Tuesday, June 22, 2021

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Impact Write-Up (May 3rd, 2010): TNA Should Cleanse Their Booking Staff, One Ugly Person At A Time

When it comes to TNA, they always drop the ball when it comes to the live shows so imagine my surprise and shock when they exceeded even my low expectations this week. Announced over the weekend, was a title match where all three titles were on the line; The Beautiful People defending against Tara, Taylor Wilde, and Sarita. It sounds good on paper (sort of…) but it was an actual hot mess on television. The MIA tag team known as Saritaylor were mere stand-ins tonight and TNA’s weird booking once again came into play. If you want to watch the mess unfold, go ahead and click the video. If you don’t, then I don’t blame you. I want to forget Impact was even on television last night.

Even though it was a crappy night for the Knockouts as a whole, it was a decent night for the Beautiful People. Earlier in the show, Madison Rayne, Velvet Sky, and Lacey Von Erich were seen backstage in their lockerroom. All three girls were either sitting or standing at their vanity table and they were messing with their make-up and just generally looking at themselves in the mirror. They were having a conversation about how hard it was to be a champion and Lacey starts talking about how her back is always killing her. She goes on to say that things aren’t so bad during the day but when she wakes up after a good night’s sleep she is basically in a world of hurt. Velvet gives her a look and politely tells her she’s not supposed to wear the title to bed. Lacey is like “I thought we weren’t supposed to take them off” and the other two girls just groan. Madison is a little annoyed that they’re being forced to defend the belts again but Velvet calms her down and states what we all know to be true: the BP are the entire Knockouts division. Velvet goes on to say that no one is a threat to them and this and that, and the segment ends with Lacey triumphantly announcing that they weren’t supposed to take the belts off and that she knew that all along.

Tara and Saritaylor are in the ring as the Beautiful People begin to make their way down the entrance ramp. I’m not going to bore you with the details of their entrance but it’s certainly sparkly this week. Tenay and Taz run down the rules for the match and when the bell rings, Tara decides she’s going to begin the match for her team. She tries to tell this to Sarita and Taylor, and when they don’t seem to get it, she demonstrates by shoving Taylor rather stiffly a few times to get her out of the ring. Taylor is like whatever and does what she’s told and Tara turns her back. Lacey is waiting for her and she’s looking pumped to start this match. The sultry blonde is decked in silver and black, and she’s ready for action. Lacey begins to dance around in the ring much to the chagrin of Tara, and Tara finally kicks her, doubling Von Erich over in pain. She slams Lacey down, rolls over her for a pin, but changes her mind and goes for a front guillotine choke instead. Tara shoots dirty looks over her shoulder at her partners while the referee tries to get her to let up on Lacey. Finally she spits at Taylor and Sarita, which is pretty unsanitary, and she picks Lacey up.

Using Lacey’s neck as a hand hold, Tara bullies the less experienced girl against the ropes and whips her across them. Lacey ducks a clothesline attempt and comes back at Tara with a very nice Streetfighter like roundhouse kick that would totally make Ryu proud. Lacey is so pleased with herself and she dances around in celebration while the other two BP smile happily on the outside. Tara is flustered now because Lacey got the better of her so she tags in Sarita, even if it’s a bit reluctant. Sarita gets in and goes for Lacey, but Lacey’s not having that and tags in Velvet. While that’s going on, Sarita has gotten distracted by Tara, who I suppose is shouting at her. It gives Velvet the perfect opening and she takes Sarita down from behind. She starts stomping away on the grounded highflyer, then picks her up and tosses her in the corner. Sarita finds herself thrown into the opposite corner next, and Velvet comes at her like a freight train. Sarita is able to get the boots up and Velvet lands flat on her back. Sarita busts out the flash just to throw Velvet up in the air and slam her face first into the mat. She goes for the cover but the tag champ gets out after two.

