Sunday, June 13, 2021

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NXT Watch (February 15th, 2012): All’s Fair in Love and Chocolate

Why hello there, and let me welcome you to a special Valentine’s week edition of the NXT Watch!~ Many people spend this special time of the year in different ways… some go out, some stay in and watch Cougar Town which airs Tuesday nights on ABC at 8:30/7:30 CT (PLEASE WATCH IT!!!), and some get to be a part of the greatest wrestling show known to man, NXT! For Maxine, Kaitlyn, and to an extent, Alicia Fox, they got to take part in the latter so that we have such brilliance to recap each and every week. Tonight, we saw what true lengths a woman will go to when she sees a mismarked box of chocolates, and let me tell you… it’s not pretty.

Up first in tonight’s triple threat of chocolate excellence, we spy Kaitlyn and Alicia Fox chatting it up backstage. The topic of their discussion seems to be how Sweet Meat Bateman can do much better than Maxine when it comes to the game of love. Alicia then questions if Kaitlyn is hoping for them to break up so that “Kateman” can form. (Side note: I personally choose to go with Baitlyn, but no harm done, Fox… this time.) Kaitlyn tries to deny Alicia’s bubbly assumption that she has a crush on Sweet Meat, by claiming that they are “just friends”. Out of nowhere, just like a blemish on school picture day, that rotten scoundrel, Dirty Curty pops up and startles the two women.

He swings his arms around them and asks if they want to check out the new disco ball he got in his van… which INFURIATES me for reasons that you will find out if you scroll on down to the “Thoughts” section of this recap. Like the two intelligent beings that they are, Kaitlyn and Alicia deny his request and walk off. Suddenly, a random man appears that surprisingly makes me miss NXT Season 3’s immigration officer, Nick Dickapopolous, and asks Dirty Curty if he’s seen Derrick Bateman. The scoundrel that he is, Johnny decides to fool the man and pose as Derrick himself.

After scribbling his name down on the note pad (Don’t delivery men have clipboards?!) Dirty Curty snatches the chocolates and flowers, as he reads that they are for Maxine from Derrick. He proceeds to sniff the flowers that Derrick’s hard earned NXT salary paid for, before relating this to stealing candy from a Bateman! The segment then fades to black, as we can only assume how these poor flowers are going to be tormented in the hands of the dirty one himself. I beg you all to say a prayer that they make it out of his van with no petals disturbed.

Heading backstage once again, we find ourselves in the locker room of resident Queen of Mean, Maxine! She can be spotted freshening up in her blue ring gear, as she walks out into the changing area to find the candy and flowers that were unfortunately left in the filthy hands of that dirty, rotten scoundrel earlier tonight. She hoists the chocolates up, which I can only imagine gives her deja vu from the infamous candy eating contest she won during NXT 3’s Halloween show, and reads the card aloud for us all to hear. It proclaims: “Kaitlyn, sorry about Maxine last week. You’re the best! Love Derrick.” Oh, heck no! Johnny Curtis had to stick his rotten paws on Derrick’s thoughtful gift and change the card to stir up even more trouble. Maxine viciously slams the chocolate treats down on a nearby bench and vows revenge for what has transpired. If I were in her way right now instead of sitting behind a keyboard typing this, I’d be afraid… I’d be VERY afraid.

(Note: For the purposes of this article, skip ahead to 6:59. If you would like to view it from the start, you can catch Kaitlyn as she provides commentary for a tag team main event pitting Derrick Bateman and Justin Gabriel against Dirty Curty and his equally filthy friend that we will now call “The Ginger Head Man”.)

As we head to the closing moments of this tremendous tag team bout, “Sweet Meat” Derrick Bateman drops the Ginger Head Man with what is now formerly known as the Mantastic DDT because Kaitlyn informs us it’s now dubbed the Sweet Meat Sizzler! A hook of the leg gets Derrick the three count, as Kaitlyn watches on nodding her head in approval. Suddenly… out strolls our royal highness, and boy, does she ever look upset. Maxine completely ignores Derrick’s victory posing going on in the ring, as she struts over to the announce table and comes face to face with Kaitlyn, who wonders if Maxine is bringing her chocolates!

Kaitlyn removes the headset from around her hair, before receiving a CHOCOLATE SMACK right across the face! Maxine proceeds to toss her right into the barricade, before kicking her relentlessly and stuffing the candy treats in Kaitlyn’s face! Derrick tries to restrain Maxine from this vicious gooey fiasco, but the Queen of Mean can not be stopped… she is on a mission! He tries to tend to Kaitlyn, but Maxine shoves him out of the way and goes right back to the assault! She slams Kaitlyn’s head into the barricade until Derrick physically lifts her over his shoulder and drags her kicking and screaming self to the back! They pass by the ring, when out of nowhere, that nut Dirty Curty looks on with his evil smirk of doom. Maxine continues to try to beat her way out of Derrick’s grasp, as all hell has broken loose in the land of the golden ropes!

Thoughts: I think it says a lot about my feelings towards tonight’s show that I managed to put a total of three minutes and nineteen seconds of action into six entire paragraphs. As if I don’t already love everything about this show enough, they never fail to step it up to another level. This time last year, Derrick and Johnny were hitting a pinata in the middle of a ring, Maxine was back in FCW, and Kaitlyn was barely being used on SmackDown. Now, the four of them have all come together to provide the most consistent entertainment I’ve gotten to see in the WWE since the days of Jamie Noble and Nidia.

In fact, the only thing that I think could be done to add even more of my admiration for NXT would be for Maxine to catch Derrick being seduced by Kaitlyn’s homemade chicken tetrazzini. (If you don’t understand that, please click here.) In all seriousness though, I feel like you are all going to tire of me saying nice things about this show, but I legitimately can’t help it. I don’t get upset with the lack of air time given to Raw or SmackDown because I know this beautiful hidden gem of the company will never let me down. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a strongly worded tweet to assemble in hopes of letting Sir Dirty Curty know how much I dislike him bringing up the disco ball tonight when he darn well knows the pain that I’ve had to deal with not seeing Brodus Clay, Naomi, and Cameron Lynn on TV every week. All may be fair in love and chocolate… but when you mess with those three, you mess with me. This means WAR!

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