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Monday, April 6, 2020

Ranking Tag Team WrestleMania Matches

Hello readers, it's Mykel, Diva-Dirt’s equivalent of Asia O’Hara on Fashion Photo Ruview! It's WrestleMania weekend! We have been prior list ranking...

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Raw Redux (August 19th, 2013): Adding Fuel to the Fire

Tonight feels like the end of a very long vacation with a significant other. We’ve spent every waking moment together for the past week, seen every piece of scenery there is to see, and are both suffering from mental and physical exhaustion. My overwhelming need to be with my love, Raw, has been pushed to that point and it’s definitely time for a well deserved break. That said, tonight is the last night of vacation and we’ve got to go through the motions. Raw has a plan to do its best not to disappoint me and I fixed my hair and make-up, and selected a gorgeous new dress for our date tonight. The effort is there and now both of us are going to make the most of it.

We’re broadcasting this date live tonight because what better way to end a romantic getaway than by rehashing it as it happens. I’m pretty sure that come tomorrow I’ll just be a leading candidate for Deathrace 2013 (reference for Bobby only <3), and Raw won't want to be with me for awhile anyway. SummerSlam last night was off the chain. As I wrote earlier, chapters were closed, not to be rewritten for awhile and tonight we start writing the next. Tonight will likely be crazy and it seems like we're getting started with Total Divas cast member, John Cena. Given what happened to conclude the show last night, it’s kind of a surprise to see him.

Cena announces he is going on leave to deal with an injury and introduces his future brother-in-law Daniel Bryan to the ring. Bryan’s ovation is HUGE and he likely has a lot on his mind. Before he can say anything, Stephanie McMahon comes to the ring. Steph apologizes to Daniel for what happened at SummerSlam. I wonder if she’s even legit? The crowd is already giving her heat before she even gets her monolouge properly started. Basically, Stephanie’s explanation is that Triple H screwing over Daniel was what was best for the business. And shockingly enough, the crowd doesn’t agree. Daniel says he can’t believe that Triple H did that to him, out of all the McMahons. Then, almost like he went to the Bella Twin School of Shade, he lets this slip. “When you lie down with trash, sooner or later you start to stink.”

No he didn’t!!!!

Stephanie GRACIOUSLY decides to let Daniel’s remark slide, and Daniel just hams it up. He wants to know if she will fire him because he doesn’t care. He is more than happy to return to his roots and sell his own merch out of the trunk of his car, but before he will get his money worth out of this company. He threatens Triple H, he threatens Randy… he doesn’t care. Stephanie brings up Daniel’s past issues with anger managment and accuses him of getting worked up. In the eyes of the company, Daniel just isn’t WWE Championship material but that doesn’t mean he isn’t valued. Stephanie to Daniel, “Daniel you might not be an ‘A’, but you are a ‘B’ plus.”

Daniel basically calls Stephanie a bitch for that rude comment without having to really say it. The crowd starts to chant it for him, which is hilarious. Daniel says it’s her job to rationalize her husband’s behavior but he isn’t going to accept it. He says he can be WWE Champion and he doesn’t care what she thinks. Stephanie tells him to calm down and he slaps the microphone out of her hand. She is amused, and calls for another microphone. Stephanie calls him uncouth and unprofessional, she calls for security. She isn’t going to be bullied by Daniel. Security comes out and Stephanie claims this isn’t what she wants and orders Daniel to be escorted from the building. The crowd absolutely erupts in support for Daniel and he gets out of the ring. He walks up the ramp and before disappearing he turns to the crowd. They ‘no’ chants start and eventually he makes a classy exit.

Holy crap, what an opening. Talk about setting the standard for what everyone else is going to have to follow. Is there anyone better than heel Stephanie? No, there’s not. That’s not an opinion, that is a fact. To quote Bobby, I could watch these two interact for the next three hours.

Later on…

Backstage, Naomi and Cameron are getting warmed up for a match. The Bella Twins, Brie and Nikki, interrupt them in a not so nice way. Apparently the Funkadactyls are going to be repping the cast of Total Divas in a match tonight the Bellas want to make sure they are more entertaining in the ring than they are on the show!

