Raw Redux (April 9th, 2012): A Dismal Night of Diva ‘Action’

FINALLY!!!! That’s right, finally! Finally, your resident Khaleesi has come back to the Raw Redux after more than a month away. Wow. It’s been a while and I’m not terribly sure I remember how to write one of these things. Before we go any further, I want to thank Bobby for stepping up and filling in for me. Sometimes life and vacations get in the way and the fact he took on my Redux, along with his other DD responsibilities speaks volumes about his character and his personality. Bobby, you are a class act and I thank you very much for helping me out. I also forgive you for ruining my picture with Dolph Ziggler at Axxess not once, but twice. Ahhh, Miami memories.

So lets get started, shall we?

As I’m typing this, I haven’t watched Raw. I figured it was only fitting that my first Redux back is of the ‘live’ variety because let’s be honest, those are always the most fun anyway. I couldn’t tell you anything that happened, so I reckon now is the perfect time to cue up my YouTube and get this underway. As the wonderful Kim Zolciak once sang, don’t be tardy for the party! Read along with me NOW!

After what is an incredibly epic brawl (and according to Twitter the only Diva sighting of the night), Eve Torres approaches Big Johnny in the backstage area.

First let me say that Eve’s dress is amazing. She’s also incredibly beautiful in person. But seriously that dress: I want. Of course, I also need a body like that in order to wear said dress but a girl can dream. Nonetheless, Big Johnny is screaming at Teddy Long for his lack of control over John Cena, and once he sends the former GM away, Eve walks up and taps him on the shoulder. He snaps at her but when he realizes who she is, his tune changes. Eve points out that the two of them haven’t had a chance to talk since WrestleMania, but Johnny points out that right now things are a little hectic. He offers to make an appointment with the devilish Diva so they can talk one on one, but Eve counters that offer by telling Johnny that since he has her number, he should just call her. Johnny agrees and Eve leaves.

Clearly, Eve is going to want some kind of pay-off for helping Team Johnny win at WrestleMania. I can’t really say I blame her. She pretty much used her relationship with Zack Ryder in order to secure Team Raw the victory. I reckon a Divas Championship shot should come her way or something along those lines. Short segment and gives you hope that more is on its way. At least that’s how I’m taking it.

When Raw returns from commercial (assuming there was a commercial break seeing as how I’m watching on YouTube), Naomi and Cameron make their presence felt alongside Brodus Clay and Santino.

First, can  I just say that it was ridiculous for me to see how over Clay, Naomi, and Cameron are. At WrestleMania the crowd literally had a mental breakdown when they made an appearance. They were also at the Thursday night Axxess session and had a huge line. I didn’t get a chance to meet them but I’m incredibly jealous of all those people who did.

They get in the ring, do their thing, and after some heart wrenching highlights from last week that saw my love, Prince Dolph, get destroyed, Queen Vickie Guerrero makes her way to the stage. I have a feeling we’re about to have a tag match and I’m not thrilled about it. For the love of all things holy, can we elevate Prince Dolph back to the main event?

Oh yum, Prince Dolph got his hair did.

I’ll be honest, recapping this match is not really a priority. I’m including it for those of you who want to see Naomi, Cameron, and Vickie.

Did Prince Dolph seriously just get pinned?! Oh hell no. My face right now pretty much mimics Vickie’s. I’m not even joking. The Funkettes get in the ring and celebrate with Brodus and Santino, and can I just say that I thank God they didn’t do that stupid trombone thing that Santino does?! Well, I said it anyway.

What else can I say? I think I would have preferred to see Vickie try and get involved in this match in some capacity because perhaps that would have given Naomi and Cameron something else to do. I would love to see them try and interject themselves into Brodus’ matches especially when someone as evil as Vickie is on the other said. That said, I truly hope this is a one off thing. I’ll take a Dolph Ziggler loss if it means I never have to see him face Brodus and Santino again. Again, I’m not even joking on that.

That was about it for Raw. SmackDown seems to be the new home of the Divas so perhaps more will be done to advance storylines on the show tonight. I don’t really have much else to say. I wish my return to the Redux could have been more exciting but that’s just the way cookie crumbles sometimes. I hope you guys enjoyed this nonetheless. Until next time!

Cryssi out!

Cryssi
TV Reviewer - Read Profile
  • Choko

    I really want the funkettes to feud with Vickie. That would get them even more over.

