Is It Time For Divas to Get in on the “WWE Studios” Action?

The WWE is set to hold a press conference today in New Orleans to discuss their next John Cena vehicle, “Brother’s Keeper”, which by the looks of it seems to be a step away from the Steven Segal-esque “things go boom” type of films that the WWE’s WWE Studios division had been specializing in. However, (and more interestingly in my opinion), it is speculated that they will announce the production of two new films at this press conference as well.

Now, it’s probably a very unlikely thing, but do you think it would be possible for a Diva to get in on the WWE Studios action? If this new heartfelt Cena movie is any indication, the WWE’s isn’t any longer interested in producing strictly testosterone fests, so I’d figure that makes it slightly more likely that Divas could appear in future films. I’m not kidding myself into thinking that they’d give a Diva a starring role, but it’d be interesting to see them on the big screen, no? For better or worse (and having seen some of them act, that latter might be more likely), I’d get behind the idea of a few Diva-related casting announcements. The WWE isn’t going to be winning any Oscars for their film work any time soon, obviously, but as long as they’re making popcorn fare and giving John Cena and Big Show something for their IMDB pages, why not give a Diva the chance to stretch her acting chops?

With that in mind, we at Diva Dirt have come up with a few movie roles in which a Diva could be cast. Are you listening, WWE Studios?

Mickie James as “the War-Affected Wife” à la Natalie Portman in “Brothers”
Mickie is a thoroughly southern girl–her recording a country music album is proof positive of that. What is more heartland America than the story of the war-affected family? These stories have been told many times on the screen, and the women are often portrayed as brave but lonely souls left to deal with their families and everyday life while their significant other is deployed overseas. Mickie has a natural wholesomeness about her (certain pictures notwithstanding) that could translate well to the story of an all-American woman in a decidedly tragic all-American tale.

Kelly Kelly as “the Frightened Pretty Girl” à la every actress in every horror movie ever made
One of the biggest horror movie cliches is the pretty young thing that faces the wrath of the villain. She’s not too bright, makes all the wrong decisions, but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t look pretty while being stalked and slaughtered. Kelly fits this description pretty well–she’s very pretty, but doesn’t get a lot of credit in the “intellect” department. She’s often manipulated by the more forceful heels and isn’t the toughest Diva around, but the fans love her. Thus, she’s got the popularity the horror movie female possesses, along with the lack of gumption that lands them six feet under by the end of the film.

Beth Phoenix as “the Woman Hell-Bent on Revenge” à la Melanie Laurent in the “Inglourious Basterds”
If the past has taught us anything, it’s that you don’t want to cross the Glamazon. She’s decimated many foes in the past, and she definitely seems the type that would hold a grudge–right, Santino? Thus, it’s easy to picture her as the personification of the old adage “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, much like Shosanna, the vengeful Jewish girl in “Inglourious Basterds”. She is positively single-minded, going forward at all costs in her plot of revenge against the Nazis, and Beth echoes that “freakishly focused” mentality perfectly.

Melina as “the Woman in a Man’s World” à la Michelle Rodriquez in the “Fast & Furious” movies
Whether a heel or a babyface, Melina exudes an attitude that says that she is always trying to prove herself. Even as a champion, one gets the feeling that she is still reaching for that higher rung on the ladder. Similarly, the classic “woman in a man’s world” character is constantly looking to prove to her peers how she is just as good or even better than them, working perhaps too hard to do so at her own expense. Melina gives one the impression that she’d do almost anything if it meant improving her craft, and this eagerness to impress and prove her worth draws an accurate parallel to those “bad ass”, grease-and-sweat covered ladies playing alongside the boys.

Layla as “the Spunky Dancer” à la Briana Evigan in “Step Up 2 the Streets”
Layla’s a dancer, so it fits fundamentally. But, another feature that these plucky, spunky females possess is the focus that propels them to practice (in pop music-laced montages) endlessly until they reach their goal. Layla is one of those Divas that doesn’t let up when she’s in the ring–she’s constantly on her opponent, most often in a body-twisting submission hold, screaming at the referee and anyone who will listen if she doesn’t get an expected 3-count. In that sense, she’s relentless in her pursuit of victory, much like these ladies who aspire to dance their opponents to shame. It may be a different ballgame, but the effort is the same. Though, I’ll wager a guess to say that Layla’s ultimate goal probably doesn’t involve her street dancing in a conveniently-timed rainstorm.