Shade.

Cameron simply says “Gurl. Bye.” And the Bellas shoot back by calling them losers before walking off. Naomi wants to go after them, but Cameron holds her back, saying they have better things to concentrate on. Oooooh, snap!

Naomi and Cameron looking hot in red, and ARE THOSE BELLA TWIN SHIRTS?! I want one. They better go up on Shopzone right now.

Solid segment full of attitude and full blown cattiness. Who doesn’t love Diva drama?

The opponents for the Funkadactyls are Layla and Divas Champion, AJ Lee. Michael Cole plugs the fact that AJ is the first Diva to go over one million followers on Twitter. Layla and AJ attack full force before AJ’s music even stops. The attack ends up with Cameron getting knocked out of the ring, which leaves Naomi in there with the champ. AJ hits her with a neckbreaker and goes to work on the mat. She stays on offense for awhile before Naomi tries to fight back. AJ brings her back down to reality with a gorgeous spinning heel kick, and goes for a pin. She only gets a two count as Naomi kicks out.

This Anaheim crowd is solidly behind AJ, chanting for the champ. She ends up working Naomi over on the ropes and the Total Diva is absorbing A LOT of punishment in this match. She’s finally able to shake off AJ and now it’s a race as to who gets the tag first. AJ is able to tag in Layla, and the former Diva’s Champion races over to knock Cameron off the apron. Unfortunately for Lay, Naomi is waiting to get a roll up and she ends up getting a huge victory for the Funkadactyls.

This was a great match until the end. More weird referring and Layla’s overbearing, obnoxious antics at the end were uncalled for. So much for a solid heel turn, she’s back to doing comedy. It just doesn’t work for me without Michelle McCool, and Layla definitely didn’t work for me tonight. She definitely needs to tone it down…. A LOT.

Good grief.

It’s probably for the best that my romantic holiday with Raw/WWE is coming to an end tonight. The Stephanie/Daniel Bryan beginning was HOT. The backstage segment was amazing. The match itself was pretty good, but the ending. Oh that ending was horrendous. I want to cry tears of anger, exhaustion, and everything else in between that we have to end on a note like this. To be honest, it’s probably for the best!

That being said… it looks like we have more. I guess this is my love’s way of saying “screw you” for not covering the Footlocker ad placement featuring Summer Rae and Fandango, and their ballroom dancing.

Fandango’s leg drop was beautiful, and so was Summer Rae’s outfit. It was a little odd for my taste, and but she wore baby pink, the color she absolutely slays in. I’m not sure I want to see them stuck in a feud with The Miz, but whatever. At least they’ll be on television and not just appearing in product placement ads. That said, I do like how they randomly interrupt random things, spreading their sequins and glitter joy to all of those around them. Slayed.

That’s also not the last of it either. Randy Orton‘s coronation as WWE Champion takes place with the entire roster there to watch. Stephanie is in the ring, and this segment… words can not even.

If I tried to recap every little thing that happened, I would get lost because for once I was completely wrapped up in what was going. When Stephanie embraced Randy Orton, despite their past, my eyes grew wide. When Daniel walked out and looked on stage, I know his eyes went directly to Brie. This is the biggest moment in his career right now, and I can’t think of anyone else who deserves it more. The Shield ended up laying him out at the end, picking him back up, only for DB to get laid out in the ring again. The McMahons and Orton took hands and raised them high in the air over Daniel’s fallen body.

Is it so wrong that in that moment I pictured Brie shaking with rage, Nikki holding on to her, both of them helpless to do anything. I highly doubt they end up involved in this storyline, but is it wrong for me to want Stephanie and Brie to go at it in some capacity?!

Never say never, and on that note I close this Redux. What an incredible three-peat for the Divas: SummerSlam, Total Divas, and Raw. All three shows were everything, and I’m so, so, so glad to see Stephanie back doing what she does best. I’m so glad that this weekend getaway, week long honeymoon, or whatever the hell this trip has been has ended on such a high note.

Until next time… Khaleesi out!

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