Back in the 1920s, showbiz had a slang term for a failure or flop: they’d call it a turkey*. Fitting, given the failures we witnessed tonight on this Thanksgiving episode of Raw where a certain Diva went so far as to dress in a turkey costume for her big return. So, was it cleverly self-referential or just a bad idea? I think we know the answer to that, but just in case let’s watch the situation unfold and decide for ourselves:
Predictably, the Divas have dressed up for a “Mayflower Melee”, AKA Thanksgiving-themed 6-Diva tag match. The faces–Mickie James, Melina, and Kelly Kelly–are decked out in (*cough* super un-P.C. *cough*) Native American garb, while the heels–Michelle McCool, Layla, and Jillian–are Pilgrims. All look pretty ridiculous, even Kelly, who apparently decided to put on a tan dress and some Nikes and call it a day. But hey, at least she doesn’t look like she’s doing a Kindergarten Thanksgiving play like Michelle & co. I must say, I love how pissed they looked to be dressed in those Pilgrim costumes. At least they’re acknowledging how lame the idea is, unlike so many times in the past.
Before the match starts they are joined by the guest time keeper, the Gobbledy Gooker! …You know, the giant turkey that hatched on live television in what was known as one of the biggest “WTF” moments in WWE history? I guess since they had two Thanksgiving cliches represented, they decided to go for the trifecta. Gooker stands in the corner and awkwardly rings the bell, signaling the start of the match.
Melina and Jillian start out the match, probably praying that they can scrub off some of the bad mojo they’ve had with each other as of late. They start with a tie-up, Melina getting the upper hand by wrenching Jillian’s arm. Jillian gains control, slamming Melina to the mat. Melina reverses an irish-whip into the corner, sending Jillian into the turnbuckle and proceeding to send a shoulder into her stomach. She lays Jillian across the second ropes, prepping her a double-knee attack. Before she can do it, however, Jillian yanks her by her dress, pulling her to the mat. She tosses Melina by the hair and taunts the crowd a bit.
Jillian whips Melina into the ropes but Melina hangs on. Before she can do anything, though, Jillian meets her with an elbow to the face. She whips Melina into the turnbuckle, prepping for her handspring elbow attack. Before she can do any damage, Melina catches her with her legs, choking her and chopping her on the head. Once back on their feet Melina takes down Jillian with a (almost malfunctioned) facebuster. She goes for the pin, but Jillian kicks out.
Melina attempts to whip Jillian to the ropes and Jillian reverses and when Melina hits the ropes, Michelle grabs her by the hair, distracting her. Melina socks her in the face for it, and she swings at Layla too, who merely hops off the apron and goes to check on Michelle. When she turns back around, Jillian nearly takes her head off with a clothesline.
Apparently, Michelle and Layla have had enough of these shenanigans, taking off their bonnets and heading for the exit. Jillian protests, shrieking at her partners for abandoning her. When she turns back around, Melina sweeps her off her feet, bridging into a pin and getting the 3-count. Melina, Mickie, and Kelly celebrate as poor Charlie Brown Jillian rolls out of the ring and takes her leave.
Post-match Jerry Lawler, for some reason, decides to speak to Melina in the middle of the ring, also joined by the giant turkey. Oh, this can’t possibly end so obviously, can it? Why the impromptu victory speech? Eh, maybe he was going to ask Melina what she was thankful for. But, before she can finish speaking of the virtues of working with Kelly Kelly, the Gobbledy Gooker unmasks and attacks Melina (so yeah, it actually can end that obviously). This mystery turkey is, as many expected, Maryse, making her return to Raw after months on the mend. She beats Melina with the turkey head (hey, maybe it’s lined with lead) before posing, shrieking at the sight of herself, and plopping down on the mat to take off the costume. This takes about 5 minutes to do so, effectively sucking out what little enthusiasm the crowd had about the twist to begin with. It’s actually pretty awkward at this point. Maryse flips her hair a few dozen times, showing off her signature arrogance that is usually fine and dandy, but makes little sense after popping out of a giant turkey costume. I mean, you can’t possibly think you looked like the “sexiest of the sexy” doing that, do you?
The whole segment, in my opinion, went over like a lead balloon. For a 6-Diva tag team match, there wasn’t a single tag-out; Melina and Jillian worked the entire match. So, I guess it pretty much just served as an excuse to get the Divas into costumes and usher in Maryse’s return. But really, don’t you think there was a better way to bring back a Diva who’s been on the injured list for several months? Perhaps pulling the trigger on a return at the Pay-Per-View the night before? I don’t get it–even on paper, this idea seems ridiculous. And, as ridiculous as the idea sounds, it was even worse in execution. Maryse just didn’t sell the silliness of the situation, so the crowd didn’t know how to react: boo because she’s attacking the fan favorite, or laugh at a pretty blonde girl in a turkey costume? I know returns aren’t typically supposed to be treated as silly, but when you’ve thrown a turkey costume into the mix, there’s not much else you can do but try and get a comedic response out of it. The crowd barely reacted at all as Maryse preened and posed. These mixed signals certainly ruined her return; I mean, what kind of momentum could be built off a turkey attack?
