So last week, the Impact Wrestling Knockouts took a little vacation to Crazy Cove and ended up leaving us all scratching our heads. We saw blood trickle from the lips of an evil genius and her monster creation forced the enemy to pay dearly for the mistake. There was also that little trip to Psycho Pasture where someone needs a definite dose of estrogen injections to calm down that menopause. This week, the crazies are back and in full force. From a balls to the wall brawl to a singles match that isn’t so one-on-one. Not to mention, a little surprise at the end that has the peasants of the mountain rejoicing in the fields. As always, it is bound to be an interesting show for Impact Wrestling so stop sitting around here, reading this mess. Get to the good stuff!
Before the show can even officially start off, the cameras are centered backstage and as you would have guessed, someone is fighting. ODB literally tries to start things off with a BAM!(you like it) by attempting to put Velvet Sky and her face through an equipment box. But, thankfully, Velvet bounces off and rolls to the floor. The words “whore”, “bitch” and “douche” are thrown around like candy at a Christmas parade. ODB slaps the backside of Velvet, who was apparently posing for a photoshoot for TNA photographer, Lee South. Even he got a taste when he tried to pull ODB back off Vel Vel, proving that chivalry is not dead. By the way, love your work. Sorry about your testicular region.
When ODB comes back for Velvet, she gets a kick to the stomach and slapped back around because we know that Velvet is feisty. She even goes so far as to spear the Dirty Bitch herself through the pretty pink paper backdrop. The photographer in me just cringed. This whole time, Velvet keeps asking her what’s wrong with her and I can only imagine what every psychiatrist is thinking. Dr. Phil would have a field day with ODB. I can see him questioning her motives for dumping the water bottle over Velvet’s head or why she felt the need to throw her against the wall then choke her against the floor. Then going on to dive in about why she’s throwing out big names she overheard on CNN at the sports bar and talking about chubbies.
This whole thing is coming off a bit like a scorned lover’s brawl, if you ask me.
Nonetheless, ODB drags Velvet out toward the Impact Zone, while a camera man runs from the other side. ODB slams Vel Vel into a table and muscles her around, slamming her head into the seating wall. Um. Ouch. She even throws out something that sounds like it is supposed to be “bikini shoot” but comes out sounding like she just stepped out of the Alaskan wilderness. Dontcha kno?! Anyway, Velvet, clad in only her underwear that is covered by a new Impact Wrestling shirt, ends up against the opposite wall. The Dirty Bitch goes to punch her but Vel Vel rolls away, causing her to punch the wall. I know that hurt.
But we all know that Velvet is full of fire and once she gets the upperhand, she’ll take it. She takes her attacker back against the table and slams her down, telling her she isn’t finished with her yet. Back across to the other wall and it looks like Velvet might actually get one up but ODB is bigger and stronger, so she comes back quicker. I’m not sorry to say it but ODB is not someone I would want to run into in a dark alley. I’d probably cut her with Cryssi’s knife. I should probably lend it to Velvet because that tailbone to the wall is definitely gonna put her down for awhile.
ODB, attempting to predict the future, points to a handicap sign and tells her victim that’s what she is going to look like when she’s done. But here comes security, who apparently had to eat a full course meal before getting out there. ODB puts up her hands and as soon as they take a breath, lands a hard kick to their manhood. Can you hit that high note now? Haha. Here’s my question, if ODB isn’t even employed, why is she allowed to just hang around?! So much for security. But whatever, she doesn’t care and neither does Velvet because she whips her around, slapping the hell out of her. A chest chop with a slam into the wall and Velvet screams in her face that she isn’t finished with her.
“Not by a mile…”
So she takes her to the barricade but gets held up herself, ass up and vulnerable for another slap. Insert a couple of bleeps and a couple more “whores” and you’ve got an episode of Jerry Springer. Vel Vel tries to fight back but ODB drags her around, groping herself and nailing Velvet with stiff shots. She rips Velvet’s shirt down the middle and throws her in the ring, stalking her. Velvet tries to kick her away but the Dirty Bitch strips her of her shirt and wraps it around her throat, choking the life out of her. What is with these crazy females and their obsession with choking?! Straddling her blonde victim, ODB tells her to kiss her ass, throws a forearm across her throat and counts a three on the mat.
