If last week’s Raw was lacking in terms of build-up to the Divas Championship Tournament finals, this week was downright moronic. With Maryse and Gail Kim‘s long-delayed match still set for this Sunday’s Elimination Chamber PPV, one would be safe to assume that there would be at least some build up for it on the last Raw before the show. Just a little? Maybe even merely acknowledging it? Well, keep your hopes at ground level, kids, because the WWE disappointment machine was on full power this week:
Guest GM Jerry Springer comes to the ring for a special show entitled “WWE Superstars’ Most Intimate Relationship Secrets Revealed”. If you’ve ever seen Springer’s show, you know that it only features the trashiest of the trashy (think topless midget fights), so this was never destined to be flattering for any individual involved. Springer introduces Kelly Kelly, whose secret is that she’s pregnant! Yep, she must be early along, because we all know nothing says pregnant like washboard abs and a belly-baring top. She tells Jerry that she doesn’t know who the father is, in a move more akin to Maury Povich’s show than Springer. But whatever, just go with it. All you need to know is that Kelly is the village bicycle.
She brings out the first possible father, Santino. He calls Jerry Maury and details the situation that he thinks got Kelly knocked up. Kelly then tells him that she needed someone else to “finish the job”. It’s at this moment that I wonder what happened to the WWE’s PG aspirations. I guess they go out the window when someone like Springer’s on the show. Still, I’d be pissed if I were a parent who brought my kid to the show.
She says she needed someone with more experience, and this prompts Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler to be brought into the mix. A few dry heaves later, Brie and Nikki Bella come out with a revelation of their own. They say they saw someone else with Kelly, and Nikki breaks in to announce that Brie is a man. They catfight, Springer style. After the fight is broken up, the next possible baby daddy is brought out, and Chris Masters enters. In response to this, Eve Torres comes busting in with her best impression of a Springer guest, trash talking Kelly for “stealing her man” and fighting with her. She then reveals to Chris that she had cheated on him with the Great Khali, who comes to the ring and embraces her. The craziness simmers down, and Jerry reads the results of the paternity test, revealing the father of Kelly’s 3-day old fetus. Science has come a long way, eh?
He announces that the father is Hornswoggle, in a predictable WWE punchline. He runs around the ring a bit before Jerry has had enough and leaves, saying that these shenanigans are too much for even him. Lawler tells him that it was all a joke, and that they have a secret of Springer’s to reveal. They reveal that Springer has had a secret relationship with… Mae Young! Yep, if there isn’t a punchline more predictable than using Hornswoggle, it’s using Mae Young. She kisses on him and the segment ends.
Now, I would be just fine with this bit of silliness (because that’s all it is–a gag to fit with the week’s GM) if we also had some actual Diva action on the show to balance it out. Sadly, even though the match is in a few days, the WWE didn’t even take a moment to acknowledge the match on the show. Instead, we get a bit of build-up on Superstars, the show that nobody watches. Gotta love the calculated booking for this feud, eh?
If it wasn’t obvious by now, the Divas on Raw are a ridiculously low priority to the bookers. From last week’s joke of a match to this week’s complete ignoring of the impending “big” title bout, it’s obvious that they never had a real plan for this “tournament”. Melina’s injury caught them off guard, and they’ve been reeling ever since, with week upon week of subpar matches and half-assed booking. I just hope they remember to put the match on the PPV. Hey, they might need extra time for the pre-match promos for both Elimination Chamber matches, after all! I really just want this “tournament” to be over so we can have some semblance of a plan or feud for the Divas. Right now, it’s just been a strategy of “throw shit against the wall and see what sticks”, and nothing’s even sticking. The booking for the Divas hasn’t sucked this bad in a long, long time, and it’s tough to even care about it at this point. Hopefully, maybe after Sunday’s match we can raise the bar on the Care-o-Meter from “don’t give a shit” to “minimal interest”. Dream big, people!
Food for thought: Would you like to see the WWE return to a more risqué style, as seen on Raw, or should they stick to the PG label?
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32 Comments
“If you have a kid with him, don’t you know Grand Master Sexay? Your kid’s going to be a screw up!”
Best line. Santino was made for segments like this.
I would kill for another attitude era. I like the idea of a family-friendly wrestling program/company, but come one… it’s wrestling. It’s sports entertainment. We are wrestling fans. I think the demographic overall loves anything risque. Thumbs down to the PG label overall.