I’m sure next week she’ll return to form, insulting Melina and calling herself sexy, yadda yadda yadda. It’ll be a Divas Championship feud, inevitably. Optimistically, it’ll be interesting to see Melina and Maryse work together, as they haven’t done so much at all. I’m excited to see what kind of dynamic there will be between them. Sadly, though, I’m sure the feud will be overshadowed by the absurd memory of the action that kick-started it all: the turkey attack™.
But, to lighten the mood a bit, I thought I’d include a little segment shown later on in the show. Gail Kim, Alicia Fox, and Eve Torres, and the Bella Twins had a bit of fun with Santino and some pies. It’s an old schtick, but I laughed at it. Santino plays the oblivious misogynist perfectly, telling the Divas that they had the “honor” to cook him Thanksgiving dinner. Their responses, of course, spoke for themselves:
I don’t know why, but I laughed so hard at the “I can recognize your voices” line. This proves that the WWE can still do silly bits, but they need to actually execute it correctly, not make it too inane, and not confuse the fans in the process. Is Maryse in a turkey suit funny or not? By her selling of the situation, you’d never know. Maybe she just needed a few whip cream-covered pies the throw at Melina; hell, if you’re going to make her return absurd, you might as well go whole hog with it
What do you say, readers? Where does Maryse’s return rank in your book: hilarious or just heinous? One of the best, or one of the worst? Where does it land on the Diva return spectrum (a 10 being Lita’s gallant Trish-saving return, a 1 being Candice’s blink-and-you-missed-it return)? Try to wrap your mind around that barrage of questions and sing your song in the comments!
*Scroll down to Word Origins to see the full story.
39 Comments
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If I ever needed another reason to be a fan of Michelle McCool, I got it last night. Not only did she speak out finally for being put in those ridiculous matches but she left that god awful match before it may have became a travesty. The only thing I hated was that they had to cut off Michelle right when the promo was getting good. I wanted to hear some more!
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Well, it was just weird. Not to mention that it already happened like…a dozen times. Every once in a while some wrestler in a stupid outfit attacks their rival while they are having a speech. That happened to Chavo, when he was attacked by someone dresses as a mariachi (i don’t remember who was the attacker), for instance.
But well, Im not going to talk about the match: where once again Jillian was used as a jobber. The match was an excuse to put some divas in ugly costumes. The attack of Maryse: idiotic. I mean, hitting Melina with the turkey head? Like Erin said, if she threw some pies it would have been more funny, not to mention more insulting and less stupid, because seeing Melina going down after being hit by a part of a costume is way ridiculous.
Anyways…loved the Santino part. I actually enjoy when he interacts with the Divas while using the italian guy stereotype. He’s just hilarious. Maybe that’s why he won two times in a row the award for best gimmick. Oh, and OMG, Gail talked. I’m very happy for you girl. We all were starting to think that you were mute. Lets just hope they push you soon.
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I loved that backstage segment, so cute and funny! Poor Vickie lol!
Maryse’s return: Happy to have her back but honestly, that segment was awful. WWE couldn’t decide whether it was meant to be comedic or serious and I don’t think that’s Maryse’s fault. The whole Gobbeldy Gooker shit is supposed to be ~funny~ but then you’re supposed to take Maryse’s return seriously as she attacks Melina? It doesn’t work. The execution was awful but it was a unique idea for a return. The whole King interview thing was ridiculous too, it would’ve been more realistic if the Gooker got in the ring to celebrate with Melina and co. and then attacked her.
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Possible face turn for Jillian? Nah, dont think so. If Michelle/Layla were on the RAW roster maybe. Although with Maryse’s return and Katie it is possible. With Maryse+Alicia+Katie they dont really need Jillian to be a heel. And i predict that Katie will become the new jobber for the Divas anyway, so a good moment for a face turn.
The diva match started good with Michelle’s promo. Too bad she has an awful voice, which is kinda a big turnoff when she cuts a promo. With a better voice she would probably cut some great promos.
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the match was meh at best,
i think the return was good, but they should have made maryse a suit that could come off easyer
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i loved maryse’s evil monkey impression when king trys to stop her hitting melina with the mask
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I thought beginning with the introductions was really funny. Michelle did good and I’m glad the divas finally got to voice an opinion about the ridiculous costume matches that they have to pretend they’re taking seriously. It’s also funny that they left partway through.
Didn’t like the gobbledygook costume. Not quite suitable for my Maryse, but her shriek when she saw she was still wearing the leggings was hilarious.
The interview was so ridiculous. Is it possible that ANYONE surprised by what happened? And Melina? Who passes out from being hit in the stomach with a turkey head?
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The Raw divas division just got interesting again thanks to one person. No one has ever looked sexier in a turkey costume.
The in-ring interview has become the tip-off to attacks. Just like Rey/Batista.
