“AULD LANG SYNE!” Happy New Year everybody and welcome to the first TNA Xplosion Watch of 2013! Considering the lack of Knockouts action on this international TNA show, this could be the only Xplosion Watch of 2013 but thankfully, the match we are about to bare witness to is about as beautiful as a New Year Baby! Well not quite that, unless you count the gyrations of ODB beautiful! In action this week, we have the aforementioned ODB teaming up with Mickie James to take on Madison Rayne and the Knockouts Champion, Tara. As our champion is in the house, Jesse is not far behind, so will he factor in the result of this match? It’s about time we found out.
(Start at 0:50)
A camera on a crane swoops through the Impact Zone as we hear the killer (pun intended) theme of Madison Rayne. Also, So Cal Val is on announcing duties – oh hey, Val! BROKEN, BROKEN! Next into the arena is Tara accompanied by her difference maker, Jesse. Can Tara bring back Poison as her companion? I preferred he/she/it to Jesse. From spider talk to alcoholics talk now as ODB makes her way down the ramp. ODB is without that annoyance, Eric Young by her side, so hopefully this will be a much better showing from her this time. Last but certainly not least, Mickie James skips her way to the ring as her entrance theme featuring vocals from Dixie Carter‘s husband bellows into my ears. Deliciously epic!
The bell sounds and Tara and ODB are starting things off. The Knockouts lock up before ODB makes sure she takes her wedding ring off – good thinking. Jeremy Borash begins to spout nonsense as the girls finally get into it. Each woman pushes the other into the corner before Knockouts official Taryn Terrell breaks it up. Both girls make it obvious that Taryn is touching their chest area and whilst Tara says “Don’t touch me”, ODB spins Taryn’s other hand around and let’s her cop a feel of the badonkas! Tara tries to throw some punches but ODB catches her arms and rebounds her opponent off of said badonkas! BAAAMM! The One Dirty Biatch hits a drop toe hold on Tara before spanking Tara on the behind. Is ODB extra touchy-feely tonight or what?!
Mickie James is tagged in and tries to go high risk, but Tara runs away like a scolded dog (whoops, wrong company) and tags in Madison Rayne. Mickie goes for a reverse bridging pin and a schoolgirl but only manages to get a two count for them both. Madison ain’t got time for that and tags Tara back in, much to the chagrin of the champion. Hardcore Country tosses in the woman who beat her at Final Resolution and delivers a dropkick and a series of forearm shots. Tara reverses an Irish whip but that’s fine with Mickie as she manages to execute her patented headscissor takeover from the corner. A Mick Kick to the gut knocks Tara out the ring and this where the momentum starts to shift. Madison rips Mickie from the top rope and Tara then goes for a pin as a commercial breaks ensues.
Back from the break and Mickie James is in all kinds of trouble as Tara has her locked in a body scissors. Jeremy Borash then does something I actually like for once and references The Blossom Twins on TNA British Boot Camp and this was a really nice touch. Tara ragdolls Mickie across the ring with a hair grab takeover before she tags in Madison. The Killer Queen goes to work on her country foe and rams her face into the turnbuckle. The four-time Knockouts Champion then chokes Mickie with her boot. The Beautiful People alumni then hits ODB, which is sound strategy because as Taryn is trying to get ODB back on the apron, Maddie and Tara deliver punishment to Mickie. The fitness contest winner then continues to choke our singing sensation whilst Jesse laughs in Mickie’s face. #BringBackPoison
The Widow’s Peak Freak is back in the ring now and she clubs Mickie down whilst she was trying to fight out. The record setting five-time Knockouts Champ then pulls Mickie’s hair whilst hoisting her in a Gory Bomb style position and that has got to hurt! Madison tags back in so that her team can stay fresh and gets two near falls. She then uses her signature pelvic strikes (thanks Todd Keneley) on Mickie but once again, she only manages a two count. Following a headlock, Mickie elbows her way to safety, or does she? Not quite yet! The former Victoria then scrambles her way to the ring and goes for a similar hair-pull that she did earlier but Mickie flips out and makes the tag!
ODB and her liquid courage dash into the ring and right through Tara! One half of the Knockouts Tag Champs charges pectoral region first into the Knockouts Champ and uh oh, it’s Bronco Buster time! After that lovely scene and quote from ODB, she goes for the cover but manages only two. Tara whips ODB into the corner but the trailer dweller reverse it and cracks open the Dirty Dozen. Whilst everyone throws up, I’ll pause……
Okay, we’re back and ODB hits a Lou Thesz press before Jesse makes his way onto the apron. The BAM-ing brawler sees to him with a motorboat followed by a splash of whiskey to the face (other spirits also available) before running into a stiff clothesline from the Champ. The Tara-fying one then tags in Madison and they both whip ODB off the ropes. ODB stops in her tracks which allows Mickie to blindly tag herself in. Following a kick to Madison’s face, ODB spears Tara out of the match. Hardcore Country then picks up the pieces and clocks Madison with a Mick Kick. 1-2-3!
Thoughts: This way a really, really fun match and it worked for so many reasons. I loved that Jesse only impacted on the match once and this not only made Taryn look better as a referee, it also made the match feel much fresher instead of us seeing Jesse help Tara win every single time. I also loved that once ODB had got the hot tag, the match wasn’t over and the finish only came after Mickie had taged herself in, unbeknownst to Tara and Madison who were bent over – nice idea TNA!
However the star of the night for me had to be ODB. ODB can provide the perfect mix of wrestling and comedy and this match had that spot-on balance. ODB didn’t have to deal with EY all the time and managed to be funny through her moveset, with moves like the Bronco Buster and the Dirty Dozen, which I’m surprised doesn’t hurt ODB, but before I think about that in-depth, we’ll move swiftly on.
The finish also made sound sense, with Mickie picking up some momentum whilst Tara didn’t take the pinfall, thus not hurting her too much. Whilst any finish could have been used here and it not matter to storylines on main TV as a lot of people won’t see Xplosion, it’s nice to see that TNA were logical here and protected and boosted those who needed to be for it to be relevant on IMPACT. Well, that’s all from me but let me know what you think in the comments. And with that, stay tuned, Jack will be back!