What’s is in a name? Does it define who and what we are? What we mean to people? Or what we mean to ourselves? In some cases I think so… Krissy Vaine was a character that I conjured up in my imagination about eight years ago. She’s been to a lot of places and done a lot of things. She has been a WWE Diva (for a hot second) and spent many hours on the road working the independent circuit. She has made friends and enemies. She has seen the good, the bad and the ugly (and has been ugly herself) of the wrestling world and still managed to come out alive, yet different if that makes sense? All of these experiences must have an effect and change a person, right? I hope so. Otherwise what has all this been for? Krissy Vaine, eight years ago and Mrs. Vaine of the present are two completely different people. I’m now older, wiser and much, much more patient. All of the ups and downs and the crazy rollercoaster was for the better good of my growth — at least that’s how I’ve come to look at it. Slowly but surely, I’ve begun to resonate less and less with ‘Krissy VAINNNNE’. After 29 years, I believe that I’m actually comfortable with looking in the mirror and saying, “Hello Kristin, how the heck are ya? Glad to have ya back.”
Krissy Vaine was a mask. A facade to cover up the fact that on the inside, Kristin was a real hot mess. Krissy Vaine had confidence, while Kristin did not. Krissy Vaine had many people who loved her, while Kristin did not, Vaine knew who she was and Kristin did not have a clue… I knew who and what I wanted to be, but I was far from attaining it. The thing about masks and facades is that they only last for so long. You can only attempt to be something you are not for a certain period of time before it’s so hard on your soul that you snap. I fortunately got to snap in front of the whole world… Yay me! Haha. Something else that began to happen was that I really started to believe I was the ‘fake replica’ that I had conjured up of myself and I became that monster. I was lost and needed to find myself again. And with a quickness.
If not, the gremlins were gonna have me for breakfast! This was the hardest thing to break free from, for me. To separate from the persona. But I have been/am determined to keep doing it. I don’t want to be Krissy Vaine anymore. Vaine, ala the name, only cared about herself. Was only affected by what what she looked like, what happened to her and certainly didn’t care about others. I do however care about others and I’d like to impact the world if only in the smallest of ways.
I would compare the last few years of my life to that of a butterfly. I have been in my cocoon, learning, studying and dropping all that which no longer serves my purpose. It’s important to get rid of any excess baggage whether it be family, friends etc. that can impair your growth. Though not easy, in the long run, it’s worth it. Energy vampires, as I like to call them, prey on those they can take, take, take from. Possibly even wolves in sheeps’ clothing — so be careful! I can’t tell you how nice my days are now, to not be bothered with useless nonsense. The last few years have been cleansing, rejuvenating and idle at times. Boring even, but I knew that one day I would be ready to leave the nest. I’m ready to drop the last bit of the old me and emerge better and stronger than ever before. I’m standing on the mountain I’ve built for myself. Ready to spread my wings and fly.
Letting go of Krissy Vaine won’t be easy, but I believe it’s the last step in this chapter of the journey. Vaine has alot of baggage, cords and unneeded scrap metal in her arsenal. KRISTIN ASTARA is a fresh start… a new beginning. One filled with light, a path of illumination and knowingness — not darkness. Astara reaches for the stars with integrity and vigor and believes she deserves what falls at her feet, but what doesn’t, must not have meant to be. I hope that the death of Krissy Vaine and the birth of Kristin Astara is as exciting to all of you as it is to me.
Until next time,
Kristin
Well, this has been the last edition of Vainety Fair as Krissy Vaine is put to rest. Do you have a name suggestion for Kristin Astara’s new column here at Diva Dirt? Leave your ideas in the comments.
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27 Comments
My poor username xD I will have to make a new profile now!
