Thursday, June 24, 2021

Latest Posts

WWE Superstars Redux (December 13th, 2013): Aksana vs. Kaitlyn, Round 487

What’s up Diva fans and welcome to this week’s WWE Superstars Redux. Is Beyoncé around because I swear it’s deja-vu! Whilst Queen Bey is a hot topic right now, the same sadly and probably won’t be said about Kaitlyn and Aksana, who are squaring off for the 487th time in 2013 and the second time in as many weeks. On last week’s Superstars, Aksana won… just kidding. Will Kaitlyn keep her undefeated record against Aksana alive? Obviously but let’s pretend I didn’t say that so we can keep the suspense alive.

TO THE VIDEO!

Out first is everyone’s favorite tomboy Diva Kaitlyn and she’s doing that handsign to the crowd that I have no idea what it means. Let’s hope it’s not similar to the schizophrenic sign-language man responsible for signing for South African President Jacob Zuma this week. And yes, I just referenced Jacob Zuma in a redux. It’s going to be one of the days. Out next is Aksana, who baits an over-eager fan whilst walking down the ramp. One thing you cannot take away from Aksana, she knows how to work the crowd.

The match begins a collar and elbow tie-up that Aksana gets the best of. After clubbing Kaitlyn on the back of the head, the girls stare off before grappling once more, which Kaitlyn wins when she goes to Aksana’s waistlock before slamming Aksana to the mat. It’s 1-1 it seems! Aksana is beginning to get frustrated and runs right at Kaitlyn, who manages to pull off the same move she did just a few seconds earlier. Aksana goes to kick Kaitlyn yet the former Divas Champ grabs her foes foot, spins her around and hits yet another waistlock front slam before spanking Aksana on the tush.

Aksana charges at Kaitlyn again but gets a drop-toe hold and two clotheslines for her troubles. After a pin attempt, Kaitlyn whips Aksana into the corner but gets elbowed in the jaw. Aksana then kicks Kaitlyn in her gut and proceeds to grab her by the hair and wallop her down to the mat. The Lithuanian Lovely mounts Kaitlyn and delivers a series of strikes before taunting the crowd. It seems like Aksana did too much taunting as momentum shifts back to Kaitlyn, who nails Aksana with a backbreaker.

Kaitlyn’s offence continues to roll as she decks Aksana with a shoulder tackle. Following that, she gets kicked in the face yet rebounds with a really sloppy spinebuster. That obviously isn’t to keep Aksana down though, who dodges a spear and hits her finisher, the Divo Drop! Could Aksana get the win? No.

WHY DID YOU HOOK THE NEAR LEG? WHO ONLY EVER HOOKS THE NEAR LEG?? URGH!

Moving on before I rupture a vein, Aksana goes for another cover to try and salvage her first potential win since 2007 yet Kaitlyn kicks out. Frustrated, Aksana hits a few elbow drops before pinning Kaitlyn with her feet on the bottom rope. The referee obviously sees this blatant and quite frankly terrible attempt at cheating. I don’t know whether to find this funny or not as I’m still annoyed at the booking from earlier. Aksana then kicks Kaitlyn in the ribs before applying a chickenwing style move. It’s either that, a half nelson or a sloppy amalgamation of both, I’m not too sure! Even though it’s weakly applied, I do like the viciousness Aksana has showed locking it in.

Kaitlyn gets to a vertical base yet Aksana quickly throws her back down. Then, Aksana poses to the crowd as the camera awkwardly zooms on her face and the bit of hair stuck in her mouth. Got to love a bit of random, unintentional humor. Aksana picks Kaitlyn up and hits a sideslam before doing the ‘Move That Should Not Be Named’ that is in no way sexy. After a two count, Aksana quickyl gets to her feet and yells at the crowd in a weirdly abrupt fashion, allowing Kaitlyn to get a near fall with a schoolgirl. Then out of nowhere, Kaitlyn ducks a clothesline and hits a poor Spear for the win.

Thoughts: I really liked the fun, one-upping nature of the beginning of the match and then following the botched spinebuster, it went seriously downhill for me I’m afraid. The booking behind Aksana not hooking the far leg after the Divo Drop was just annoying and illogical. If she had done the move in the heat of the moment after being pummeled for a while, I could understand how she might not realize where she was and just laid on Kaitlyn, yet she was clearly in control of the situation and she even grabbed the far leg at first, only to let go of it. So daft and too annoying to overlook to try and enjoy the rest. I didn’t care for the long zoom-in on Aksana’s face as it was weird that Aksana would just be standing there in the ring and I also didn’t like the Spear at the end. It was definitely one of Kaitlyn’s weaker ones.

One thing I did like though was that the match was of a different structure than normal. The start was entertaining and the finish was unpredictable. It’s just a shame it all fell apart in the middle. Aksana and Kaitlyn have squared off so many times and to me, it’s apparent that they don’t have chemistry at all. Some people just don’t gel with others in the ring and that’s fine. But I think we’ve now seen enough. And with that, stay tuned, Jack will be back!

Latest Posts

Don't Miss