- Total Divas
Five weeks of build, anticipation, heart break, and horror culminated last night in the very first elimination for season three of NXT. One poor girl would have her dreams shattered as she is sent packing back to Tampa. Also this week, the Aksana/Goludst angle heats up as an immigration officer rears his ugly head (literally… he has an ugly head) and threatens our favorite Lithuanian. The Rookie Divas try their best to master the art of faux bull riding and of course, a Diva talent show takes place.
Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuun!
This surely gets redundant but once again NXT (now exclusively on WWE.com) kicks off in grandiose fashion with Matt Striker announcing the rookie Divas. Naomi, Aksana, AJ, Jamie, Maxine, and Kaitlyn make their way onto the stage where the Pros (including Alicia Fox, Vickie Guerrero, Kelly Kelly, Brie Bella, and Nikki Bella) are already sitting. Striker teases the girls that this is the biggest night of their young careers. He explains how things are going to work tonight and then brings us into our first rookie challenge of the evening.
It’s a bull riding competition complete with mechanical bull.
Striker says that someone just has to demonstrate their strength and dexterity and hop on top of the bull. The rookie girls apparently need to be shown how it’s done. The Bella Twins end up volunteering and those weirdos out there with a twin fetish definitely get what they need to get them through the rest of the night. Brie and Nikki do a respectful job of demonstrating how to ride a fake bull. The rookie girls take their turns. The finishing order is as followed:
Aksana wins her first challenge and she celebrates in spectacular fashion. A much needed win for Aksana and as she basks in the glory of that win, Michael Cole and Josh Mathews let us know that she will be facing Maxine next. NXT cuts away very briefly but when it returns, Goldust and Aksana are waiting inside the ring. Goldust has the Million Dollar Championship with him and a video package of what went down on Raw between Goldie, Maryse, and Teddy is played.
Personally, I had forgotten anything other than Nexus/Cena existed. Thank you NXT!
Alicia and Maxine make their way to the ring next. Maxine is incredibly short compared to the long and lean Alicia Fox. That’s kind of hilarious. Maxine gets inside the ring and the pros take their rightful positions on the outside. The referee calls for the bell and the two rookie Divas begin to circle one another. Aksana goes on offense first by taking Maxine’s arm and working it over. The sassy brunette does a nice sell job and begins to elbow Aksana in the side of the head in an attempt to get her to let up. Aksana stumbles back and into the corner and Maxine follows her. She hits Aksana with a few nice shots but Aksana quickly reverses it and nails Maxine with a nice looking kick. She goes to follow it up in ugly fashion and then goes for a cover. Maxine is able to kick out and both women fight back to their feet. Aksana continues to dominate but Maxine is finally able to gain a bit of the advantage when she gets the blonde down on the mat via neck breaker. She goes for her own cover but Aksana manages to kick out of it.
Maxine ends up grounding Aksana with an unorthodox submission type of move. She places her leg across Aksana’s throat and wrenches on the arm. It’s pretty cool. Aksana eventually reverses it and floats over into a cover but Maxine kicks out. Both girls jump to their feet and Aksana nearly decapitates Maxine with a JBL-inspired Clothesline from Hell. She does it one more time before bouncing off the ropes and kicking poor Maxine in the head. Maxine is down and that gives Aksana ample opportunity to go for the cover. Luckily, Maxine is able to kick out but that doesn’t disturb Aksana. She’s right back to work and tosses Maxine into the corner. Maxine fights back with her own little bit of JBL-ness and Aksana is nearly destroyed. Maxine is fired but and goes for the cover BUT Aksana reverses it. She pins Maxine’s shoulders to the mat and picks up her very first victory on NXT. Maxine, as well as the rest of the world, are stunned.
Aksana celebrates her surprising victory with Goldust and NXT fades into the Raw Rebound. The entire episode of Raw (or so it seems is played) and when all the pointless garbage is finished, NXT returns with the final challenge of the night; a Diva talent show! Each girl has prepared a talent to entertain the WWE Universe with. Aksana is volunteered to go first. Striker asks her what her talent is Aksana very simply replies “push-ups.” What happens next is probably the sickest looking push-up (and sexiest) ever seen. Everyone is pretty surprised by Aksana’s talent and rightfully so. I bet half the men on the roster with the exception of John Morrison couldn’t pull off a push-up like that. Up second is Naomi and she busts out a pretty good rap. If the whole wrestling thing doesn’t really work out for her, then she at least has a back-up plan. After Naomi, AJ takes her turn and her talent is being flexible. There’s probably some kind of sexual remark I could make but I won’t. At least AJ jokes about trying to give Cole a personality before she begins. Jamie goes fourth and out of all the talents she could have picked, she selected turning men on as her talent. To prove that she could turn a man on, she grabbed Striker and kissed him. I’m seeing red right now.