I wondered what was up when I saw Kristin’s twitter name last night but now I know and it’s a change that I fully support after reading the last vainety fair. I love the new name as it has a ring to it just like Krissy Vaine did and I’m glad Kristin Astara has been unveiled. As far as column names, I’m pretty bad at naming, but maybe Kristin Astara’s Guide to Stardom? =(
Melanie Reply:
March 13th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
KrissyVaineLurver — You can change your nickname in your profile and then select it as your display name from the dropdown menu below it.
Your real name has a great ring to it and I think as long as it doesn’t mean your wrestling career is over for good, then it’s an awesome step in the right direction.
Great article btw, you always use brilliant imagery in your articles, I like reading them.
Might seem sort of cliched but I have an idea for your new article Kristin. How about Kristin Astara’s Star Gazing. Ok it might make you seem like an astrologist, yet you talk alot about the present in your columns, yet you also talk about the future and look at your future, so that why I thought it worked. Hope that helps. :)
problem with the username solved =D
Thanks Melanie =D
Just realised Astara is another new persona and not your real name, so I guess this new you if you will is definetly a good thing and will bring out your good qualities and not be an end to wrestling, which I for assumed for some reason it could be. Looking forward to the first episode of the Kristin Astara Project. :)
Thanks for sharing this with us first Kristin. This was quite possibly the most insightful thing you’ve said or wrote here at DD. So deep. Now is Astara with all long “a’s”?
As for the new column name, I like the star part like others and the imagery of illumination works for me, so something like Starlight Illuminary perhaps?
*oops, I meant short “a’s”
it’ll take a little time to get used to, but go you!
i legally changed my name via deed poll a couple years ago. which was wierd at first as my “new” last name is basically a form of transport with two wheels lol. but it is totally like a rebirth, you feel so free. almost self-made, if that makes sense any.
good luck with it :)
Goodbye Krissy, hello Kristin. I’m sure that Kristin has grown enough now to not need the mask because she is beautiful being herself. Once again this was an amazingly inspirational blog/column. It really meant something to me. I changed my name from Beatrice (ergh) to Bridget-Nicole and with the name change came a new attitude. Although I havent legally changed it yet I plan to. Right now I live two lives, Bridget’s and Beatrice’s and the problem is I have trouble diffientriating (sorry for the terrible spelling!) Everything about my two sides are completely diifferent but reading your blog has opened my eyes and really made me think about having the confidence in myself to be one person, to be me. Who I truley am and who I really want to be. Maybe it’s just time for a bit of spring cleaning of my life.
I love you Kristin and hope everything works out well as the new Kristin Astara (Beautiful name btw.)
As for name ideas hows about., Kristin’s corner? or The next chapter or the open door? or Astara’s auras? I dunno I’m not awful creative.
This was a really good article, mind you they usually are anyway, I’m just wondering will the KVP be getting renamed or will it simply become the Kristian Aura Project? I guess then Astara’s (A Star is) Born…hey? Yeah bad I know, but I can get away with it given the context. I can try and come up with some names, it’s harder given the star theme to be original.
Kristin Astara’s Starlight?
Kristin Astara’s Star Route?
The Special K (I know it references an old ring name, but could still apply here)
Astara’s Lair (Just born from Vainety’s Fair)
I don’t usually comment much, but when I have the time, I do sit and read your “Vainety Fair” columns. Which have always been a joy to read, for the simple fact that you don’t try to sugar coat your trials and tribulations and it comes across as very honest, real, and relatable. (Which as a reader I very much appreciate) Gonna miss me some Vaine though. However, change is good. We all can use a fresh new coat a paint on the inside as well as the out, at some point in our lives. So with that said good for you Kristin, I’m likin’ the new paint job!
P.S. As regards to a new name for your column, I was originally gonna say “Astara Is Born” but that sounds more like a starting one time title not something for a weekly column. So I came up with these two choices.
Kristin Astara’s Star-Crossed Lyrical
or
Kristin Astara’s Starry-Eyed Lyrical
I especially like the word Lyrical cause the meaning seems to embody what it is you do with your columns which as a raw definition is. Expressing deep personal emotion or observations.
