Impact Write-Up (January 13th, 2011): The Wrath of a Woman Scorned

Could it be?! Oh yes! It is time for yet another edition of the weekly Impact Write-Up with yours truly. Last week, we witnessed a rather weird tag team match-up between two teams that had to have been picked out of a hat. However, with an assist from the Elbow of Death, evil prevailed once again. This week, we have a returning Knockout surrounded by major controversary. We also have yet another tag team match but this time, the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Titles are on the line. Will the current odd couple champions maintain or will the power duo come by yet another knockout victory? What kind of trouble will the former Mrs. Angle get herself into? You’re only going to find out by following me down the rabbit hole! Don’t be afraid. I’ll hold your hand and in the end, I promise to give you cookies. Yes, the soft kind. Now GO!

Our first glimpse into Knockout beauty this week, comes in the form of a returning Karen Jarrett. She starts out the show, as the Knockouts should every week, by arriving to the arena with her husband, Jeff. Karen looks gorgeous, as usual, fabulous in a bright blue strapless dress that I adore. New marriage does a body good, apparently. The couple canoodle and smooch before heading into the arena. A little while later, they are caught walking to the Immortal locker room when Jarrett stops her. He wants to make sure that she’s ready for this encounter. Karen says that she’s been sitting at home for two years and she’s never been more ready in her life. You go girl! Rawr!

Later in the show, Karen and Jeff Jarrett are seen walking down the backstage corridor. Jeff cuts a small promo on Kurt Angle, who just happens to be Karen’s ex-husband and his opponent at Genesis. Karen admires her man and he blushes on her just as much. He asks her to do just one thing which is not to lose her temper. Karen claims she’s as cool as a cucumber but by the look on Jeff’s face, he thinks otherwise. I think we all know that if your ex-husband was making your life hell and you’d sat back for two years watching, you’d be like a ticking time bomb. It is time to let the drama unfold!

For those who don’t know, Jarrett’s appearance in the ring is a “retirement” of his MMA career, if that’s what you want to call it. He comes out sans Karen, which is who I came to see. To sum it up, Jarrett talks about how great he is then finally says that behind every man of war is a great woman. It is time to introduce the lovely and vivacious, Mrs. Karen Jarrett! My how she’s changed. Now she’s bald with a salt and pepper beard. No, wait, that’s just Kurt Angle stealing the spotlight. He runs through Jarrett’s entourage and manages into the ring but Karen is not going to stand for it. She comes out screaming, even going so far as to drop the government name on Kurt Steven Angle. Because we all wanted to know that.

Karen says that she has sat at home while Kurt has played games with their personal and professional lives. It has been a bit of a blurred line. Angle turns his back but Karen demands that he turn and look at her. “Don’t you freaking turn your back on me!” God, she is gold on the microphone. I would love to see Karen take on another certain mouthpiece in an opposing company, if you follow. She says that Kurt will steal the joy from their lives no more. NO MORE! And next week, the entire world is going to hear her side. HER SIDE! She promises that it is going to be a night that Angle will never forget. Let me just insert here that if TNA doesn’t make Karen Jarrett a permanent part of their show, they are so missing out on a fabulous addition.

SHE’S A KILLER QUEEN! Out first on the coveted crotch rocket are Tara and Madison Rayne. Let me just say that I actually really love Madison’s new theme. I’ve got to get that ringtone. Haha. Anyway, back to the Knockouts. It seems our darling champion has finally switched it up in regards to her ring attire. Granted, we’ve seen it before but I am so relieved to see that she’s finally done a load of laundry. Tara, on the other hand, has on an outfit that looks like it requires a safe word. Her hair is looking fabulous, however, with her new soft brown highlights. It’s a refreshing change from the fire engine red. Kudos on a mature upgrade.

While Tara jumps in the ring, Madison waves and blows kisses to her faithful subjects, taken back by their…affection. Ahem. A short video package is shown from Genesis, highlighting the questionable finish to the Knockouts Championship match. Dirty and deceptive but she still manages to reign so humble over her kingdom. Okay. I have to stop because I’m being interrupted by a theme song we’ve never heard before that apparently, belongs to Winter. It’s eerie and comes along with a weird glow on the big screen. I can’t even begin to explain it further.

Instead of getting an entrance into the Impact Zone from one half of the tag team champions, we go backstage to Velvet Sky and Angelina Love. Velvet still can’t seem to understand how her tag partner and best friend ended up sharing titles with the creepy Winter. She wants an explanation and Angelina tells her she can’t, because everytime she turns around, she’s there. As if on cue, Winter appears and tells Angelina that they have to go and drags the Canadian beauty away before the conversation can continue. It’s like a bad episode of The Twilight Zone, without the strange noise in the closet.