“The bitch is back now! ….bitch.”
Meanwhile, she spits and gets out of the ring which, I guess, signals for Miss Tessmacher to finally make it to the ring. Where the hell was everyone for the good six minutes this was all going on? Velvet points at her throat and Tess unwraps the cotton, allowing her to breathe. She makes sure her glasses stay on her head and cradles a broken Velvet. I tell you what. If that was me….well, let’s just say that it is too violent for even this show.
skip to the 2:09 minute mark
Later in the show, we see Winter backstage, completely pissed off. She slaps her hand against the wall and turns her attention to a stonefaced Angelina Love. She starts ranting about what Mickie James did to her last week, drawing blood. She hurt her. She wanted to disfigure her and scar her for life. UNCONSCIONABLE! How many times have we heard her say that? I do believe it is her favorite word, even thought it seems like it is so painful to say. Winter goes on to tells Angelina that she has to defend her honor, she has to and it starts tonight with Tess….shhhhhh!
In a motion we haven’t seen lately, Angelina puts her finger to Winter’s lips and actually…..SPEAKS! Oh wow. I seriously choked on my drink. She says they must once again become royalty and be loved and cherished by the people. They need to go back to a happier time when it was just the two of them, no one standing between them. She is beginning to understand how Winter feels and tonight, she does this in her honor. Does what exactly? Are they going to hold hands and skip around the maypole?! Because I love ribbons and that would be awesome.
It is finally time for the Knockouts match of the evening. Honorable mention to Christy Hemme for being a fierce ring announcer and fashionista. I’m coming for that outfit. Out first is Miss Tessmacher and honestly, this is the first time I’ve actually listened to her theme song and I really like it. I can dig that. The former secretary comes out in a style only she can throw out, stripping off her clothes and showing off her ass..ets. I thought by now she would at least have a new color for her outfit but sadly, she doesn’t. Her opponent, the now speaking zombie, Angelina Love makes her way to the ring with Winter in tow. They stop on the stage and Winter caresses her minion’s face and they make their way to the ring, Angelina crawling in like the creature she has become. I do have to say that she is looking a little less crypt keeper this week.
The bell rings and the official tells Winter to get off the apron while Tessmacher comes behind Angelina, going for a quick roll-up. A fight out and another one but it is a no-go. However, Tess has fire in her and she goes for a side headlock, going for a takedown but Angelina isn’t having it. She stops it, not once but twice and takes Tess down with a shoulder block off the rebound. A gaze toward Winter and Angelina is slightly distracted, but her pain block is still intact. She doesn’t even budge when Tessmacher throws a forearm. A double hand choke turns into a toss across the ring, which leads to multiple hard right hands from Angelina. The official stays on her but all she can do is stare him down.
If looks could kill…..
A ring around(har har) and Tess gets a flying cross body on Angelina, going for another pin but she doesn’t even make it to two. Winter, always the distraction, provides just enough that Tessmacher gets knocked to the outside. Winter taunts Tessmacher while Angelina comes to the outside, throwing those stiff shots until the referee makes her get back in the ring. A quick shove into the ring from Winter and Tessmacher is down on the mat, getting picked up for two harsh sideslams. Shoulder blocks to the midsection against the turnbuckle and this official has his hands full. Angelina charges back in but Tess fights back, finally coming out of the corner, taking her opponent down with a pair of flying clotheslines. Oh, here we go. That little stripper dance victory roll….or so we thought.
Angelina scouts it and drops her back to the mat. The crowd starts the stomps while the New Zombie Hot drops Tessmacher back on both her knees, going for a sit down pin. She picks up the three count and another win, but Winter isn’t finished. That simple motion to snap another victim in half and Angelina moves likes a cat, locking Miss Tessmacher in that choke hold submission. The official does his best to break them apart but Winter clammers into the ring, yelling at him to get away. SHE’S MINE! Uh…whatever you say, Morticia. I’m pretty sure given Mickie’s past, she has some idea what Angelina is going through. Perhaps they should go to therapy sessions together? Either way, they’re going to fight at Slammiversary and it ain’t gonna be pretty.
