Sunday, September 20, 2020

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Tough Enough Redux (Episode 4): Goodbye Miss USA, Hello Christina’s Voicebox

My dear Tough Enough brethren… and er, sisteren, apologies for the late Redux this week. A little thing called the WWE Draft happened and sent us into an orbital spin from which we have only just recovered. Well, that and I spent the past 24 hours weeping in bed that our adorable, sassy, minxy little Miss USA has been shown the door on Tough Enough. Ahem, enough about that…

Let’s catch up on this week’s TE!

After surviving elimination for yet another week, Rima arrives at the house where she’s greeted by a strange and mysterious figure. Who is this Christina and what has she done with the mute? In her confessional, Christina says that Ryan (Skidmarks, to you and I) should have confidence or people will walk all over you. So not only is she utterly adorable, but she’s wise beyond her years too!

It’s close to midnight and Rima heads off to meet Bill DeMott in the middle of the night for a secret liaison. Okay, so technically that isn’t exactly what happened, but it’s my Redux and I can write whatever I want. Rima enters the gym, her eyes lustful, longing for Bill’s big… Hey now! Get your mind out of the gutter. I was going to say punchbag. Rima, as seen last week, has booked some one-on-one training with Sir DeMott who has her roll over bag. He said over it, Rima! Over! Oy vey…

Well, since that isn’t going so great how about a montage of Rima taking bumps set to funky techno music? Sure! Schoolboys, back-bumps and body-slams are all crammed in as our Miss USA feels the toll of Bill’s force. It’s her time now, as she attempts a schoolboy on Bill and let’s just say what happens next makes us tear up a little. “Rima Fakih: 1985-2011. Death by Bill DeMott’s ass.” Thankfully, that doesn’t happen but boy, wouldn’t that be a way to go?

Rima, coming to the realisation that this is harder than it looks, is in tears in the middle of the ring — but still she doesn’t give up! “I don’t want to quit. I’m stubborn,” she says. Say what you will about her but you have to admire her tenacity. Miss USA fights back the tears in her video confessional, barely able to put together her sentences. I think I need a tissue too. When you cry, I cry :(

Following a motivational speech from Hall of Famer, Bret Hart — complete with censoring on the words ‘wrestler’ and ‘wrestling’ (so offensive aren’t they?!) — it’s time for a physical challenge. The contestants must jump in and out of the ring in the corner in a test of their agility. How I don’t envy you… Ivelisse, who’s been wrestling for years, is unable to do it gracefully and receives some coaching from Trainer Trish. Move like a swan, Ivelisse~ (Just don’t stab Christina, Natalie Portman-style). Rima isn’t much better and gets dismissed by Bill. Well, there’s no shame in trying. (Yes, there is). Next up is Christina and she hits it perfectly: legs together, precise and swift. Go girl! Rewarded for her efforts, Christina is allowed to speak again.

It’s time for our weekly ‘This has nothing to do with wrestling OMGWTF’ segment of the week. This week the contestants are strapped with roller-skates to further their agility training. The roller-skates I get, but why are the girls fitted out in skirts so tiny that you can see their underwear? … I think I answered my own question. TE producers = pervs.

Hey Rima, if this wrestling thing doesn’t work out, you definitely have a career in waitressing. So friendly! You know, that or as a, um… stripper. Nice table-top dancing skills!

Dear Tough Enough, didn’t we have an agreement in place last week that Jeremiah would never speak again? Stop breaking your promise PLEASE :(

Next up is this week’s skills challenge, a chain of moves with the trainers cutting those who underperform. Rima, seemingly with her head out of the game, is unable to hit her moves. Showing signs of exhaustion, she begins working slower in the ring until she’s cut. Christina and AJ ad-lib in their exchange and end up getting cut, which means Ivelisse is once again the last girl standing. She, too, is cut after being unable to leapfrog Skidmarks. It’s the effort that counts. (No it’s not).

It’s time to deliberate this week’s cut, with all of the trainers unanimous that Rima — aka the ‘110lbs elephant in the room’ — isn’t impressing. “Bottom line is, she’s just not an athlete,” says Trainer Trish. Uh oh…

Instead of announcing a bottom three, Stone Cold cuts Rima saying he doesn’t think she’s ready. *Tears*

Rima gets a pretty nice exit with the other contestants as well as the trainers complimenting her efforts. Trish says she shattered the stereotype of what a beauty queen is and that Rima reminded her of herself when she came into the business.

And so our Miss Ghetto/Late USA is gone :( We are in mourning.

On the whole, this was the best episode of TE since the premiere. Good to see some more focus on Christina and now with just her and Ivelisse left, no doubt we’ll be seeing more of both of them. Christina impressed this week, not only with her personality, but her agility skills in the ring.

I’m so sad that Rima is gone, I definitely grew to love her. Her drive to continue on in the competition was pretty inspiring. This is a girl who many expected to fail, not try and give up — she never gave up and in the end, it took the trainers physically booting her out of the competition to make her stop. Hopefully if she still wants a future in wrestling, she will have one. WWE would be fools not to pick her up if that is what she really wanted. Good luck to her!

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