What’s up all you bitches and prostitutes?! Wait… you mean I can’t try to make up my own Knockout lingo’d opening to this? Oh, my bad. Let’s try not to let my catchy attempt dampen such a beautiful night. And let’s be honest, it’s always a beautiful night when Miss Karen makes her presence known. She and Aunt Traci stood in the corner of the newly crowned Knockouts Tag Team Champions, Gail Kim & Madison Rayne (collectively known as “Karen’s Krusaders”) in their defense against “Thrillbilly Skies”, made up of Mickie James and Velvet Sky. Also; Sarita, Rosita, and new Knockout, Toxxin (Christina Von Eerie) engage in a brawl, as we head into the final Impact before Turning Point this Sunday.
Now why don’t we get started before I put “Hardcore Country” on loop and snack on my corn bread as I get ready for the town hoe down… Alright, I’ve officially been listening to too much Madison Rayne.
Up first, we head backstage where the beautiful stable of Karen’s Krusaders are checking themselves over in the mirror to make sure they are in tip top shape for their title defense later in the night. Miss Karen informs Gail that she does not need to do anything to herself because she looks absolutely stunning! The perky killer queen also begs for Miss Karen’s approval, as any person rightfully should, to which Miss Karen reassures Madison she is attractive as well. The Knockouts VP reigns in celebration at what she claims Gail brought home last week, as Kim returns claiming it was Miss Karen’s doing!
Madison, seeming like that child a mother is trying to keep quiet as the grown ups discuss business, chimes in and begs for approval again! Miss Karen says that tonight is Gail’s opportunity to BEAT VELVET DOWN, as plucky Madison claims she will help as well! Miss Karen then turns her attention to Aunt Traci and screams that she screwed up the whole plan! Never the one to let negativity take her over, Miss Karen focuses all eyes back on Gail, and says that Gail is going to take the belt from Velvet at Turning Point. Madison again tries to say that she will help, but the two ladies are already drawn together with a hug! Rayne joins in on the side, as Aunt Traci looks like she wants to pull her hair out!
From there, we head out to the ring where our lovely red headed announcer, Christy Hemme, proclaims the following contest to be in contention for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles. We then get introduced to the team of Mickie James and Velvet Sky, soon to be known as “Thrillbilly Skies”. While it does strike me as more of a name for a girl group on “The X-Factor”, we’ll just have to let it work because it’s the best I could come up with. The two stunning females make their way out to the ring; Mickie rocking her finest denim, as Velvet completes the champion look in gold.
For those of you wondering how these two formed together, let me assure you that I have it on good authority from one of my sources that Mickie James has been feeding cornbread to one of Velvet’s prized pigeons, therefore the two have since bonded and become the best of Knockout friends. Take my word or not, but either way, they have a shot at tag team gold tonight, and out come their opponents to get the match started. The matrix like theme of Gail Kim hits, as she and Madison enter from each side to the delightful Miss Karen standing in the middle. Aunt Traci, of course, seems reluctant to be with them, as I sit here wishing I was in her shoes to be that close to such class.
The four make their way down to the ring, as a flash pops up on screen for everyone to follow the amazing president of TNA, Miss Dixie Carter (which I encourage you all to do).
Before the bell can even ring, Velvet Sky spears the tiara right off Madison Rayne’s head! She begins bombarding the Killer Queen with punches left and right, as Miss Karen screams in disapproval! Some kicks follow up, before Velvet grabs Madison in a headlock until Gail Kim jumps in and takes Velvet down. This allows Madison to take control, as she sends Velvet into the ropes.
Velvet manages to stop herself though, as Mickie James makes the blind tag in. Our denim queen runs off the ropes with a dropkick to the Killer Queen, as she then takes out Gail Kim with a punch to the face for good measure! Madison charges forward, but Mickie hoists her up and drops her like a sack of potatoes! James then kips up and climbs up to the top rope, but the asian sensation pushes her off, as Taz claims Gail to be an innocent little dove. Does this mean at Turning Point we’ve got the dove facing off against the pigeon? I digress…but back to the action; Gail makes the tag in and kicks Mickie in the stomach.
She and Madison execute some nice double team maneuvers in the corner. Gail poses to the booing crowd, as Velvet screams at her from the apron. Sick clothesline by Gail to Mickie, as she clings for a tag to the Knockouts Champion. Gail takes control with a headlock, making sure to keep Hardcore Country away from her partner. Kim tells Velvet to watch and learn, but Mickie manages to counter Gail’s attempt into a “woman’s style neckbreaker” as Mike Tenay claims. Mickie crawls…and crawls…and crawls…and TAGS IN VELVET!
Sky runs off the ropes with some awesome clotheslines. Double jawbreaker follows up, with an intense bulldog off the ropes. Gail gets back up, but Velvet takes control with a move I can’t describe so let’s call it the “Sky Cry”. She goes for a cover, but Madison Rayne breaks it up and gets Lou Thesz’d off the top rope by Mickie for her troubles. The referee becomes distracted with Mickie, as Velvet goes for a double underhook facebuster on Gail! Miss Karen takes it upon herself to stand on the ring apron, which now takes Velvet’s attention off from Kim. Madison then spins the champ around and goes for a kick, but she pays the price by getting the move meant for Gail! Once Velvet gets up from that, she turns right around into the Eat Defeat! IT’S OVER! Karen’s Krusaders continue their quest of Knockout dominance, but can they complete it this Sunday at Turning Point?
Later on, we head to the backstage area where Mexican America approaches Ink, Inc. as they sit at a table, perhaps casually talking? Or maybe giving each other piercings? Whatever the reason may be, a fight breaks out immediately that includes our very own Sarita, Rosita, and Toxxin. They brawl for about thirty or so seconds, before Mexican America scram and we prepare for the six person intergender tag match at Turning Point!
Thoughts: Another enjoyable tag match this week for me. I do miss seeing them spread throughout the entire show, but it’s great that they get to have enough time to have a match each week. Personally, I’m excited for Velvet vs. Gail at Turning Point because I think it has been built up well. I do hope for Velvet to win because I think the one setback the division has right now is that the main title changes hands so frequently and after building her up as much as they did, it would be a mistake to remove it this soon.
I would like to see the feud between the two ladies continue on past Turning Point though because I think there’s a lot more for them to do since it’s so fresh.
Also can’t wait for the six person tag match (which better be on the actual SHOW this time) since it marks the return of a maskless Sarita, and the in ring debut of Toxxin. Both should make for a great show, but what will Rosita do at ringside? Something tells me more than just stand there and watch her cousin the entire time.