Wednesday, June 16, 2021

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WWE Main Event Redux (March 27th, 2013): The Bellas Put the Funkadactyls on the Endangered Species List

What’s up Diva fans and welcome to this week’s WWE Main Event Redux! The only girls currently scheduled for a WrestleMania match are in tag team action this week as Brie and Nikki Bella, alongside their Mania tag partners Team Rhodes Scholars, face off against Cameron and Naomi, the Funkadactyls! Caomi (I applaud whoever invented this portmanteau) also do a bit of introducing as well as wrestling, as they unveil the new tag team name for their WrestleMania cohorts, Brodus Clay and ‘Sweet T’ Tensai! In addition to all this mouth watering action, AJ Lee also makes her presence felt. Cray-J will be accompanying Big E Langston and Dolph Ziggler come WrestleMania, yet right now, she’s hoping to distract their Mania opponents and her former bits on the side, Daniel Bryan and Kane. So many rhetorical questions to consider, so let’s get into the wrasslin’!

Skip to 0:45.

We cut to the point where Kane is about to put away Antonio Cesaro with a Chokeslam but then we hear, in my opinion, the best WWE Divas theme at this present moment (sue me) as AJ Lee skips her way to the ring. AJ was hoping to light up Kane’s attention, yet the Big Red Machine’s Team Hell No partner Daniel Bryan and the fans told her NO! NO! NO! AJ left with a smug grin on her face, so does she have something else in store?!

Up next, we have some sweet Divas tag team action, and to start us off, it’s Caomi! The Funkadactyls only have one pompom each tonight, as… wait, what’s that, they have mics??!! Two weeks in a row the Divas are going to get some mic time? I’ll give Cameron the same advice I did Alicia last week (as we know how much Cameron loves her): Don’t mention the word undefined or hungry piranhas Cameron! Luckily, neither her nor Naomi mucked up their time on the microphone, and both did well introducing the new name for Brodus Clay and Tensai. I quite like the name Tons of Funk yet I’d rather they went with a dinosaur themed name too, perhaps Jurassic Funk? Never mind though, I’m just nitpicking! *slaps wrist*

Following the funky news, Planet Funk jive and jiggle to the ring and the Funkadactyls perform their patented entrance, and that slow rise up on the apron gets me every time – DAYUM! Out next are Team Rhodes Scholars, who introduce “the deevs (Damien had a slip of the tongue) who will restore class to the division”, the Bella Twins! YOU CAN LOOK, BUT YOU CAN’T TOUCH! Not going to lie, I haven’t missed that theme song! Brie and Nikki are back and we’ll just pretend they aren’t majorly into things with Daniel Bryan and John Cena and enjoy their fine entrance alongside Sandow and Rhodes.

The bell rings and Nikki Bella pie faces Cameron, riling up the underdog, or underdactyl… The bell has already sounded so I have no idea Naomi holds Cameron back as they decide to let Cameron be legal anyway! Nevertheless, the action starts with Cameron and Nikki locking up, with Nikki getting the better of the exchange by powering Cam Cam into the corner. Cameron then retaliates with a series of forearms followed by a bottom-rope springboard hurricanrana – lovely! Cameron hits and kicks some more before being tripped against the ropes by Brie. Cameron shouts “HEY!” before kicking Brie right into Cody Rhodes. However, that momentary distraction was enough for Nikki to capitalize with a Torrie Wilson like clothesline! Feel free to tweet me love for my old school reference!

Following an unsuccessful pin, Nikki belts Cameron with a series of hard stomps to the back, which Cameron sells brilliantly. Nikki then locks in a camel clutch THROUGH the ropes, which looks excellent. Brie then wallops Cameron with a kick as the referee’s attention is with Nikki. Brie is finally tagged into the action, and she decks Cameron with a clothesline. After a one count, Brie then locks in a wrenching submission on Cameron, trapping the arm and pulling on the neck. Cameron eventually fights up, but she’s stopped in her tracks thanks to a rough and sharp knee and beat head combo from Brie.

Nikki then makes her way back into the action, and similar to earlier, she knocks the now desperate Cameron to the mat with a clothesline. After taunting towards Naomi, Nikki tags Brie back in and they execute a nifty double team move. Brie then locks in the same submission on Cameron that did earlier, wrenching her neck. Cameron, with the support of the crowd, finally makes a comeback and destroys Brie with a massive jawbreaker! Can she finally make the tag? YES!

Naomi jumps over the ropes and right into Brie with a flipping clothesline. Yes, she flips when she clotheslines. FLIPS WHEN SHE CLOTHESLINES! Following a dropkick and a butt bump, Naomi performed a hurricanrana armdrag. Not sure if it was meant to be a proper one but Brie went with it anyway and made it look seamless. Naomi went for a cover but only managed a two, as Nikki broke up the pinfall. Cameron then dumped Nikki out of the ring, and Brie made sure she got revenge for her sister by kicking out Cameron. Brie may have made a mistake as she gets bamboozled with a enziguri. Cody Rhodes then got involved and mouthed off on the apron, yet the lovestache doesn’t work on Naomi, who slaps and then backhands Cody. You go girl! Then out of nowhere, Brie rolls up Naomi and gets a win!

Thoughts: Erm, how good was this match? Whilst it wasn’t Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels, it was fun, competent and everyone performed exceptionally. My first point is to address Cameron. Say what you want about her, yet she sells with such ease, she’s brilliant. She’s getting better in the ring with every outing and I love her fiery attitude. I’m admitting here and now that I’m a fan of Cameron. Who would have thought it? The woman we laughed at on Tough Enough is someone we laugh along with in the WWE. She’s got a WrestleMania match and to be honest, she deserves it. Well done Cameron!

Naomi was once again stellar. She didn’t get to do too much in this match yet it’s so good to see her peers acknowledging her on commentary and on Twitter. To me, it’s only a matter of time before WWE releases this Funkadactyl into the wild so that she can feast on that Divas Title! As for the Bellas, other than the finish, which was just funny to me for some reason, the girls showed no signs of ring rust and they did well. Because of all of these components, these four have got me really excited for WrestleMania. And with that, stay tuned, Jack will be back!

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