Sarita hurries to her corner and makes the tag to Taylor. They pull off a cute double team move which sees Sarita flip Taylor onto Velvet, and Taylor goes for another cover. Velvet is able to kick out of that as well. Taylor gets Velvet up and in position for a finishing like move, but Tara starts screaming at her, which distracts Taylor. Velvet takes advantage and starts fighting out of the hold. She gets to her corner and makes the tag to Madison. Madison comes in and is met with a rough looking German suplex. Taylor heads to her a corner for a tag and it looks like she’s favoring Sarita. Tara is bitching her out and demanding that Taylor tag her in but Taylor goes for Sarita anyway. It doesn’t matter to Tara. She steals the tag, gets in the ring, and everyone suddenly starts to PMS. Sarita slaps the crap out of Tara’s back not once, but twice. It’s an official tag and Tara is none to thrilled about it. The referee says it’s legit so what does Tara do? She turns around and knocks the hell out of Sarita, sending her off the apron. Taylor storms into the ring and mans up to Tara, and the two women have a little heated exchange. Of course Taylor turns her back and yes, Tara attacks her.

Tara goes to the outside to punish Taylor and Sarita comes running back into the ring. Lacey and Velvet are there to greet her and Sarita gets hit with a horrible looking DDT. I swear they crushed her neck, head, and everything in between with that move and ugh. Just ugh. Madison, who is the legal woman, goes in for the cover and the Beautiful People sneak out yet another win. Tara is completely furious and the Beautiful People celebrate their victory by using their title belts as a mirror to check their make-up. Tara starts playing the blame game and we’ve just been subjected to one of the worst Knockout segments ever.

Oh yeah, there is a backstage promo too. Basically what happens is a match gets made for the next pay-per-view; Tara’s career against Madison’s championship. At least that’s different.

The Good
: What was good about Impact tonight? I seriously have to dig deep for this one. I was more into dreaming up faux storylines for Teddy Jr. and myself over on Raw. Can you just imagine how awesome I would be as his “Virgil”? No one ever said Virgil had to be a man and if I were a valet, I would be as deadly as they come. He would never lose a match on my watch. See how off topic that is? TNA went from having a hit last week to having a nasty little strike out this week and it’s so unfair to the girls. I don’t want this Write-Up to be all gloom and doom so lets just move on. Tara’s new hair style looked really good. Less red works for me and it totally works for her. At least she looked great tonight.

Taylor and Sarita were back. It’s always nice to see them on the actual show. I wish I could sit here and write more about their return but it was basically nothing more than a sideshow. They were just used as background characters for Tara, and to a certain extent, the Beautiful People were just background too. The whole match/segment was built around Tara. Nonetheless, fresh faces are always welcome/needed and this week was no exception. I hope we get to see more Sarita and Taylor in the upcoming weeks because if we’re all being honest, they’re the only two girls left on the roster who can challenge The Beautiful People for the tag belts at this moment in time.

Lacey got to show off some personality tonight. She was allowed to dance around in the ring, take a few bumps, and even got to be part of the finish. I wasn’t really liking how she and Velvet worked Sarita at the end. It was a little scary to me. I was totally concerned about Sarita’s health but at the time of this writing nothing has been reported so I reckon she’s okay. Even though it’s not really saying much, Lacey had one of the better showings of the night. She certainly looked the best out of everyone. The silver disco ball outfit was light years better than the gold one Velvet was wearing and I have no clue what Madison had on. The girls need to chill on the body glitter though. It blinded me more than Sheamus ever has and with Spike TV now in HD… sheesh.

From a kayfabe perspective, the back stage segment was pretty good. A Title versus Career match for the Knockouts is a great way to showcase them on the pay-per-view. I stand by preferring Angelina to Madison in this match, but shit happens and Madison is set up for what we feel is going to be a huge rub. I still think this match is going to end in some cheap way but you never know, I guess. I am excited for the match. This will be Madison’s first pay-per-view title defense and it’s a golden opportunity for someone who has been nothing but a workhorse for TNA since she debuted. I think I said this on the post show, the match will either be brilliant or an epic fail. So flip a coin. At least we’re getting two girls who can work and tell a story together inside the ring.