  • Lanoom

    Diva average time (appearance or match) continues dipping closer to 0.

  • Simply Flawless

    The splits Santino did at the end, LOOOOOL I’m unable! Oh dear <;I

  • Jhonmarco

    Blah night for the divas (as usual). Overall though RAW was pretty great last night. FUCKING LOVED THAT BRAWL OMGGGGG.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/LovableLittleRabbit?feature=mhum Megumi

    Couldn’t be bothered, nothing interesting happened. Dolph Ziggler shouldn’t even be in the same ring as Santino and Jack Swagger period. Jack Swagger can’t be saved, the man is one of the most boring superstars on the roster. Even the jobbers who appear once to get destroyed by Clay and Tensai have better facial expressions while they get their fifteen seconds getting the crap beat out of them. No eloquence in the speech, no expression in the face, and his wrestling is good but it’s a second-rate Kurt Angle.

    I don’t really know if Eve’s segment was important or if it was just an excuse to get Eve on the show. Either way I don’t mind, so that’s that.

  • 04bia

    i think its ridiculous, i cant believe for 2 weeks straight we’ve had no divas matches on raw. what i dont get is that eve is still being put on screen and getting segments, but the divas champ herself, beth phoenix has not been seen on raw since WM28. i dont have anything against eve, im a big fan of her and shes doing so well. i just dont like the fact that beth is put on the back burner when SHE IS THE DIVAS CHAMPION, she should be defending the title not just hold on to it like an accessory. also if beth is not being pushed why does she still hold the title for nothing? why cant she drop it to somebody else like eve who gets to be on raw all the time?
    also why can’t wwe give these girls a decent storyline? wwe has no idea what to do with the girls what so ever. i dont think layla or kharma can magically change the divas division judging by the way divas are being treated

    • LadyGoDiva

      My guess is that the WWE can’t think up good diva storylines anymore?

    • DjayDay

      Completely agree. At this point it isn’t in Kharma’s hands anymore. She needs her time to mentally and physically recuperate, and everyone saying to wait for Kharma is extremely unrealistic. In my opinion, they need some new blood in the division, bring some girls up. For me, the main roster girls blend together, although they are different. I know that this won’t magically give them more time, however, it will bring something new to look at watch and at least bring some interest.

      Although I am all for using Nattie and Beth more appropriately, the younger girls need to be given some more shine. Damn, AJ, Naomi, Maxine, Tamina, and even Kaitlyn all have a unique look and for the most part are pretty damn good. This isn’t about ring sense anymore, it’s about booking.

      We need to stop waiting for Kharma, it’s a ways off and from what we can tell I doubt she’ll be back for a while if ever.

    • French.One

      I’m being the devils lawyer here, but maybe the WWE bookers doesn’t manage to come up with good story lines because the divas character don’t inspire them.
      I mean look at the men’s division, it’s the same, they have talent but they can’t have good stories for all. But as soon as the Rock or Lesnar comes into play they sure have ideas to make them face Cena.
      Maybe they have the same issues with the girl and they have come to a point where they’re afraid to give them something to do because they would feel it wouldn’t look good.

      • DjayDay

        Oh yeah that could also be the case. Some of the superstars don’t exactly scream personality, in fact most of the people in FCW who bust there asses for WWE, would probably do a way better job up on the main roster. But, there’s always two sides to every story.

        Personally the roster needs new blood, and it seems in the last two weeks, the men are getting that, and once again the divas division remains in shambles.

        • French.One

          There’s no diva ready right now in FCW imho. The new blood should be Naomi/AJ/Aksana/Maxine but somehow they’re stuck on sideline storylines. I even feel Aksana may be released…

  • dunk20

    The only good thing about this RAW (diva wise) is the return of Cryssi’s redux, that is perfect as always!

    • http://www.youtube.com/rockinred45mvs RR45

      That’s pretty much what I was going to say lol.

  • French.One

    Raw redux earlier than FCW redux, wake up Bobby !!

    • Bobby

      The Raw Redux typically always comes before the FCW because FCW generally hits youtube around Monday and I have classes Monday & Tuesday thus don’t have the time until Tuesday night/Wednesday morning to write it.

  • Bethinho

    i don´t see anything else for Eve to ask Johhny than a title match in conditions where Eve can have the upperhand.
    the rest…meh.