S00 GLAD THEY M0VED AWAY FR0M THE PG LABEL EVEN iF iTS F0R 0NE NiGHT. i WAS WATCHiNG WWE WHEN i WAS Y0UNGER AND i WAS FiNE L0L. MUCH M0RE ENTERTAiNiNG! L0VED THE ATTiTUDE ERA AND i THiNK EVERY0NE W0ULD AGREE WiTH THAT! BUT MAYBE THEYRE TRYiNG T0 SWiTCH iT UP SiNCE TNA iS M0ViNG T0 M0NDAYS!
For the male wrestling WWE definately needs to drop the PG rating. But for the Divas, loosing the PG rating would be a disaster. It would mean they will go back to the T&A, lingerie/nightgown matches. The Divas would only be used in edgy storylines where it’s all about their looks. Remember when Jazz, Jacqueline, Gail and Nida were released? They could’ve released the “models” but instead they released the wrestlers. WWE without a PG rating means Beth, Natalya, Serena, AJ, Gail and Katie will all be future endeavered.
The only thing I liked about that segment is how much fun Kelly seemed to be having with it. I’m usually not a big fan of Kelly (to say the least), but I thought she was cute and funny last night.
Still, I would have much rather seen a match, or at least a promo about the Diva’s title.
that segment would’ve been great if it was during the attitude era, unfortunately (or not?) we’re past all of that. for what it’s worth, i actually found the whole thing pretty funny, yet totally embarrassing at the same time.. kelly did semi-ruin it though with her terrible acting.
something you didn’t mention, that i was impressed with, was gail kim during the whole bret-hart-almost-amputated-by-woman-driver thing. it wasn’t truly her segment, but she defnitely helped make it better.
as for the “food for thought” damn.. it’s a tricky one. i look at tna and they seem to do pretty good most weeks without the risqué stuff, but i know that wwe don’t really care unless it is about that. i feel like a terrible wrestling fan saying it, but the odd bra and panties match on raw wouldn’t bother me TOO much as long as we also got actual and better storylines, as well as lengthy and decent matches inbetween.
As for the rating issue, I would love to see the WWE move away from the PG label. I became a fan during the Attitude Era, and I really miss how entertaining all of that was. Trish, Lita, Chyna, Molly, etc all debuted and made their mark during those years. It would probably mean sitting through some bra and panties matches, but it could also mean a more consistant focus on the Divas.
Then again, I’m probably just engaging in some hardcore wishfull thinking ; )
So what is the mystery here? Gail will loose come Sunday and Maryse will win. The match might get four minutes, five minutes maybe even ten minutes, but Gail Kim will be carrying most of it to make Marsye look competent and decent, and then Gail will loose with Marys’s one perfected move, and Gail Kim will move to the back of the Diva pack once again … wake me when it is over and Ms. Kim is doing anything meaningful with WWE … bet I am in for a very long nap.
they are def not moving away from the PG era for one main reason, Linda McMahon’s senate race.
They are bashing her for stuff that happened 10 years ago during the attitude era, so there is no way they would do that stuff now.
Just for the record your last line was just brilliant!
As for the actual .. um match .. *shakes head in dissapointment*
I love how Kelly managed to keep a big fat smile on her face the whole time she was being portrayed as a whore. Guess it’s no big news to her aye?
I don’t manage to see logic ANYWHERE in these bookings.
YOU HAVE A TITLE MATCH THIS SUNDAY.
The whole 2hours and they don’t even manage to put so much as a 10sec promo.
I don’t even watch RAW anymore I just wait till Diva-Dirt posts the match online.
Btw Eve gave me second hand embaressment tonight.
It’s funny how 2 or 3 years ago we depended on RAW and TNA for some good womens wrestling action. but now since RAW is more kid friendly than cartoon network and TNA is just a HOT CHAOTIC MESS. we depend on solely SMACKDOWN.
Hahahaha,lol,”Dream big,people!”.Priceless!
The segment was decently funny,and I love it when the Bella’s are on the mic.I loved how Nikki said,”Brie is a maaan!”,lmao.
Eve was just hurtful to watch.
Kelly…..was Kelly.Her inciped smile throughout the whole thing just made me crack up.
Thank God I didn’t watch RAW live last night waiting for my weekly Maryse fix. I would have been pissed to have sat through that garbage and not even got at least a 30 second promo, hell anything, to build the PPV match.
I couldn’t sit through that Springer bit. I had to skip most of it, but from what I saw, Kelly’s now legendary uncontrollable laughter was the only redeeming thing about it, that cracks me up everytime, at least it made sense in this segment though lol. Eve’s “you gon’ pay for stealing my man bitch!” shtick was particularly cringeworthy.