And for those of you paying attention, Karen Jarrett finally fell down the castle stairwell this week with a little help from the King himself, Jeff. Let’s just say that I have a feeling we won’t be seeing much of Mama Jarrett for a while. You can check out the video below:
Thoughts: This show just keeps getting more insane by the week. ODB has officially gone batshit and well, so has Angelina. But hey, at least she’s speaking now, right? Every cloud has a silver lining. Aside from that highlight of the night, I definitely have to state again that I want Christy’s outfit. I’m coming for it. Get it ready. I’m wondering how this Angelina/Winter deal is going to finally unravel. Did you see the way Angelina was looking at Winter this week? Like she wants to slather her in barbecue sauce and stick her on the grill for dinner. Medium rare. Rather creepy, if you ask me.
As for ODB and Velvet, well…let’s just say that I really doubt Velvet can handle the Dirty Bitch on her own. I’m pretty sure she’s gonna need back up because ODB is a T-Rex. But Vel Vel has spunk so we shall see. Until next week, my lovies! xoxo
What did you guys think about this week’s Impact? Tell me about it!
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39 Comments
I love Velvet Sky. I really love the push she is getting as of late and I am so glad ODB is back but I have to say this feud is the exact same as Velvet’s feud with Sarita. Velvet will get her butt kicked for a few weeks and then have one match where she finally wins. lol I am glad Angelina finally spoke but I for one am getting kinda tired of this story line. It just seems to get sillier and sillier as it goes on.
I love the brawl of Velvet and ODB.The best womans brawl I have ever see.
That is why iMPACT (TNA) owns WWE!
Winter and Zombilina lol
The ODB and Velvet brawl? So. Fucking. Good. “No one ever asked me to pose in a thong!” and “How’s your ass gonna look in a photoshoot now?!” made, for me, the most entertaining angle this year. Ridiculous, God yes, but so much fun. And did ODB slap that poor bastard in the balls? Priceless.
Miss Tessmacher is growing on me. Not a great match but she definitely gave it her all. Good luck to her.
Piggie James Reply:
June 3rd, 2011 at 8:36 pm
The ‘poor bastard’ gets to photograph all the Knockouts lol.
adifferentsame Reply:
June 3rd, 2011 at 8:40 pm
Ha! ODB is playing her character spot on.
Very solid week again for the Knockouts. Don’t really know where they’re going with Ms.Tessmacher though. She comes out to help Velvet, and is also in the match against Angelina, but she isn’t in any feuds yet. I suppose they’re just slow building her though (while jobbing her at the same time lol).
I was actually a little freaked out when Angelina started talking lol. Her character is noticeably more animated now and less zombiefied. Seems like Winter’s ‘brainwashing’ is almost complete. Drink your drink Angelina!
Wow well i like Impact this week i loved the ODB and Velvet sky brawl but i HATE ODB so much but o well
I am starting to really like Miss T now i like her now but she totally missed Angelinas back breaker finisher. and Angelina spoke yes i loved it but i really hope it ends soon i really want TBP back together
number1AngelinaLovefan Reply:
June 3rd, 2011 at 8:47 pm
And i loved how the Knockouts match was 7min
Mikas Reply:
June 3rd, 2011 at 9:46 pm
Usually you count from bell to bell.
If you include entrances and postmatch segments EVERY Diva/Knockout match gets to 6+ mins ;-)
number1AngelinaLovefan Reply:
June 4th, 2011 at 12:30 am
O really well than nvm but it did seem like a long time which i liked
Piggie James Reply:
June 4th, 2011 at 6:17 am
Knockouts yes. Divas no. There’s been plenty of Diva segments ranging from 3 – 5 minutes. It was only Kharma’s appearances that were helping the Raw Divas get to 6 – 7.
I’m loving the brawl. It was so intense! I wonder what will Velvet do to ODB next week. Hopefully attack her from behind or something.
It’s cool that Angelina speaks. xD Can’t wait for more Impact Wrestling!