The Bad: You knew it was coming and honestly most things things that were good, were also bad. The backstage segment was so predictable for those of us who follow the Knockouts on great internet sites such as Diva-Dirt.com. Tara is leaving TNA at the end of the month so putting her career on the line didn’t shock me. I have to use my favorite saying here: “It is what it is.” Because really, what else can I say? I’m going to wait and see how they build this up in the last two weeks or so they have left. It deserves a huge build and Tara deserves a huge send-off. I really hope TNA delivers on this.

The match itself was a waste of time. I think this could have worked better had they thrown the match out and went with a segment instead. I’m not saying the girls shouldn’t have gotten in the ring. But as crappy as the booking has been on TNA as of late, this would have worked better if they played it like the match was getting thrown out. It was perfectly clear that Tara didn’t want to work with Saritaylor and instead of wasting time with an ineffective match, they could have had Tara arguing with Sarita and Taylor before the match even began and perhaps it could have led to a brawl between the three. The Beautiful People could have enjoyed watching their opposition beat down on each other and simply left the ring with all their titles. I don’t know, but anything would have been better than what we watched tonight. I wasn’t expecting the live show to go smoothly and despite my low expectations, I was still disappointed.

Taylor and Sarita haven’t been seen for months and they basically were used as jobber fodder tonight. These girls are two of the most talented people on the roster and they deserve a little better than what TNA is giving them. I know not everyone can get a push but how about showing them a little respect? Taylor is a former Knockouts and Tag Team Champion, and Sarita is not only hot, but she was Taylor’s partner when Taylor had the tag titles. These girls are both former champions but you’d never know it with TNA’s sparse use of them. They’re rarely spoken about by the commentary team as well. If Angelina and Daffney weren’t injured, then Taylor and Sarita more than likely wouldn’t have been on television this week either. I guess I should probably just shut up and be thankful we were all blessed with them this week, eh?

The Ugly: TNA’s booking continues to be crappy. This was a title match and Tara was basically booked to lose it for her team. She’s supposed to be all obsessed with getting the championship back but she completely blew it for her team by deciding to hate on Taylor and Sarita, who just wanted to help her. Tara is a heel, we know that. But last time I checked, Saritaylor were faces so….

I just don’t get what goes on in the heads of TNA bookers/writers/whatever. Consistency is not a hard thing. I keep my Write-Up consistent on a weekly basis. It’s always negative thanks to the crap I’m forced to stomach. My heart just breaks for the Knockouts because they deserve so much better. When Scott D’Amore left, the division was left to die. In my opinion, it doesn’t seem like anyone but the girls themselves care about the division and the titles. I tip my hat to the fact they go out there every week and try. Lord knows they’re not given much to work with. But they put their hearts and souls into performing for the fans and I hope someone over at TNA appreciates what they do. They’re the ratings for the company along with people like Jay Lethal, MCMG, AJ Styles, Desmonde Wolfe, ect. People don’t tune into TNA to watch Ric Flair versus Hulk Hogan, or whatever. They want to see young talent, hot girls who can wrestle, and just good storytelling.

We’re not getting the storytelling aspect with the Knockouts, not right now anyway. Tonight was just proof that the company has no clue what it’s doing. TNA was so much better before Hogan and Bischoff came along, and this is coming from someone who is actually an Eric Bischoff fan. The Knockouts flourished then and when I see what I saw tonight, and I think about the glory days, I just cringe. Can someone please tell me why Tara basically cost her team the match tonight and then got so upset that they lost? It was her fault, so she had no reason to freak the way she did. What would have made more sense is if she beat up on Saritaylor, cost her team the match, then laughed about it because she didn’t want to share the glory with the two other girls. That would have been a good heel move. That would have made sense. Challenging Madison to a title match would have made sense. But ya know, it’s TNA.

They should start cleansing their booking staff and management team, one ugly person at a time!

Also, I now have a Twitter if anyone cares. Follow me so I can talk to someone other than WWE stars who never reply; CRYSSIROCKS is the name!

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