After the shock of seeing Jamie make out with my favorite fantasy man, I moved on. Kaitlyn goes fifth and her talent is her artistic ability. She sets up her easel and begins to draw. Once she’s finished she reveals her picture to the Universe and it’s a not so flattering drawing of her pro, Vickie. Vickie isn’t really impressed and Kaitlyn cuts a promo saying that she’s gotten Vickie down pretty well on this canvas and come later on tonight she can’t wait to get Vickie down on this canvas (meaning the ring). Up last is our resident heel babe, Maxine. Maxine is holding a whipped cream pie and she begins to speak. She says that last week she had some drama with Hornswoggle and basically it’s been eating away at her inside. She really wants to apologize to him because she feels awful and she claims that she baked this pie just for him. Maxine calls the little creature out and sure enough, he begins to walk down to the ring. Oh joy. Maxine gets down on her knees and begins to taunt the thing with the pie. She rubs some on his face just to be hateful and we love her for it. Unfortunately, Hornswoggle ends up getting the last laugh because he slams that pie right in Maxine’s face. Poor girl. Pie in the face to go along with her almost broken neck. Definitely not her night.
Striker asks the crowd who the winner should be and it’s really no contest. Kaitlyn wins by a damn landslide and because of her victory, she’s now tied with AJ for the most challenge wins. In order to see which girl gets immunity tonight, Striker asks the crowd to break the tie. Once again Kaitlyn is determined the winner and because of that she can’t be eliminated tonight. Also, Kaitlyn’s match with Vickie is next.
Before the match, the cameras cut to the back where Goldust is standing with Aksana. The Golden One is basically molesting that poor championship belt again and pretty soon the popular NXT duo are interrupted by a hideous looking immigration officer. He tells Aksana she has four weeks to prove her citizenship or she will be deported back to her home country. Goldust comes to her defense, but the officer isn’t interested. He walks and Aksana is freaking out. She doesn’t want to go back home because she will end up getting beat with a shovel. Goldust plays hero and vows that together they will conquer Aksana’s immigration problem.
The Kaitlyn/Vickie match is up and they highlight the feud with a pretty decent video package. Dolph Ziggler’s theme music hits and Vickie walks to the ring with her Intercontinental Champion of a boyfriend. She’s looking pretty fabulous in her tight ring gear. Love it. Kaitlyn is out at next and the match is underway!
Well not really.
Despite the fact the bell has already sounded, Vickie tries to delay the match with stall tactics. She does jumping jacks. She does stretches. Kaitlyn isn’t impressed and she tries to attack her pro but the referee holds her back despite the fact this match is official. Kaitlyn’s pretty furious and finally she gets Vickie down with a drop toe hold. Vickie freaks out over Kaitlyn’s burst of offense and she begins to check her face. Vickie thinks she’s bleeding and backs up in the corner holding her lip. Kaitlyn goes to the corner to check things out but Vickie kicks her in the stomach and slaps her to the side. Kaitlyn is pretty angry and she slaps Vickie back. Vickie crumbles to the ground holding her face. It’s hilarious. Eventually, Vickie gets out of the ring and she begins to complain to Dolph on the outside. Kaitlyn reaches to try and pull Vickie back inside the ring but the evil Vickie jerks Kaitlyn out of the ring by her hair. Kaitlyn spills to the outside and Vickie starts to unleash all her pent up frustrations. She throws Kaitlyn into the guardrail a few times and then kicks her around the ring. Vickie finally tosses her rookie back inside and she follows her in. She begins to scream at Kaitlyn and slap her in the head. The crowd is trying to urge Kaitlyn on but right now Vickie is in control. She kicks Kaitlyn a few times, helps her up, and slams the blonde’s head into the turnbuckle…twice.
They struggle against the ropes and the referee has to break it up. Vickie briefly backs off but she throws Kaitlyn down neck first across the second rope. She starts to choke her using the ropes as leverage and her leg as the weapon and Kaitlyn is pretty dazed. Vickie tosses her to the side and starts to berate Dolph. She calls Kaitlyn a girl and calls herself a woman, and wonders why Dolph would want a girl instead of a woman. The IC Champ slams his hand down on the mat in frustration. He just wants Vickie to get this win so they can all move on. Vickie goes back on the attack and she lays Kaitlyn across the bottom rope. She stands on top of Kaitlyn and pulls up so that all her wait is directly across Kaitlyn’s throat and neck. Then she knocks Kaitlyn down to the mat. Vickie is really impressive. Vickie wants to follow it up with a suplex but she just can’t do it. She claims her back hurts and Kaitlyn seizes the opportunity to execute her own suplex. She quickly covers Vickie but the SmackDown consultant is able to get out of it.