WWE sees the Divas as a 2 minute filler for wrestlers like HHH , Micheals , Cena etc to get ready for their match or a 15 minute segment…I mean seriously this segment was I agree funny but it also was a waste of time. I mean come all 10 minutes and 33 seconds could have been a divas segment. smh…Its true though soley some of us always depeneded on TNA for the better action but now that it looks like its going down. Smackdown is the only brand that still has hope for us diva fans
I’m very disappointed with these weeks Raw, But i just hope after the Elimination Chamber match that things start to pick up from there since its a straight runway to WrestleMania after the Championship match this Sunday.
Mikas is absolutely right. Losing the PG rating would be a step down for the women, but not for the guys. Double standard right there. I’d rather they keep the PG so we don’t go back to mud matches, food fights, evening gown matches and playboy pillow fights. Ugh.
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i think it wasnt bad,
yes i wanted a match but hey this was great.
i think all divas Alicia, Gail, Bellas, Eve and Kelly got to work on the mic skills
well alicia not so much hey, i mean when was the last time you heard anyone of them talk? esp kelly kelly eve and alicia. I think they will slowly get better on the mic :]
cause… BRIE IS A MAN!!! :’D
I keep trying to figure which moment will equate to the “Fingerpoke of Doom”, or have we already passed that point yet?
@Mikas – Agreed, most definitely!
I believed Kelly when she said she was pregnant.. But after it became clear it was a joke I knew Hornswoggle would end up being the dad.
“Brie is a man” made me lol though and oops sry for posting twice
i thought kelly kelly was great here she really made me laugh! and santino of course, he is ace at these segments :D JERRY JERRY JERRY
I’d love to see the WWE go more risque again; some of their best days were in the Attitude Era! The PG rating means that so much is off limits. If that means we return to pudding matches, however, then perhaps it’s not for the best…
The segment wasn’t really that funny tbh, however I did like Nikki claiming that Brie was a man. The divas are great on the mic, but I was most surprised by the Bellas. They may not be the best wrestlers, but they have good comic timing; I’d like to see them become managers for someone.
The booking was bad starting with Melinas return. She had just had a long stale push and they put the belt back on her in the most illogical way possible. Then had some really messy matches with Jillian.
Then its been nothing but delaying the inevitable Maryse win for the last few months if for no other reason than they have a burning desire to have a hot heel.
The Royal Rumble divas match was a minute throwaway so its not much better on there other than Michelle having the stroke to give the brand a coninuted diva angle, which when it comes down to it is for no other reason than to beneift her selfish self.
As for the match Sunday, I’m not sure what people really expect. Gail really isn’t much over and creative isnt going to spend too much time trying to build her esp when its obvious Maryse will win.
I thought the Springer thing was funny and good for what it was and I like to see the girls get more mic time.
the bit WAS funny….but they could’ve slipped in the title match/toruney during the mayhem but…they could’ve created an Austin/Tyson/Mcmahon moment of cool mayhem
How can anyone be so stupid, you have two woman who are meant to have a big title match on Sunday and the writers put absolutely no effort in to make any form of build up apart from a Superstars match. This is absolutely pathetic.
In regards to the Jerry Springer segment, I thought it was silly, I laughed at the Brie being a man though. Eve and Kelly kinda failed with their acting abilities in this.
One word for ya….. stupid….
Um, this segment actually made me have a great time. To be honest.
WWE have shot themselves in the foot! Either Kelly has to be a part of a pregnancy angle or have an ABORTION! What a way to keep it PG WWE!
P.S. WHY does the WWE not like Gail Kim? This is perhaps her biggest storyline on Raw ever and this is what we get 6 days before a PPV!
Well I personally thought that the segment was all for fun and yeah a little stupid. Kelly’s bad acting kind of ruined the whole thing, Santino, The Bella Twins & Eve did great, and the rest were just okay. The “Brie is a Man” part really made me laugh, but for most of it i was just letting out a laugh or two.
When it comes right down to it, I think this shouldn’t have happened. Mainly because they gave no build-up for EC. All in all this was a stupid-funny segment that could’ve easily been replaced with a build-up for the divas.
As lame as this was, I couldn’t help but crack up!
Sure the segment was another one of Raw’s ‘funny bits’ but I think that It was pretty hilariout. Who doesn’t love a good Jerry Springer?
Now, the part that frustrates me is that there was no build-up for Elimination Chamber. They could’ve at least had the decency to have a backstage segment or a tag match? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see whats in store.
Excuse me, I meant to say hilarious in Paragraph 2.