I will say this about the Velvet / ODB brawl at least Velvet was allowed to fight back this week. I think ODB’s reason for going after Velvet is dumb and there was no point of Tessmacher even coming out at the end. Where was she when ODB was beating Velvet up?! I think someone on creative must have a fetish about seeing Velvet get beat up and choked out because it happens to her way too much to be a coincidence.
Anyway It was good to see Angelina finally talk again. The match with Tessmacher was OK. The move Angelina used to finish the match I’ve never seen anyone do that before. The Winter / Angelina storyline keeps getting weirder but maybe it will have a decent payoff.
The Knockouts had a strong presence on the show so that was good. Great write up April.
overall, a really good week.
tessmacher seems to be improving in leaps and bounds, which is great. give it another six months or so and i can see her becoming a real threat to some of the more credible knockouts.
lovely brawl between odb and velvet however i don’t like that odb is supposed to be playing the heel when she gets the same reaction from the crowd as babyface velvet.
surprisingly, i’ve not missed seeing tara or madison on tv the past couple weeks!
This story with Love and Winter is the dumbest thing in Impact right now. I think its surpassed Joe/Pope for worst feud of the year.
What’s the reason for this? What’s the payoff? What’s the point?
Holy crap.
Kaledrina Reply:
June 3rd, 2011 at 9:21 pm
the love/winter story definitely seems very love it or hate it with the fans.
personally, i really like it. i don’t think it makes much sense (or rather i don’t truly understand it yet!) but it’s been spanning almost eight months now and i still find it intriguing. i think it’s great that two of the best “acting” women in mainstream wrestling get to play it out.
it’s like i’m watching a really neat thriller movie in dribs and drabs every week and i love that it makes me think and reflect and come to my own conclusions as to what is actually going on rather than it being just another random, predictable feud that i’ll likely forget all about in two months time.
Piggie James Reply:
June 4th, 2011 at 7:34 am
For the record I was a huge fan of the Joe/Pope feud, although I can understand that most people didn’t like it due to it being predominantly a comedy feud, but I personally found it very entertaining.
And the Love and Winter feud is also great in my opinion. It’s supposed to have a real mystery/supernatural/WTF!! element to it that I think is a lot of fun to watch. But once again wrestling purists who like more serious/realistic storylines aren’t going to be a fan of it.
Perhaps all the questions you’ve asked are somewhat of the point of the feud. No one knows what it’s all about lol. Although I hope it doesn’t end up like Lost where people started getting sick of finding out where it was all going.
Well its pretty obvious that Velvet isnt a good friend because she didnt return the favor , when Miss T got choked out after the match lol
The match was great though Miss T did very well. When Angelina talked I was like “wow”. I can see Angelina turning on winter in the near future after she spoke last night.
i didnt like the brawl , it didnt seem to real for m. It seemed all they were doing was pounding each other on the back and throwing one another into things. I’ve seen better brawls than this….buts this fued is heating up though…I find it odd how ODB keeps calling Velvet a whore , when she was still here back in the walking around with short ass attire on exposing her under wear and spanking her ass…isnt that signs of being a whore too ? LOL
BillyGP Reply:
June 4th, 2011 at 2:11 am
Velvet probably was selling since she got choked out by ODB with a shirt
A little disappointed that there is still a lack of Sarosita, however.
Another wonderful write-up April! Thanks for taking the time to do this for us.
As for the stories for the week:
Digging OBD’s return and her storyline with Ms. Velvet.
The Winter/Love storyline was starting to get stale. Now that Angelina’s talking again, let’s see where it goes.
Ms. Tessmacher is showing signs of improvement in her matches. She actually starting to grow on me as I thought she would bomb miserably.
Note to TNA heads: Bring back Roxxi and Alissa Flash so we can really get things going! Oh ya, when’s Christina Von Eerie finally going to debut?
April Reply:
June 6th, 2011 at 3:41 am
You’re very welcome. Thanks so much for the appreciation!
And I’m dying for Christina Von Eerie to sign up as well. Love her.