Vickie holds her lower back in pain and scoots towards the ropes. She’s no longer in a good mood and it seems like Dolph is about to be the target of her verbal beatdown. She starts screaming at him after she moves out of Kaitlyn’s way. The Texas rookie goes flying back. Vickie continues to scream at her boyfriend and that distraction allows Kaitlyn to roll Vickie up and secure the victory. Oh boy. Dolph is stunned at what has just transpired and he slowly climbs into the ring. Kaitlyn is waiting to maul him and he does hug her back, but when Vickie turns around he pushes Kaitlyn off. This continues for a few seconds and finally a disgusted Vickie climbs from the ring and gingerly makes her way the ramp.
The elimination is next!
After a small break, Striker is with the girls at ringside. He says that Kaitlyn is the only girl safe tonight and that the pros and the fans have cast their votes. They don’t care enough to do an actual poll so the photos of the girls that were taken before the season began flash on the screen. After a few dramatic seconds, Jamie’s picture pops up and she is the first girl eliminated from season three of NXT. Kaitlyn hugs her and Striker gives her the microphone. Jamie thanks the fans and compliments them on being the best in the world. She thanks the Bellas and all the pros for their support. Jamie wishes all the other rookie girls good luck because they’ve been working for this just like she has and she bows out gracefully. Striker tells all of us to tune in next week and that concludes this episode of season three.
Tonight’s elimination was a surprise to me, but it was a pleasant surprise. I am not bothered by Jamie’s elimination. She was by far one of the worst Divas when it came to cutting promos, and she did nothing for me personally every time she stepped inside the ring. It sucks for Jamie because she was the rookie girl with the advantage. She had face time on television. The fans know her. She basically had a leg up on the competition but it amounted to nothing. She failed to get the fans behind her and when you’re the Keanu Reeves of NXT aka stiff and wooden, with no personality, that sort of thing happens. I wouldn’t feel to bad for Jamie. She’s probably going to go back to ring announcing. I feel like that is her niche in wrestling because she was good at it. I love the fact she was so classy on her way out the door. She didn’t run down the girls. She didn’t bash the fans. She remained posed and eloquent, and I really really respect that.
Lets run down the top five things that happened on NXT tonight. Coming in at number five tonight was AJ’s part during the talent show. I couldn’t care less that she was flexible or that cheesey porn music played in the background. What I care about is the fact that AJ got on that microphone and joked that her talent was going to be attempting to get Michael Cole a personality. That was epic and the look on his face was priceless. I love it when people annoy Michael Cole and if push comes to shove and Kaitlyn gets eliminated in the near future, I will be voting for AJ simply because Saint Michael of the Cole Mine does not approve.
At number four tonight we have Jamie’s elimination. What’s stated above doesn’t bare repeating but on a more serious note, at least we don’t have to listen to campaign speech like promos anymore.
Kaitlyn versus Vickie was pretty good. Their match is number three tonight. A personality and a greener than green rookie managing to put on a more entertaining match than anything shown on Raw or SmackDown in recent weeks has to tell you something about the state of WWE television. Vickie is a heat magnet. People are draw to her like a moth to a flame. That’s such a stupid analogy but nothing clever is coming to mind at this point. You get what I’m saying though. People love to hate Vickie and Kaitlyn is the clear beneficiary of that. She’s arguably the most over NXT rookie and she took one hell of a beating tonight. Vickie whipped Kaitlyn’s butt on the outside of the ring. It wasn’t pretty. It certainly wasn’t poetic. But it didn’t have to be. It told a story. Vickie Guerrero really doesn’t like Kaitlyn. She’s insanely jealous over the fact Kaitlyn and Dolph may or may not have a thing going on. I love it.
And speaking of love, I love the fact that no one got killed tonight. Maxine took one of the nastiest bumps I’ve ever seen in the ring and the fact she got up, walked it off, and continued on with the program just speaks volumes about her tenancity. We can sit here and pick these girls apart because they’re not trained wrestlers and some of them aren’t even athletes but they’re still getting in there and doing the best they can. Maxine is hardcore and I applaud her for going on as if everything was just business as usual. Maxine’s sick bump, as if you couldn’t already tell, is definitely the runner-up for highlight of the night.
After all that, you have got to be asking yourself ‘what ever could the highlight of the night be?’ Well, it’s real simple. It involves one golden superstar and his spunky little foreign dollface of a rookie. Once again, Aksana and Goldust made magic in the form of a backstage segment. Aksana’s storyline of facing deportation was actually followed up on and this time she was given the devastating news that she has exactly four weeks to get her Visa straightened out. Goldust marched to her defense but the horrible immigration officer just wasn’t having it. Aksana was left to ponder what life would be like once she returned to Lithuania and once again, terrible images of getting beat with a shovel danced in her head. Like a true knight and shining armor, Goldust vowed that they would defeat immigration together. Siiiigh.
That about wraps another stellar edition of NXT. I hope all of you have enjoyed reading this Redux as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. Until nxt week (see what I did?), Cryssi out!