Jillian as “the Slapstick Comedienne” à la Anna Faris in the “Scary Movie” movies
Jillian’s schtick, for a long time now, has been comedic relief. Her singing skits are decidedly hit-or-miss, but there’s no denying that she’s got a type of comedic bravery that allows her to make herself look foolish on a regular basis. This is comparable to the comediennes that practice the type of “slapstick” physical comedy that sets them apart from their fellow funny girls. Harkening back to the likes of Lucille Ball, they go balls-out to get a laugh, and don’t care how ridiculous they look in the process. Anna Faris, for example, does this type of comedy a lot, and Jillian appears to be mimicking that style of silliness in her song-and-dance routines, performing on and on despite the cascade of boos crashing down on her.

Maria as “the Unlucky-in-Love Heroine” à la the leading woman in most romantic comedies
Maria is likable, evidenced by the glowing reactions she regularly gets from the fans. However, she has been often let down by the men in her life, facing betrayal despite her best efforts. From Santino to Dolph Ziggler, Maria mirrors that cliche “unlucky in love” romantic comedy heroine in that, despite her numerous positive qualities, can’t seem to find luck in the love department. She’s not had to act exasperated at a silly male companion nor bicker with one, but I’m sure if the WWE writers could have found a way to fit it into her storylines, they would have, because they’ve fit in most of the other cliches. Let’s face it–Maria’s the girl that the audience roots for despite her difficulties, but like the ladies toplining the endless, identical romantic comedies that Hollywood churns out, she’ll probably find a serendipitous happy ending sooner or later.

Alicia Fox as “the Queen Bee” à la Rachel McAdams in the “Mean Girls”
Alicia has been portrayed more as a follower than a leader so far in her WWE tenure, but if her character’s larger-than-life attitude is any indication, she’s got all the makings of a Queen Bee. Much like Rachel McAdam’s Regina George in “Mean Girls”, Alicia’s got an inflated sense of self worth and an attitude that turns off most people. She’s not seen a ton of success in the WWE just yet, but you wouldn’t know it judging by her confidence. She’s too new to have a train of underlings, but rest assured that when the time comes that Alicia is considered a “tenured Diva”, she’ll have plenty of followers to do her bidding. Until then, she can toot her own horn just fine. And hey, Rachel McAdams was well into her 20s when she played a high schooler, so if she can do it, why not Alicia?

Michelle McCool as “the Inspirational Outsider” à la Hilary Swank in “Freedom Writers”
Did you know that Michelle was a teacher in another life (if the announcers mentioning it 20 times every match since her debut didn’t burn it into your memory)? That little tidbit is the foundation of why I think she embodies that “inspirational outsider” character so well. She has a sense of leadership that shows through in her character–she doesn’t follow others, she is followed (Layla and Alicia can tell you that). Though she is a snotty heel at the present, the goodness of Michelle McCool is unmistakable, and you know deep down that she would be quite at home helping those underprivileged students like Hilary Swank in “Freedom Writers” or Michelle Pfeiffer in “Dangerous Minds”. She might be a straight-and-narrow “square”, but her never-say-die confidence will win them over and dramatically change their lives forever. Toss in a cheesy, soaring theme song and you’ve got yourself a movie!

Maryse as “the Obsessed Other Woman” à la Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction”
Maryse’s biggest asset is her ego. No, really, it is. She might not be the best in-ring worker, but she has seen success in her short time with the WWE because of arrogance. Her gigantic ego gives her the ammo to pester her opponents and annoy them to the point where they go blind with frustration and allow her to slip away with a victory. She never wavers in her high estimation of herself, always and forever the “sexiest of the sexy”. She is “not going to be ignored“, people! It’s easy to pin her as the type that won’t take no for an answer, much like Glenn Close’s character in “Fatal Attraction” (the woman who uttered that quote, if you didn’t catch the reference). She won’t accept rejection, and will make life a living hell for anyone who tries it. It’s frighteningly easy to picture her boiling that bunny, no?

Eve Torres as “the Ugly Duckling Made Beautiful” à la Rachel Leigh Cook in “She’s All That”
No, Eve was likely never an “ugly duckling”, but the women in those types of roles weren’t either. Audrey Hepburn in “My Fair Lady”? Rachel Leigh Cook in “She’s All That”? Yeah.. Just toss on some unflattering clothes and accessories and you’ve got yourself a girl ripe for a makeover. With Hollywood standard of “ugliness”, Eve would only need a pair of horn-rimmed glasses, some homely clothes, and messy hair to fit the bill. By the end of the story, predictably, she’ll be her fully blossomed, beautiful self, and everyone will learn a valuable lesson in the process… or not.

So, do you think the Divas deserve to get in on the WWE Studios action? Are there any obvious castings that we missed? Vote for your favorite role below and speak your mind in the comments!

[poll id="467"]

• Share

Tags Alicia Fox Beth Phoenix Eve Torres Jillian Hall Kelly Kelly Layla Maria Kanellis Maryse Melina Michelle McCool Mickie James