ODB looked amazing, she looked like her OVW self…which was her best look
angelina and tessmacher have been wearing those same outfits for the past month….seriously girls, you don’t have to wear something new, but at least wear something we havent seen in a while
I was sad there was no mickie :(
at least ODB can say she closer to a WWE contract than velvet. I heard WWE was very interested in ODB when she was in OVW, but the reason they didn’t offer her a contract was because of her visible arm tattoos. They didn’t want their divas to look like trailer trash with very noticeable tats, but other than that they found her very pretty facial wise
laqisha Reply:
June 5th, 2011 at 4:25 am
Thats stupied, so thats why they didn’t let Martinez be in TE.
Miss T did SO good!! I was shocked! Getchya self some, girl! ;)
That ODB/Vel Vel brawl was awsome! I really like this fued.
Loving all the storylines and everything right now.
How depressing is it that this ODB & Velvet fued is has gotten more interesting than anything else Knockouts related, even over the Winter & Love storyline, and Mickie’s title reign. Hell its even better than some of the superstars stuff.
But either way, this only made me love both of them more, if only Velvet covered herself up more… but why am I complaining about that? ;-P
I love what TNA’s doing with the Knockouts! The divas only get like 3 minutes. Knockouts get like half an hour!
The segment between Velvet and ODB was a good way to start off impact, I didnt expect that to happen.
The segment between Angelina and Winter was really creepy, AND SHE FINALLY SPEAKED :D
The match was pretty decent and long, I liked it when Ms.Tessmacher had alittle fight in her ^^. Angelina was pretty creepy and April’s right, I was sad Ms.Tessmacher didn’t have a new color for her attire, I mean just put some yellow on it or something. Anyways, I think the match that underwent this weeks Impact was pretty good.
I thought Karens fall down the stairs was O.K. But i still highly think it was fake, I mean wouldn’t she not be at the edge of the stairs, She would be right at the middle. But other than that this weeks impact was by far the best.
The backstage looked so fake and boring, eh.
The brawl was pretty good. The reason for ODBs come back is effing ridiculous but at the end of the day at least shes back right?
The match itself was really good! I love how good Miss T is getting in the ring. If she only ditched the stripper angle and devoted herself more to the actual wrestling I’d like her more and she’d probably improve way faster.
Nice Street Fight Segment with ODB & Velvet Sky! Velvet should’ve been in Street Clothes IMO not a Bikini. Angelina Love finally speaking was a Big Time Mistake & storyline killer IMO. With Angelina speaking this weakens Winter’s Complete Control over her. Winter & Angelina Royalty in a Past Life. Ok well I say let’s dub them Dark Royalty or Royalty of the Damned? Angelina vs Brooke Adams ( I refuse to call her Miss Tessmacher ) was a decent match due to it went about 5-8min. as apposed to 2-5 min. The one thing I hate about all Knockout’s Matches is Taz’s constent Sexually Perverted Commentary! This needs to stop because it’s totally disrespectful to the female talent and completely uncalled for and unprofessional IMHO! But when has Dixie Carter and Co. done anything that was Top Notch? Never!!! Why??? Due to the Perverted, Lazy, Crack-Heads of TNA Creative & Backstage Management everything from storylines/matches, editing Impact for T.V., all the way down to hiring/firing talent will always be done 2nd Rate & Cheap!! If any wrestling fan disagrees with TNA being 2nd Rate & Cheap than he or she is not a true fan of the pro wrestling/sports entertainment business. Sound-off in the replies & call me a Lier & a TNA Hater & that TNA is 1000 % better than the WWE!!!
im sorry but i disagree with everyone about the brawl.. the crappiest brawl ive seen, its not believable and most hit they doing doesn’t even connect, velvet wrestling ability is just so questionable to me eventhough she has one of the strongest promo/mic ability. ODB looks gross, she make mick foley looks nice and tidy.
the winter/angelina imo is great. angelinas acting is impressive and the match is definately A for me.
laqisha Reply:
June 5th, 2011 at 10:11 am
Are you saying that ODB looked gross because she was dressed like a butch Lesbian???
We are getting tired of the “pretty image” of mainstream womens wrestling so we need something diffrent.
