NXT Redux (September 28th, 2010): The Most Ridiculously Pointless Episode of NXT Ever!

Previously on NXT…

Lay-Cool paid a visit to their old stomping grounds and literally stomped the crap right out of Kaitlyn. AJ continued to roll and secure her status as fan favorite of season three. Naomi gave us all hope that the Diva future is bright when she squared off against Michelle McCool as part of the six-woman tag team match main event. Kelly Kelly went ghetto when she stepped up and challenged Lay-Cool on behalf of Naomi and Jamie. Aksana revealed a huge secret to Goldust about how good her chances were of being deported and how she would get beat with a shovel if she returned home. And the best part of the show, CM Punk stepped up and blessed the WWE Universe with his brilliant commentary.

Will these storylines continue? And more importantly, will Punk keep his promise to remain on commentary?

This week NXT begins in it’s typical fashion. The four pros in attendance (Vickie Guerrero, Alicia Fox, Primo Colon, and Kelly Kelly) are sitting on the stage and the handsome Matt Striker (dressed in an amazing Argyle pullover sweater) introduces the rookies. Aksana, AJ, Kaitlyn, Jamie, Naomi, and Maxine make their way out and Striker says that the competition is now starting to heat up. He announces that Wednesday, starting at noon, the WWE Universe can vote along with the pros for their favorite rookie Diva. Striker makes his way down the ramp while speaking and tells us that being a WWE Diva means you have to have athleticism. He stops in front of a shiny, red wheelbarrow.

Each Diva has to take the wheelbarrow and run around the ring. Whichever Diva has the fastest time will win the competition. The rookie Diva with the most challenge wins will have immunity from next week’s elimination. Maxine is called to the starting line first. She gets ready to take off but that naughty tease in the argyle suggests that the wheelbarrow should have something in it. He takes a shot at Michael Cole in the process.

Unfortunately for all of us, horror music starts to play and the annoying little creature known as Hornswoggle skips out from the backstage area. He’s going to sit in the wheelbarrow. God help us. If Hornswoggle falls out of the wheelbarrow, then whoever caused him to fall will get eliminated. Maxine echoes what we all feel and rolls her eyes. Nonetheless she takes her turn and clocks in with a time of 14.7 seconds. That’s the standard to beat. Here are the results of the wheelbarrow challenge:

Kaitlyn: 12.0
Aksana: 13.9
Jamie: 14.4
Maxine: 14.7
Naomi: 15.2
AJ: 17.7

Kaitlyn wins the challenge and celebrates with Hornswoggle and then Vickie. If my memory serves me correctly and sometimes it doesn’t, she’s now tied with Naomi and AJ for most challenge victories. The show goes to commercial break. When it returns, Cole and Josh Mathews set up AJ’s video package.

AJ introduces herself to us and says that she is representing all of the nerds. She says her style is definitely different and she never minded being the girl who stayed home on Saturday nights to play video games. AJ says that growing up was difficult because her parents weren’t really wealthy. Her father was a mechanic and her mother worked as a home health aid. She says that her parents did the best they could and that was fine with AJ. She didn’t mind not having a lot because she had her family. AJ reveals that she’s never wanted to be anything other than a WWE Diva. One of her fondest memories is standing in line with her father for eight hours just to get Wrestlemania tickets. AJ laughs that they got the worst seats ever and during the event, they could barely see anything. AJ says that at the end of the event her father apologized to her for not being able to get her better seats but she reassured him that it was alright because one day she would be competing in that ring. AJ says that there is no getting rid of her because her passion is what’s going to lead her to the top. Her package concludes and after Josh praises AJ, they reveal that “Diss The Diva” will be up later on tonight. The show goes to commercial again.

This time NXT returns with the Raw Rebound. People still fail to care. After the Raw Rebound is finished, a “Legendary” movie trailer airs. Once again, people fail to care. The show once again takes a break. When it comes back this time, Hell In A Cell is briefly mentioned and then Cole and Mathews reveal that starting next week, NXT will be seen exclusively on WWE.com. It’s now a web show. Congratulations to everyone involved. They remind us that the first elimination is next week and give us a nice little intro into Kaitlyn’s video package.

The Houston, Texas native introduces herself and says that growing up she was a huge tomboy who played soccer for thirteen years. As she got older she got into fitness and figure competitions and even placed in the top five of a huge competition. She was the youngest girl there so it was a big achievement. Kaitlyn says that up on stage she has to be a two dimensional person and it never really felt like she could show off her personality. She says that in the WWE she feels like she’s getting that chance. Kaitlyn says that one thing that stands out about her is that unlike the other girls, she can do the robot. Kaitlyn says that she wants to be the girl everyone can laugh with and she tries to be funny. She’s not afraid to try new things and push the envelope so to speak. She wants young girls to know that it’s alright to beautiful and athletic, and to have a personality. She wants them to be who they are and if that’s goofy, then they should be goofy. The WWE Diva Kaitlyn most admires is the Glamazon Beth Phoenix. She’s the total package and her presence just speaks for itself. Kaitlyn says that she wants to be the next Diva so bad and she is willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

Her package concludes and Diss The Divas is teased again. The show goes to commercial. When it comes back, we’re treated to the entire episode of last week’s SmackDown. Well, perhaps not the entire episode but it sure feels like it. Cheesy horror music begins to play while Kane starts to speak. Undertaker and Paul Bearer make an appearance. And yeah… no one cares. Another commercial break takes place.

Finally, we get the super hyped Diss The Divas challenge. The girls are standing in the ring with Striker and he tells Aksana that she is up first. The object of this is to tell everyone why you deserve to win and why the other girls do not. Striker hands Aksana the mic and she thanks him, then she tells everyone to look at her. She poses for a few minutes and then says that Aksana goes to the gym every day and does five hundred sit-ups and five hundred crunches. Then she runs ten miles. She takes care of herself and the other girls… well they apparently eat pancakes every morning. Aksana says that all the rookie Divas wanna be Aksana.

