- Total Divas
The war between Jillian Hall and the Bella Twins continues this week with Jillian recruiting a tag partner: the lovely French minx, Maryse! She’s known for having a trick or two up her sleeve, and has even managed to get a victory over them despite the twin switch. Are two blondes better than one? We’ll find out..
Jillian and Maryse are out first, the former having her headset on. Joy of joys, we shall be blessed with a song from our Siren this week! (Raw being in Lexington, KY this week, I could’ve gone to hear my homestate girl in person but alas, the opportunity was missed. I weep bitter tears over this..) She is outfitted in a shiny blue top and black pants. Maryse is immaculate in a black ensemble in the shape of her usual attires. And as I accurately predicted, Jillian calls out the Bellas by singing, “Anything you can do, I can do better…I can do anything better than you.” She puts special emphasis on the last part, her face showing her determination to finally get a win over the twins. And I see a sign in the crowd that says “Jillian is the next Lady GaGa.” My day is complete upon seeing that!
Out next are Nikki and Brie Bella, dressed in matching red outfits (complete with ruffles on the legs, as par for the course). I’m actually rather digging the outfits this week, mostly because I love red, but not feeling the design of the top. Looks too flimsy. Anyhoo, as they make their entrance into the ring, I notice for the first time just how toned their tummies are. A pang of jealousy hits me. They really are quite lovely, and have quite a bit of fire in the ring. Possible Diva Champions? Perhaps, if they keep improving their game.
The bell rings and Bella #1 starts off facing Jillian. The two lockup and B#1 is shoved back down to the mat via her hair. Jillian’s starting off strong. Then the Songstress goes to the ropes and does the first funny thing of the matchup: she dips her head forward, then flings it back, winking at the crowd. Jillian is pulling a Maryse and I am LAUGHING my ass off!! A cut to Maryse shows her jaw is dropped in sheer disbelief. She looks around as if asking, “Did everyone see what just happened..?” Yes. Yes we did. And it was awesome.
Anyhoo, by this time, B#1 is back up and grabs Jillian by the hand. Locking fingers, she bounces up and off the ropes, performing a smooth armdrag. She whips herself off the ropes but Jillian meets her with a hard clothesline. Jillian goes for a pin but only gets two. I hear in the background, “Come on Nikki!” so I can start calling these women by their names and not numbers thankfully. Brie on the apron, Nikki in the ring. Gotcha.
Jillian turns Nikki over on her stomach, digs a knee into the small of her back and jerks back on her hair. She jaws at Nikki, then counts along with the referee, releasing the hair on four. Picking her up via the hair, Jillian backs Nikki into the corner, then flings her out, tossing her flat onto the mat. Grabbing the brunette by the hair again, she drags her over to her corner and tags in the Marvelous Maryse. Beauty and brutality are a lethal mix in Maryse. She nails Nikki with a hard shot to the midsection as Jillian steps out. Pressing Nikki’s throat into the second ring, Maryse holds her there until the count of four, then gets a running start and slams her hips into Nikki’s head. A lackadaisy cover gets only two.
Maryse jaws at Nikki for a moment before getting her into a modified camel clutch. But the Bella gets up to her feet, momentarily having Maryse on her back, which draws a mini-shriek from Maryse. Nikki falls backwards, breaking Maryse’s hold on her pretty effectively. Nikki scuttles over, tagging in Brie, who’s out like lightning. She gets Maryse with some sloppy clotheslines, then a kick to her midsection. Drawing Teddy’s better half up to her feet, Brie gets a forearm in, then whips Maryse into the corner. She hits a smooth monkey flip, sending Maryse over onto her back. Brie lands a nice low dropkick into Maryse’s head/shoulders and goes for a cover. It might’ve done the trick but Jillian comes in to break up the count.
While the referee is backing Jillian up, Nikki comes in and the twins hit a double bulldog on Maryse! The ref turns to see both twins in the ring. After asertaining who is who, Nikki exits the ring, but while this is going on, Jillian has an epiphany. Akin to Paul on the road to Damascus as it were. She sees the prone Maryse and what happens next is the second funny moment of the match. She rolls Maryse out of the ring and takes her place, lying prone on her stomach. The referee turns in time to see Jillian taking her place and looks confused as all get out. So do the twins. So does Maryse, who just looks bewildered. I think Cole and Lawler are about to have seizures. And I’m laughing hysterically. This is priceless!
We hear the referee yelling, “What do you think you’re doing?!? Get outta here!” For her part, Jillian looks sheepish and tries very hard to play it off by ruffling her hair and strolling back to her corner. The ref adds, “I don’t want to see anymore of that!” Poor Jillybean raises her hands in surrender as she exits the ring. Our poor Pop Princess! In the meanwhile, Maryse has steathily made her way around the ring and at this moment rolls back in and blindsides Brie (yes, I kept track throughout all that craziness!), knocking her down hard. She grabs the brunette by the hair and makes the tag to Jillian, both pounding Brie with kicks and hits to the head and stomach.
Jillian hoists Brie up onto her shoulders and delivers a nice somoan drop. She then mounts Brie and wails on her as the referee calls for a halt to this. He finally has to grab Jillian by the stomach and pull her off Brie, backing her up. This presents an opportunity and the twins cash in on it: Nikki grabs Brie and pulls her out, then takes her place. Maryse, however, spots this from the apron and goes ballistic, trying everything she can to get the referee to turn around. But we know how this story goes…he pays no heed to Maryse’s calls, and Jillian is so focused on the ref she doesn’t see the switch. As Jillian goes to pick Nikki up, Nikki grabs Jillian’s legs, pulls them out from under her and flips over, getting a jackknife pin for the 1-2-3! Those darn Bellas have done it again!! “Twin magic” as Cole calls it. No, more like selective referee attention disorder. Maryse is shaking her head as Jillian explodes in fustration. My poor Jillybean!
Yet again, another sneaky win by the Bella Twins. Jillian had a good idea by recruiting a partner in her quest to turn the tables on the duo but there was one flaw – she seemingly forgot she looked nothing like Maryse when attempting the switcheroo. This match was a lot of fun to watch, Jillian is becoming the highlight of my week – and she’s not even winning these matches! But it’s fun to wait and see what she’ll try next. She shines as the comedic heel and it’s good practice for the Bellas as well. Makes me wonder what she has in store for them next week…