The Tiffany Guide to Impact: Deck the Halls Knockouts

This week on Impact, ODB gives Tara a panic attack, Dixie Carter spills the beans, Kristal lays down the law, Lauren gets woman-handled a la Mi Pi Sexy, and Jeff Jarrett tells TNA to kiss his ass!  Meanwhile, Tazz responds with a sturdy “WHO?” to the mention of Lacey Von Erich.  The Tiffany Guide to Impact: sharing the same sentiments with TNA’s road agents since 2009.

While that pretty much summarizes last night’s episode in a nutshell, TNA still manages to squeeze in a 5-minute Knockouts bout in the 3/4 hour.  Hamada vs. Sarita takes center stage in this installment.

Hamada and Sarita lock up, and Hamada grabs Sarita from behind.  She takes Sarita over successfully the first time, tries for a second, but Sarita lands on her feet.  Sarita leads Hamada into an arm drag.  However, Hamada ducks a clothesline and flips Sarita into an arm drag of her own.  Sarita reiterates the exchange with yet another arm drag, and both Knockouts go for a dropkick.  Hamada and Sarita both kip up, and in typical Knockout fashion, they have a stand-off.

Readying themselves back into the match-up, the ladies link hands.  Hamada breaks the hold with a kick to the midsection and a series of chops and headbutts to Sarita.  Hamada runs the ropes, ducks Sarita’s knee, goes for a leg feed Enzuigiri but misses.  A couple kicks to her opponent later, Sarita runs the ropes and utilizes this momentum to hop onto Hamada’s shoulders.  This leads into an impressive hurricanrana.  Sarita powers up, however Hamada quickly recovers and catches her with a superkick.  Hamada covers Sarita, and Sarita barely gets the shoulder up at 2.

Always the risk taker, Hamada sails to the top rope and plants Sarita with a front dropkick. Transitioning this into a pinning position, it only results in another near-fall. Unperturbed by this close call, Hamada picks Sarita up by the hair and drags her into position for the Hamada Driver.  Sarita is quick to counter into a victory roll, which surprisingly only renders a 2-count.  Not to be outdone, Sarita swiftly grounds Hamada with a float-over DDT.  Hooking Hamada’s leg, she goes for the cover again, but Hamada gets the shoulder up in time.

Here, the match takes an interesting turn as Sarita rolls Hamada into a rather complex (though aesthetically effective) submission maneuver.  The hold doesn’t quite sustain Hamada, who maneuvers into a modified crucifix pin but only generates a 2-count for her troubles.

Consequently, Sarita staggers to her feet only to succumb to two nasty-looking spinning kicks to the side of the head.  Hamada takes a brief moment to signal her signature driver, which she bestows upon Sarita for the 3-count and the win.

It was only a matter of time until the golden girls of the TNA Knockouts division would cross paths.  While Sarita and Hamada have both managed nearly spotless records on Impact, this ménage à quatre (also involving Alissa Flash and Taylor Wilde) comes to a head with Hamada coming out on top.  Hamada is quickly climbing the ladder in terms of Knockout stardom, and it will only be a matter of time before this winning streak calls for something extra.  Hopefully, TNA will have something new and exciting in store for the incredibly talented Hamada.  As far as Sarita and Taylor Wilde go… at least they can now bond over the fact that they have both been laid out by one of the greatest.

Next, Tara guest stars on “Trash Talk with ODB.”  The Knockouts Champion and the #1 Contender come to blows, and a few interesting sentiments are exchanged.

In this episode of “Trash Talk with ODB,” the Knockouts Champion greets her opponent for Final Resolution, Tara, and remains defiant while doing so.  At the start of the segment, Tara is as gracious as ever  (obviously willing to overlook the bad blood from last week), but ODB wants nothing of it.  At the berating from ODB, Tara discusses her experience in (gasp!) the company-that-shan’t-be-named.  She acknowledges the abatement of her career as a Diva, her respect for TNA’s Knockouts division, and the “joke” she had become in WWE (admittedly).  A brawl ensues.

While this is obviously a worked spot (well, duh), it’s senseless not to recognize that plenty of what Tara expresses about her WWE career is sincere.  It really goes without saying how much Tara has re-evolved since her departure from WWE.  Winning the title from ODB at Final Resolution would be a real coming-of-age for Tara’s career, moreso than her first run with the Knockouts Championship.  In my opinion, TNA is already handling this title opportunity much better than the first go-around… and with good reason. All we want for Christmas is a credible Knockouts Champion!