AJ goes second. She says she is going to be the bigger woman and not diss the other girls. She says they’re all beautiful with great bodies, and that’s fine. But she deserves to be here more than they do because she’s not so typical. AJ wants to redefine the word “diva” because not all Divas have to wear lipstick and high heels. She says that Divas can like video games, action movies, and cars. AJ says that she is a Diva who loves this business and that makes her different than every girl who is in the ring with her. She says that the WWE Universe should pick her.

The third contestant is Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn has a smirk on her face and says that before she disses any Diva she wants to do an impression. She sticks her butt out and starts walking while asking the crowd who she is. Naomi doesn’t take to kindly to this and she sends Kaitlyn flying by kicking her square in the butt. Kaitlyn laughs it up and gets up and tells Naomi that was uncalled for. Kaitlyn tells the WWE Universe to remember what just happened because she’s going to be the girl who fell flat on her butt and who won season three of NXT. Striker calls her out and says she fell on her face but he understands her point. Jamie goes next.

Jamie points at Aksana and says she could talk about that one and how judging from her outfit she looks like she belongs in the circus… ON A TRAPEEEEEEZE. Or she could talk about AJ and how she acts like a ten year old on Christmas morning everytime NXT is broadcast. But Jamie doesn’t need to do that because she knows that she is the best one here and that she is going to win season three of NXT. She attempts to give the microphone to Kaitlyn and Striker reminds her that it’s Naomi’s turn. He also reminds the girls that they should take advantage of their time and try to convince the WWE Universe why they should vote.

Naomi goes and begins by saying that her mother taught her that if she doesn’t have anything nice to say then she shouldn’t say anything at all. However, if this competition is about wrestling and entertainment then she has all the other girls beat. Naomi says one other thing she’d like to address is the fact that during Kaitlyn’s confessional last week, the Texan attempted to talk smack about her. Naomi turns to Kaitlyn and tells her that the only reason why she won the challenge is because she [Naomi] messed up. Naomi starts going off and tells Kaitlyn that if she would have went any slower then Vickie would have had a better time. Naomi continues on by saying that Kaitlyn is far to cocky for reasons she doesn’t even understand. Naomi warns her that next time she has something to say, she better say it to her face. Kaitlyn isn’t at all bothered by this and she begins to mock Naomi’s booty again. Naomi hands Striker the microphone.

Maxine is last.

Maxine stands in the center of the ring and starts to talk about how she’s sick of the typical Diva and how all of them are the same. Kaitlyn moves behind Jamie and shoves Naomi pretty hard, which is something Naomi doesn’t really take to kindly too. Maxine is ranting about how the girls are way to happy and way to smiley, and she accuses them of smiling even when they lose. Maxine begins to ask the gentlemen in the audience why they want a nice girl anyway. Kaitlyn and AJ seem very bored by her speech and they turn towards each other and start doing the robot. Their antics continue while Maxine is speaking and Jamie pushes them both back. Kaitlyn is not bothered and she keeps it up until Maxine’s buzzer sounds. Diss The Divas is over thankfully.

Stiker goes to the crowd and asks them with help picking the winner. It’s pretty close between AJ and Naomi, but after Striker asks again AJ wins her third challenge and for all intents and purposes will be immune from elimination next week. AJ has another seizure and basically stalks poor Striker until she’s able to jump in his arms. She showers him with kisses and continues to celebrate until Vickie decides to spoil the party.

She walks down the ramp screeching her catchphrase and gets in the ring. She’s totally disgusted and goes right to Kaitlyn. Vickie says that week after week she has tried to mold Kaitlyn into someone who is a reflection of herself; someone who is powerful and perfect. Vickie demands that the crowd feel her pain because of what the WWE has given her to work with. Kaitlyn fires back that since the season has started all she’s done is try her best and all Vickie has done is bring her down. Kaitlyn says that the first elimination is right around the corner and that she’s not going to have another opportunity to do this so she’s is going to step it up. She challenges Vickie to a match. Vickie accepts the challenge and tells Kaitlyn that next week she is going to prove to everyone who the pro is and who the rookie is.

And she slaps the crap out of Kaitlyn.

That sets off a catfight that Vickie comes out the clear winner in. She complete kicks Kaitlyn’s butt until Striker pulls Vickie off of and away from Kaitlyn. Mathews and Cole remind us to tune into the show next week on WWE dot com and we go back to the ring where Striker is checking on Kaitlyn to make sure she’s okay. They review what just happened and the last episode of NXT on SyFy finally comes to a close.

Geeze. Where do I even begin? I wanted to run down the top five things from this week’s episode but I’m not sure if five things even happened. We’re bombarded with recaps and movie trailers, and the Divas definitely took a backseat tonight. They got a horrible send-off and I’m not even excited for next week’s episode. I like to think there is a silver lining in every cloud but is there? We were forced to watch Hornswoggle. That in itself is enough to make a sane person contemplate suicide. To top that off Diss The Diva was horrible and just proved that the majority of the girls shouldn’t be given microphones. I’m probably being a little harsh, but the show just irritated me to no end tonight. The WWE put absolutely no effort into this pre-elimination episode and they really gave us no reason to vote for one girl over the other.

Next week the show will be on WWE.com like previously mentioned so if you want to see who actually goes home, then tune in. It probably won’t be as bad as this episode was, but I’m not holding my breath. Vickie versus Kaitlyn is already scheduled and by the time Tuesday rolls around who knows what other brilliant plan the ‘E will come up with. Should be a doozy. Until then, Cryssi out!

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