that route.
ugh not serena. no offense but i dont think serena’s looks rival maria’s. i would go with april!
who knows who it could be, but who ever it is they should have a model kind of look. Maybe Jenny Cash even though she is injured when she is healed she could debut? Well, who ever it is….they are coming into wwe as a “slut” or “cheater” so it will be hard for them to get rid of in their career….good luck to them!
……but seriously, WHY would you cheat on someone like MARIA! MARIA!
I did some digging (on youtube looking at past tapes) and i think it’s michelle mccool or layla or even katie lea. because they have both said that dolph will leave maria once he finds out he deserves something better. but a new face on sd would be great. katie lea would do a good job at that. she should break away from paul. she hasn’t wrestled in ages… now that i think about it why does ecw even have divas? there are only 5 divas on ecw and they don’t even wrestle…
I’d go with APRIL or even LIVIANA (CANDY GIRL), they seem good for that role, SERENA deserves more than wrestling with Maria on SmackDown. The best one would be APRIL LEE for sure, she is a nice wrestler and she plays a good heel character.
I’m thinking that WWE would probably just use Katie Lea – or that’s what I’d do. They already have so many Divas and they’re not releasing any (yet). I’d say use what you got.
They need to add at least one diva to SmackDown, I can’t stand watching the same matches over and over again!! And a new face diva on Raw would be good to! So I say, add Serena to RAW as a face and April Lee to SmackDown as a heel or face!
OMG I hope it Jenny Cash!!!!
I doubt it would be Katie Lea, besides on ECW she hinted she had some lesbian tendencies.
Wouldn’t it be a shocker if melina was really seeing dolph behind maria’s back & melina turned heel & aligned herself with dolph to torment maria
Even though she hasn’t made an FCW debut yet, developmental talent Jemma Palmer would be the best fit if that is where this storyline is heading. She has a great look and has a wrestling background.
i heard Jemma Palmer got released….
is that true?
LOL Melanie: “Let’s be honest, Ziggy is one fine piece of ass minus the bleach blonde hair” HAHA
Is it me, or am I the only one who finds Melina’s acting as a face pretty fake? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure she’s a nice person, but acting nice isn’t quite her niche.
As for an FCW antagonist…I’d like to say Angela, but I think being a heel will hinder her wrestling as she gets the crowd going with her high-flying style, and heels don’t really do much flying.
I think it’s really a toss up between Kelly Kelly and Maria on who has the most unfortunate storyline love life, but I have to say I enjoyed this article. No truer words have been written. And correction, Dolph Ziggler is a hot piece of ass regardless! :D
LOL yeah agreeing with astrozombie50 on ECW Katea lea told that chrystal girl she would look cute all sexual, bt i doubt that wwe would do anything more then Flirting or talking w/ Katea lea btw Katea Lea is HOTT i love her GOTHIC look there is just somthing about her. I just wish she would get more air time i think they should do one of those Suprise drafts again and move her to smackdown are Raw, bt i am looking more towards smackdown just because she would team with Michelle and Layla and do some damage on Eve Maria and Melina come on WWE doo something!!!