I’d like to think that I have a knack for knowing something or someone special, or seeing something worth looking at or paying attention to. I believe everyone has that power. Whether or not we pay attention to it is our own decision. My time as a full time Diva made life very interesting as there were always those coming in and out of the system and I would pretty much be able to peg them and their future. Although I could always see the fate of others, I never was able to do the same for myself. Lord knows I wish that I could have. Life would have been much simpler. So I guess the question is what makes someone special? It seems that everyone has something to give to the world. Those who know that gift are unstoppable, normally they can be seen from a distance and seem to ‘glow’ and bring ‘light’ into your life when they are around. Those who don’t know why they are here are lost and also easily recognized. They walk around sad with a ‘gloom and doom’ negative, nasty attitude. I’ve been both of those people. I prefer what’s behind door number one, however! Not that we all don’t get lost, I think the best decision we can make is one with our hearts and not with our heads. Our human egos get us into a lot of trouble and can cause a lot of unhappiness. If you’re not doing something for the ‘right’ reason, then why do it at all? It’s bound to eat you alive in the end, right?
Many examples in my life have shown me where I was supposed to go. Odd coincidences, random run-ins and lots of trials and tribulations. Each for their own very good reason came into my life and then at some point exited — or I kicked their jabroni butt out for bringing down my vibe! We all know people like that. They suck the life out of you and take, take, take. Never giving back to you what you give to them. The feed off your energy to make themselves feel stronger or more powerful. Be it a boss, a family member or a friend. These people are leeches and not good for any of us. It’s okay to take a stand and say to that person or just do it without saying, “You are not good for me, I’m taking my energy back!” Wow, will you feel better after you take that first step!
I’ve found that every time I start to feel down or am starting to feel sad, I pick up a book. I tend to gravitate towards healing and self help books (I admit, I need them lol!). Just like I’m prone to write stories that make everyone seem more relatable or hopefully tell a good story that means something. Divas, just like Hollywood starlets, are just regular girls who get great makeup and hair for TV. Bet you wouldn’t recognize most of them walking down the street because we all look so different without our ‘masks’. That’s another thing I struggle with — I’ve always felt like such a misfit because who I am on the outside does not match up with the me on the inside. Being judged stinks, I think we can all agree. I’ve mentioned before that being ‘pretty’ gets old and stagnant and what does that really mean? What difference is that really going to make when I’m not in this world? Sometimes it feels like a curse, but I know it’s not. I find myself constantly on a mission to show that ‘pretty is as pretty does, and I’d venture to say that is one of my life’s works. Pretty girls can be nice and it is totally refreshing when they are! Like a tall glass of water! Some of the other “grizzled Divas,” can now officially start taking notes, wink wink.
Karma can be a great thing or an ugly thing. Mine is fear based and anytime it even crosses my mind to ‘play the game dirty’, my fear of a cosmic crash stops me dead in my tracks. I’ve seen it happen before and I’ve heard it mentioned recently related to one of our beloved Knockouts. I’ll be the first to stand up for my friend Angel. Here’s what has gotten me in trouble my whole life — opening my mouth. But I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, only those I love and those who love me. I’ll admit that I had many reservations upon meeting her when I reported to developmental over four years ago; repuations can sometimes exceed people, myself included. I can only speak for how she has treated me, but I can honestly say that Angel has been one of the people in this business that I believe to be good. She has always been honest (to my knowledge) and upfront with me about our friendship. So that’s how I judge her. Based upon how she treated me. Not on what others say! Naive Lacey — Girl, DTA DTA DTA doll face! Watch for the daggers… seriously.
I’d imagine that many of Angel’s sheep friends just stayed with the herd. I don’t know what happened in ‘that situation’, I wasn’t backstage but I think I would’ve paid good money to have been. Nosy — another thing that gets me in trouble! Not nosy for malicious intent, but I do have a little southern ‘busybody’ in me, though I’d like not to admit it. Just curious, maybe? Nah, just nosy. I wish I would’ve been a fly on that wall! The karmic crash on this one could be substantial and I hope the story we all have heard is what really happened. However, knowing backstage politics as I do, I have my doubts.
Pretty is as pretty does… Who falls into that category as far as the Divas go? Yikes, nevermind cannot go there. But wouldn’t the world be such a great place if that were the case. It seems like in life, attractiveness — both male and female — rarely equates to nice. I’ll tell one more story before I finish. This one stuck with me and still makes me nauseated when I think about it. Here goes…
So I’m backstage at a WWE Raw and before the show, everyone is preparing for television and gathered around the ring. Now I’m just the jobberette trying to stay out of the way, keep to myself and blend in with the herd. Keep in mind I didn’t say follow, I said blend. I’d had my 12 Xanax for the day so I’m pretty relaxed at this point (wink wink). Just sitting back and observing, which I often did. Vince is in the ring and there are a couple of guys that have been brought over locally to be ‘squash guys’ for Umaga that night. These local guys are literally grinning from ear to ear, thrilled to death to be inside a WWE ring! I rmembered that excitement, I too had once felt that! I believe that they could’ve died that very moment as happy men. Vince is talking with them about what he wants for the show and how he wants it done, respectfully I might add and is not talking ‘down’ to anyone. I never witnessed him do that. Then a certain ‘top guy’ comes strolling over acting like his ‘poo doesn’t stink’, shall we say. He looks the squash guys up and down in the ring and starts to laugh hysterically! Now this is a grown man, laughing at a couple of guys who could’ve died and gone to heaven right then and there, just because they were able to spend one day backstage at a WWE event. I sat and watched in horror as the herd started to join in, and everyone around ‘top guy’ began to giggle. He then said and I quote: “What the f**k are those guys doing in my ring? Get those disgusting slobs out of my ring,” he announced haughtily. And then he waited for the sheep to follow, and one by one they each started chiming in and I watched it circle the whole way around the ring. Each person, whether they agreed or not, said something ugly or at least laughed at the expense of others and in hopes of getting ‘over’.
Eff that! I was repulsed and embarassed that I was an employee for WWE at that very moment. Who gives Captain Douchebag the right to treat anyone like that? What we are given can be taken away so easily and in the blink of an eye. A true class act and champion would’ve taken the time to bring those guys up, rather than trying to squash their self -esteems and kill dreams. This goes back to my energy stealers. He was trying to steal the energy (probably unknowingly — I hope at least) of those poor guys to make himself feel more superior. They didn’t even know it, though I’m sure they felt it! It’s probably just become his way of life. Saddest of all, his peers just fed right in… Ugh, gag me with a spoon! A real champion, not one that is ‘worked’ or champion via storyline, would never do that! But too often this is the case. It’s sad that some feel like that is the way they have to co-exist.
Wrapping up with a favorite quote, I don’t know who wrote this but it hangs in front of my bed as a daily reminder to myself. It reads: “Those who always give, will always have.” Until next time!