Saturday, June 19, 2021

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NXT Watch (December 7th, 2011): Say Hello to Mrs Portia Perez and Say Goodbye to BateMax

I normally like to start these recaps up with some funny saying, but I can’t bring myself to do it this week. Ever since NXT ended, I’ve been blasting Nelly Furtado’s “All Good Things Come To An End” (in the name of BateMax of course… don’t you judge me). I came to know BateMax as the premiere pairing of the WWE, and now, thanks to one Dirty Curty, it’s all over. You see, tonight on NXT, Maxine makes her presence known at the very end, as our other female driven star, Tamina, manages a tag team to victory… but not only that, Maxine’s mother, Mrs Portia Perez (yes, I’m not making that up) displays where Maxine gets her brilliance from.

Now let’s scroll on down and see if I can bring myself to recap the torture that is BateMax’s split.

We head backstage to see our NXT hero, Derrick Bateman, as he searches the backstage area looking for his bride to be, Maxine. He runs into Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel, and Trent Barreta *Cough* I love namedropping underused people to get them attention *Cough* and they all claim that they have not seen her around today. As he continues down the hallway, he spots a woman that, from the back, looks to be Maxine applying makeup. She turns around and introduces herself to him. We then discover that this is Maxine’s mother, Mrs Perez!

As the IDENTICAL older version of Maxine asks if that is any way to greet his future mother in law, Derrick claims that he’s flustered over the thought of Maxine leaving with Dirty Curty. Mrs Perez tries to calm him down and state that she was with her the whole weekend, which allows him to breathe a sigh of relief. Mrs. Perez continues on that Maxine has always been both a little grumpy, and had problems trying to keep her boyfriends happy since she was a kid. She then begins to turn her own attention onto Derrick and roll her finger up his shirt.

Mrs. Perez then looks to begin hitting on him until Dirty Curty steps into the picture! She then turns the tables and slaps him across the face, as if to pretend it was innocent Derrick putting the moves like jagger on her. She then walks off, as Bateman claims it wasn’t what it looks like. Dirty Curty states that while he’s done a lot of dirty things in his past, he would never leave with another man’s fiancee… you know, because he has standards and all. Derrick begins to walk off, until Curty claims that he was actually with Bateman’s mother last week…

Oh. Hell. No.

Bateman goes wild and attempts to attack Dirty Curty until SmackDown Superstar, Justin Gabriel, and former Dudebuster and also SmackDown Superstar, Trent Barreta, haul him away like he’s going to the loony bin. One fourth of the Midcard Mafia, Tyson Kidd, walks up to make sure Johnny Curtis is okay, as he eerily stares down Derrick. Hmmmm…

At the very end of the show, resident NXT hero, Derrick Bateman manages to defeat Dirty Curty using his patented Mantastic DDT. The world rejoices, until the stage turns bright green and out comes MAXINE, gracing the program with her appearance. She walks down the ramp and into the ring with a mic in hand, as she proceeds to drop a bombshell that we all wish she could take back. She starts off by shoving him back to get off of her, before accusing him of being so low as to stoop to her own MOTHER! He tries to defend himself, but Maxine does not want to hear it right now. She says that she’s disgusted with him, before taking her ring off and screaming out the four words I can barely bring myself to type…

THE ENGAGEMENT IS OFF!

Maxine shoves the ring into his hand and walks up to the back, as Dirty Curty looks on approvingly at BateMax’s demise. Folks, I don’t know if she’s going to run back to Curty or not, but it looks like, this week, we can close a chapter in the ongoing saga that is “Maxine’s Choice”, as Batemax is officially over.

Also, check out Tamina as she manages the team of JTG and Darren Young while they face off against Titus O’Neil and Percy Watson. Note: During Team Tamina’s entrance, Matt Striker confirms that Maxine’s mother is indeed named Portia Perez.


Skip to 3:31

Thoughts: You know, throughout the emotional rollercoaster that is NXT, we have gotten to experience many, many highs. Tonight, however, was indeed a low. BateMax splitting has angered me. You see, even though I think Dirty Curty and Maxine would be a good pairing, BateMax was unique: they were edgy.. they were this generation’s Edge and Lita! Okay, in reality, they were awesome. I really am going to miss their backstage segments, as well as their mothers.

Speaking of which, whether or not Mrs Portia Perez was actually Maxine’s real mother, how scary close did she come to portraying Maxine? The speech, the mannerisms; she had everything that Maxine has down to a T. I do wonder where this is eventually going to lead, but much like the Chickbusters recent friendship problems, Derrick Bateman and Johnny Curtis now seem to be on the rocks as well. Therefore I call… no, I BEG all of the loyal readers, please join me in remembering the good ol’ days…

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