With three weeks to go, I think they may drag this feud into Royal Rumble, and give Michelle/Mickie the divas match at TLC. It may be too soon to give Maryse the belt back, while at the same time too soon to have her lose a championship match coming off a return.
It’ll be interesting to see if they make Alicia the Layla to Maryse’s Michelle.
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So happy to see Maryse back! She was missed but something was weird for me. I think she was nervous which is understandable IMO. And her outfit… To die for! The shoes were fab! If something “shined” on her return, it was definatly her outfit.
The backstage segment was hilarious! One more time, Santino proves why he’s the funniest wrestling character on TV today.
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The best part of the night was Alicia, Gail, Eve, Bella Twins, and Santino backstage. The match was boring. Maryse’s return was awful. Her getting out of the turkey costume took longer than the match did.
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Maryse comeback might looked good on paper but she clearly botch somethings. One guys siad from the crowd “learn how to wrestler” and a woman said “eww” when she took off her clothes. LOL!
But when Maryse learn how to do a proper backbreaker, I would take her wrestling serious.
But the backstage segment with the divas and Santino was very funny. I hope we can get a Gail Kim/Alicia feud.
Their match would be 10 times better.
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the match was okay IMO,the work between melina and Jillian was decent,it was way better then there past outings but the only reason Jillian was even in the match was because they need her to do the “JOB”,poor Jillian,when will she ever get her chance:(
I felt so sad for Jillian when michelle and layla ditched her,on top of being a jobber,Jillian also doesn’t have any friends,my heart goes out to hers
maryse return was a disgrace,poorly handled and nothing but a comedy moment,she couldn’t even undress herself
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that backstage segment was SO funny =]
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Maryse wearing some expensive shoes when going bare foot would have been much easier is pretty fitting for her character.
Also, glad to see the next Divas title feud start with an angle. Hopefully, they just bring up that Maryse never got a re-match when she lost the title and have Melina want revenge for last night as the reason for making the match. I really don’t want to see another #1 contender battle royal.
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@spiffy: “It’ll be interesting to see if they make Alicia the Layla to Maryse’s Michelle”.
That would be just awful.
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Also, Gail sounds pretty good during that segment. That was her first time ever talking since coming back to WWE.
I hope RAW give the divas more mic time and backstage segments since Maryse is back.
I want to know what happen to the Jack Swagger/Eve storyline.
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As for the backstage segment, I felt bad for the Divas, especially Gail and Alicia. You could have heard a pin drop when Gail’s face appeared on screen and when Alicia showed up. The crowd liked Santino and seeing Vickie get hit with the pie, but that was it.
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“But when Maryse learn how to do a proper backbreaker, I would take her wrestling serious.”
She has done good backbreakers plenty of times. But she isnt very consistent yet, sometimes it looks good, other times terrible. Thats where experience comes in, which she doesnt have yet. If she stays injury free, in a few years her basic moves should look much better. For Trish and Lita it also took a long time to look good in the ring.
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Honestly, you’ve seen one Maryse feud, you’ve seen them all.
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I loved the backstage segment (Vickie looked so cute when she came in!) and I loved McCool’s promo before the match.
The match was pretty shoddy, Melina and Jillian should be kept away from one another. Loved Layla and Michelle walking out, that was cool. Maryse’s return was lame imo, I was really looking forward to it but it was a huge let-down. On paper it sounds good, but the execution wasn’t good at all. Maybe if Gooker had come in to dance with the faces, then attacked them all (focusing mostly on Melina) that would have been much better. The random and pointless interview made it far too obvious.
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“Honestly, you’ve seen one Maryse feud, you’ve seen them all.”
We’re screwed, then, since she hasn’t feuded with anyone on the current Divas roster besides Mickie and the series of matches with Michelle.
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No comments on the match besides that Melina and Jillian looked better working together than before.
The pre-match promo was great,but like Chris said,they cut her off when it was getting good.I think the whole point of the Michelle and Layla leaving thing was to show that the Smackdown divas don’t like RAW,well at least in my head!Lol!Smackdown divas don’t take no shit!
The post-match attack for me was unexpected,because I was probably to tired to care.Am I the only one who laughed like a maniac when Maryse started hitting Melina with the turkey head,and Melina actually stayed down?!lol,that was pathetic.I’m happy to see Maryse back,but damn that segment was awful.
The backstage segment was hilarious,and I’m so happy my girl Gail finally got to speak!I love how se always seems pissed off at someone when she does speak.And the Vickie part made me laugh as well as the “I recognize your voices” line.Lulz,lulz,lulz….
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and it’s started. return of maryse = return of maryse mark chrisp who defends her to the death over any little thing.
do you not have anything better to do than scour the net for anti-maryse comments to mark out over?
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Since last night’s match and Maryse’s return was so embarrassing I was hoping you guys wouldn’t do a Raw Redux. But hey oh well.
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did anyone else see the beth phoenix sign?? when michelle was talking and i was looking and it said beth phoneix is my dad xD