Haha, great column! I like the new name :)
Moving on to your new column…..hmmmm.I love naming things.How bout’
1.Astara Signs
2.Kristen’s Korner
3.Kristen’s Kolumn
4.Astaralogical
5.A-Staring Kristen!
6.Kristen Astaras in Diva Dirt (?)
This was actually kind of beautiful…it’s lovely and encouraging to read that other people do go through this too :)
Kristin, I absolutely love reading your articles, and they have been very inspirational to me in a time right now when I truly need it. I thank you.
I am happy for you that you are able to move away from what you were and are able to be going toward what you want to be. It is hard to do sometimes, but you are accomplishing it.
The new name is beautiful, by the way.
Wow!
I would’ve never figured that Krissy Vaine would die…
But, I think Kristen Astara is a beautiful name. It sound’s absolutely wonderful! And so is your articles, They’re very interesting and it keeps you wanting more!
Keep up the good work ‘Kirsten’!
-Dameon
Hey luv!!
So excited to see you reveal the new name!! See, everyone’s rooting for you.
Just as Krissy Vaine grew (even though the adult form was not the real you), Kristin Astara will grow and learn SO much through new experiences. A tough road lies ahead for Kristin Astara, just as it did for Krissy Vaine. The difference? … Kristin Astara has ALL the knowledge, pain, joy, failure, and success of Krissy Vaine. However, Kristin Astara has the patience and the wisdom needed to channel all these things that Krissy Vaine never could into a blinding light that illuminates ALL in her path, revealing every hidden crack, every hidden step, every hidden door, every hidden smirk, and every hidden agenda. Now, don’t get it twisted luv! This does NOT mean that Kristin Astara’s road will be any easier to travel on than Krissy Vaine’s road was. It only means that Kristin Astara will walk forward gracefully with her head held high exhibiting a new pride incomparable to Krissy Vaine’s pride, and with a new authority (pep) in her step incomparable to Krissy Vaine’s authoritative (or sometimes misathoritative) steps. Just know that everyone here at Diva Dirt, your followers on Twitter, your friends on Myspace, your comrades old and new are watching and waiting for that newly hatched butterfly to soar to new heights and distances that before were only dreamed of. Go forth luv and discover Kristin Astara’s knowledge, pain, joy, failure, and success so that we can all fly right beside you!
You know I love you girl!!
xoxo
Minicaky;)
my suggestion…
A Stara is born…
As far as new names, how about these:
The Voice of Astara
[Kristin]Astara’s Guiding Light
Rising Tower of Astara or Tower of Astara: Underconstruction
Kristin Astara’s First Steps (hehe! So cute, but probably not a good name!)
Maybe the first one for the audio show and the second for the column. (or vv)
I’ve got tons more ideas if you want!!
Yay!! I’m so excited!! Can’t wait to see what’s next!
How about Kirstin’s Corner? AstaraVoid or even Behind the Southern Belle?
How about “Tales of a Southern Belle” or “Shooting Astara” or “Rising Astara”?
Nice read, I’m getting use to your name change but anyways i like how you described it as taking off the mask.
The things you have written about in this have been what I’ve been realizing and doing in my life. Inspiring.
At first I thought this was going to be your last column ever (which made me sad), but I’m glad to see it’s not. This was my fave one yet. I am going to miss Krissy Vaine. I hope we get to see Kristin Astara in the ring some time soon. x
Kristin Astara’s Astroreality
Yes, “astroreality” doesn’t seem like it works and isn’t even a real word (not yet anyways :) ), but “astro” does mean “star”.
Kristin Astara’s Astrosophy
Yet another word that doesn’t look to make sense. This time “sophy” means “wisdom”.
i’m blessed to be a member of the diva dirt community- otherwise i wouldn’t have even known about your column. very inspiring words for anybody trying to learn true self acceptance!!
as for a new name for your column, i’ll throw a play on words out there… ASTARA’S BORN!!
I love it- KRISTIN ASTARA shines!