  • http://www.ringvixens.com Teri

    Eh, nothing to talk about this week. Looks like someone broke the remote and paused the Divas.

  • LadyGoDiva

    As a diva fan myself I’m not bothered or upset by it because there isn’t much to do so idk about SD or NXT?

  • http://www.facebook.com/xxtesxx TommyStarstruck

    I don’t even watch RAW anymore. I wait to see what happens here on Diva-Dirt.

    I’d LOVE to see Zack Ryder, Santino Marella, Brodus Clay, & The Funkettes to be like the ODDITIES 2.0 or something…. never happen- but it could work.

  • Poison_Ivory

    I just want a Divas match on RAW -______- Is that too much to ask..?

  • Faye

    Anybody else laugh when raspy voice tried to shoo Eve away even though she was giving him bedroom eyes? LOL!

    Anyway, my angel looked stunning. Too bad there wasn’t anything better for her to do. She got nice heat ,tho :D

    E4L!

  • javiousmckenzie

    The division is dead i cant even remember who is on which show who is heel and who is face the division was better when they just had Ivory, Jacquline, Kat, Terri, Lita, Tori, Trish and Stephanie

  • javiousmckenzie

    They have no idea what they are doing with the divas at this point they built Beth up for a Kharma feud then she dropped a bomb on them, Eve has turned heel but they have not been consistent with her story soon no one will care, Tamina was built up now she is on NXT with The Usos my husbands who are underutilized, Alicia Fox was built up beat Beth then forgotten, they tried to make AJ into Mickie James replacement now the story line has backfired and gotten Daniel over the division is just one big ol mess

  • DjayDay

    Hate to say it, but the brawl was my favorite part of the night. Cameron and Naomi looked amazing as usual. Why are they not capitalizing on the (kinda) publicity they gained from Maria Muenones by having Eve and Beth on screen more?

    *Sigh*

  • http://divaderby.net/ DivaDerby

    The last time the divas where put completely on pause was when the Kharma debut was imminent. I’m guessing they stopped everything when they got the call that Kharma was ready. It looks like the dropped whatever they had planned and are going for something new, likely a new storyline that revolves around Kharma.

    I’m guessing her re-debut is imminent.

    • Jhonmarco

      Not true really. When Kharma was debuting the Bellas were feuding with Eve and had just won the title. A LayCool break-up was in the works and it seemed Layla was coming out to be a star. Compare now to last year not even close.

  • KillerKing

    Meh.

  • Blowbangfan

    I love the idea of Johnny Ace owing it to Eve for helping his team win at WM 28. I hope that he provides her with at least a qualifying match ASAP or a straight-up challenge for the Butterfly Belt with Beth Phoenix at Extreme Rules. It’s Eve’s time to shine and hope she will get her opportunity to reign supreme again with a title shot against Beth in the immediate future. Nobody deserves it as much as Eve…unless Kaitlyn or Natalya have something to say about it! #TeamEveTorres

  • shaky209

    Regarding first off Alicia Fox she goofed when she decided to botch her finisher on Beth and made light of it by sayin next time more stank.That got her pushed stopped.And a lot of this I put the blamed squarely WWE creative and ,when they couldn’t get who they wantd neither Shaq nor lebron that left them for Mania to grab whoever they could.That happened to be Maria out of Extra and that didn’t go any farther then Mania and that was done.NOw they’ve got a Diva that has gone way past the 30 to 45 day limit of defending her title and got all these story’s their trying to blow off at ER and Beth wants so bad to defend ther title ;thing is they’ve got 2 Diva’s that are going to leave April 30 th got to take care of that A Diva’s title match has got to get in the system and all that is on WWE creatives shoulders .Beth wants some competition ,they’ve got to find someone get a Diva’stitle match going quick as possible.Beth is now the longest reigning Diva’s champ at I think count is 192 days if not mistaken and hasn’t defended it in over 45days and that isn’t Beth’s fault or the Diva’s for not being on.Yes brawl was great,But I enjoy a Diva’s match every Raw and SmackDown.It’s supposed to a Raw and SmackDown show for everyone not all mens matches but a nice Diva’s match Every Raw..I do think with that Bellas angle on WWE.com we might get a Diva’s title match this Monday Raw which is a 3 hour show.