The brawl was pretty bad and went way too long given the tentative quality of it. Velvet is mediocrity unleashed, although I must say it was truly funny when ODB stripped her shirt off and Velvet rolled around clutching her cartoon balloons as though her standard exposure was suddenly threatening her modesty. That being in the costume she was about to be photographed in for the benefit of droolers in the Impact Zone. Velvet’s career is built around awkward softcore posing with lots of grotesque implant bulging. ODB for her part is likely capable of far more than this but yelling whore and thrashing the inept Ms Sky isn’t getting her over as a heel so much as a distracting noise. Her best moment was the wiener slap on the photog. Where the hell were back-up security after a Knockout destroyed the ringside dude’s in 15 seconds? And to finish with this segment, how frigging stupid is Velvet that she can’t extricate herself from a t-shirt around the neck, it’s cotton, not anaconda. Just laughably lame.
The Angelina/Winter segments are so goofy but mildly fun. I can’t buy the twig-like Angelina as a monster that no-sells offense but they’re giving it their all. This all plays into Kat/Winter’s guise as B-movie horror queen. The match had moments but to sell these segments they need to either get out of the typical match dynamic or up the devastation considerably. After all, what self-respecting monster breaks holds on the ref’s count? They need to have Angelina just destroy someone, punch the ref out and go back to work on her victim. Winning a match against the improving but clumsy Ms T can’t provide any sort of motivation for Angelina or Winter. Angelina needs to terrorize and brutalize someone with no regard for the match. I’m thinking back to the way Foley got Mankind over except skinny with bad makeup and implants. Still, there’s something amusing about this whole little nonsense plot. Winter and Angelina are doing their best to sell it despite the horrible job TNAImpact has done of producing the spots from a technical stanpoint going back to Winter’s introuction.
Blacklighter05 Reply:
June 6th, 2011 at 9:18 am
winter’s introduction was great with some and horrid with the rest; theres no in between. Personally I thought it was genius because its something different that hasnt really been done with a female. To put some thought and effort into a female character is by far one of the reasons that not many people care about women’s wrestling. Miss T, ODB, Tamina and Rosa Mendes are all prime examples of it. Not a single one of them is interesting enought o keep me interested and engaged for very long. winter on the other hand keeps me and many others intrigued and we want to know whats going on between her and Angelina. I hope we find out soon though because I do think it’s getting stale and having Angelina didnt breathe enough life onti the gimmick.
lazberg Reply:
June 6th, 2011 at 6:05 pm
there’s a fundamental problem with trying to run supernatural angles that have to resolve in wrestling matches. the required suspension of disbelief is just too great and even with the vast sums of money wwe can throw at production and effects you can see right through the gimmick. which still doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be done because it can add an interesting and fun element to the show. storytelling requires consistency and commitment on both sides of the camera. tna/impact has a bad habit of forgetting what it’s doing from segment to segment let alone carrying a long story arc.
angelina and winter have done a really decent job of working with what they’ve been given. unfortunately, what they’ve been given is riddled with holes. this is one of those angles that the tv writers that wwe seems to like hiring would be a better choice than a traditional booker. it’s that much more likely to go off the road with a total goof like vince russo holding the book. still, they’ve done what they could. i really like winter’s presentation but that’s to do with how she carries herself and while angelina as the monster is silly, she’s also done better than one would expect with it.
now the problem is, where is the payoff on an angle like this. after months of building this dynamic between the two, starting a feud with the hapless velvet it all goes mushy. velvet is now into yet another feud with the returning odb after being at odds with madison & lady jarrett. the loss of her bff and the betrayal by winter is all forgotten. there are no other logical moves to make so they have to either parachute a new knockout into the mix and glue a motive to her or scurry to the conclusion of the angle and break the evil duo up to fight amongst themselves. and that would make for a wasted journey without a significant interim feud to carry them over.
i hope this all goes somewhere but i doubt it as follow through is not the strong point for this company as seen especially with knockout feuds.
Tessmacher has really surprised me she’s pretty decent in the ring. She is by no means perfect or ready to be a top knockout but she’s alot better than I thought she would be.
The brawl was really good ! And the segment was just weird….. But the match was good. Omg watching Karen fall down the stairs was priceless….even though we didn’t see it.