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Raw Redux (December 9th, 2013): And the Slammy Goes to…

First off all, I just want to say that each and every single person reading this Redux should feel honored. I’m not just Diva Dirt’s resident Khaleesi anymore. Oh no. I am Diva Dirt’s very own SLAMMY AWARD WINNING Khaleesi. Last night, I had the highest honored bestowed upon me, and I must say that I left the Awards last night grinning from ear to ear. For some reason, my DVR didn’t record my acceptance speech and the warm reception the Seattle crowd gave me, so just incase it didn’t air on the actual broadcast for some absurd reason, here is a transcript of my amazing speech:

“Let me just start by saying that I am so incredibly humbled and honored to accept this award on behalf of the entire crowd in that witness the Raw after WrestleMania in New Jersey. I deserve… I mean we, WE deserve this award more than any Superstar or Diva in the back deserves theirs because we we are the sole reason WrestleMania was a success. For the past two years, this group of amazing people from around the world has assembled and come together to make stars. Daniel Bryan’s revolution? That was because of us. Fandangoing? That was us.

What some of you may not realize is that Fandangoing didn’t just stop in New Jersey. We carried it on well into the night – from Penn Station to Times Square at 2 a.m. we faithfully supported the star we helped make, and this year in New Orleans we will likely do it again. I’m not sure who the breakout performer will be, or who we might choose to get behind, but you better believe that come next year at this time, I will be standing on this stage, draped in yet another gorgeous designer gown, accepting my second … our second Slammy in a row for best crowd. We are often imitated, but we will never be duplicated.

To all the other nominees, I want to say it was an honor to be nominated alongside you, but I would be lying. It wasn’t an honor. It was a mere formality. In the spirit of fairness and competition, I suppose they couldn’t just hand me, I mean us, the award, even though they should have. Just keep in mind that you will never be as passionate as us, as vocal as us, or as talked about as us. We made that weekend one of the best weekends for wrestling fans ever, period, and I am so proud to say that I was the main, I mean one of the reasons as to why.

To Dolph Ziggler, thank you for cashing in your briefcase and winning that championship, and giving me something I will never forget for as long as I live. All joking aside, I have never once witnessed someone I consider a personal favorite win a title in person, and it was truly a treat to share that moment and be in that building.

To Fandango and the original Mrs. Fandango… thank you for your perfection. You are missed so much Andrea Lynn.

And to everyone else that was in that crowd with me, thank you for memories that will last a lifetime. I share this Slammy with Steven, Jimmy, Aaron, Rachel, Terri, Dan, the other Dan, and Michael who personally made my experience the best I have ever had in my life.

Thank you so much for all the votes and support. It’s always been my dream to win a Slammy, although back in the day, it was because I was Manager of the Year, pretending I was part of the Hart Foundation managing them to yet another tag team title reign. But whatever, the fact remains, I have my Slammy. Shit, we have our Slammy.

You know what, screw it. This is all mine. We all know I was the only reason the New Jersey was so amazing anyway.”

So there you have it, my speech from last night. And I have to say that my speech was much better than the ones we heard last night. Speaking of speeches, here’s Vickie Guerrero accepting an award on The Rock‘s behalf for ‘LOL Moment of the Year’ for his rock concert.

Then later on in the night, we had the returning Eve Torres (who looked almost as beautiful as I did last night) presenting the award for Diva of the Year. To my credit, I did my best not to roll my eyes as this was going on because I didn’t want AJ Lee to try and rip my eyes out because I didn’t care about her win.

She did try and rip my eyes out when I shrieked like Bobby Burchill at a JTG autograph signing because MY BELOVED BELLA TWINS, NIKKI AND BRIE, WON DIVA OF THE YEAR!!! I may or may not have yelled “in your face AJ stans” and did my best Summer Rae salsa dance impression. And I certainly didn’t stand around and laugh manically because most of AJ’s stans probably aren’t old enough to download apps on their phones.

I did however cry my little eyes out because Nikki and Brie finally got the recognition that they deserved. And it didn’t just stop at Diva of the Year. Brie’s love, Daniel Bryan, won Superstar of the Yea, and together the two of them won Couple of Year, basically cementing last night’s broadcast as the greatest Raw in the history of Raw.

I could not be more proud of Nikki and Brie. They have come so far from their first tenure in the WWE. They have characters now, personalities, and their wrestling is getting better and better. We all got an opportunity to watch Brie grow as a singles competitor and thanks to their roles on Total Divas, they helped bring an entire new audience to the WWE.

It’s been a slow evolution getting respect back to the division, and now dropping my ‘heel’ persona, a lot of that has to do with AJ Lee. Everything she has done these past two years goes without saying, and at TLC she has a chance to defend her title once again against Natalya. Last night, Nattie squared off against Tamina Snuka and if getting overlooked for Diva of the Year didn’t sour AJ, then getting accidentally taken out by Tamina probably did.

If swear to everything Chanel that if Tamina doesn’t stop taking off her leather vest and trying to hit people with it, that I am going to kill something. At least she screwed it up this time. Maybe that will teach her! I’m curious to see what’s going to happen on SmackDown, if anything. The potential of Nattie and AJ is great and I hope they deliver come TLC.

I would be hard pressed to conclude this and not give a shout-out to Stephanie McMahon and Summer Rae. Stephanie won Insult of the Year and Summer Rae looked ravishing during Fandango’s match with Daniel Bryan.

Oh, and Stephanie was knocked loopy by Randy Orton at the end of Raw when the Championship Ascension ceremony exploded. You win some and you lose some, ‘eh?

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