Dragging Angelina out onto the ramp, Winter raises their hands only for Angelina to jerk hers away. Angelina is clad in her usual cut out pants and small matching top while Winter, living in her true style, is decked out in black and burgundy. I love her grey boots. I wouldn’t normally imagine that as proper ring attire but to each her own. Walking ahead of her stalker/tag partner/stalker and we get a video package of recent events, leading up to this match. Sarita and Velvet’s night of bondage. The sneak and steal from Winter on Madison. The whole shebang. Thought it couldn’t get any creepier? Winter totally pervs on Angelina with her eyes as she gets in the ring, ‘letting the pigeons loose’! Don’t pretend you didn’t see it!

Regardless of admiration, this match is going to happen. The referee rings the bell with Angelina and Madison starting things off with a lock up. A quick flip over roll-up from Angelina and we get an early one count pin attempt. I understand it exerts energy from your opponent but is it necessary to take the easy way out every time? With an answer to my question, Angelina goes for another schoolgirl but Madison isn’t going to take that route. The two women get back up on their feet and the Knockouts champion lays a knee to her opponent’s midsection. A closed fist to the chest and Madison sends Angelina across the ring into the ropes, but it backfires when Angelina stops her fast. A firem…woman’s carry and the defending tag team champion is in for another cover. One..barely a two and Madison is officially pissed. “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!” No, Madison. We have no idea..please, tell us.

Madison tries to kick Angelina in the abdomen but Angelina turns the tables, dropping her with a jawbreaker. A flying takedown, followed up by a flying heel kick and Angelina is revved up. Madison doesn’t know what to think and scrambles after the official, trying to plead that her face is hurt. This provides just enough of a distraction for Tara to get involved, slamming Angelina back by her hair. The first tag of the night and a double team effort ensues. Winter springs in the ring but the referee is quick to catch her, having no idea what’s going on behind his back. I always find that so convenient. They NEVER know. Ever.

Amidst the chaos, there looks to be a repeat of this past Sunday when Madison starts shaking out her gloved hand. Tara takes a firm grip on Angelina and just when it seems we could have another knockout punch…here comes Mickie James! She flies down the ramp and jerks Madison right out onto the floor, knocking her flat on her ass with a punch of her own. Tara tries to help her partner but ends up getting a shot to the face for her efforts. I can’t even begin to count how many times Mike Tenay said the word ‘knockout’ in a span of sixty seconds. Haha. All I know is Mickie is hellbent on trying to get that glove off of Madison Rayne. I’m sure she’s just as curious as we all are, dying to know what’s in there. But Madison isn’t going to let that happen and she manages to get away with Mickie in hot pursuit. Run, baby, run!

While Mickie and Madison are playing a game of tag, Angelina and Tara are still down in the ring. Winter is itching on the outside, waiting for a tag. This is a major spot for an advantage factor and thankfully, Angelina comes to her feet first. However, Tara is right behind her and goes for Angelina’s face with a swinging elbow, brace in full force. Angelina ducks, connects with a desperate bicycle kick and makes a snappy tag to Winter. This is the part that convinced me Winter is part monkey. She practically floats to the top turnbuckle and dives down onto Tara with a rough clothesline. And obviously, she pushed the rage button on the way down. Winter wastes no time straddling Tara and clobbering her left and right, screaming like a banshee. I definitely love a great psychotic character and she is very close to winning the prize. If I told you what that prize was, I’d have to force Mae Young on you. ;)

Winter, still screaming, slaps what looks to be a rear choke/body stretch submission of some sort on Tara. She is relentless and almost as soon as the referee checks on Tara, she looks like she’s out cold. A raise of the arm and the official calls for the bell but Winter is extremely reluctant to let go. With urgency from the referee, Winter finally flings Tara to the mat and Angelina cannot believe what she’s just seen. Neither can I. Winter is fierce, in every sense of the word. She is also quick to celebrate but Angelina is still far too creeped out. I’m pretty certain that everyone in the Knockouts division is just a little spooked.

The winners of the match and STILL TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions, Winter and Angelina Love!

Thoughts: THANK GOD FOR KAREN JARRETT! I love her. I love her character. She has always fascinated me. I’m so happy she’s back. TNA needs a fierce talker and there is nothing like seeing a fierce woman lay the smack down on someone. To see her go head to head in a scream-off against Vickie Guerrero would just be incredible. I am so excited for next week. I am dying to see Karen lay the smack down on Kurt. Their tumultuous relationship intrigues me almost as much as the fact that she married Jeff Jarrett.

I liked the tag match this week. Of course, there can always be more actual wrestling but it was interesting. We haven’t seen Angelina or Winter in action since they won the titles so it was nice to see them in the ring. Their storyline intrigues me and, as I’ve been saying, I am very curious to see where it goes. And let me just add here that I loved the end to the match. Yes, it was fun to watch Mickie chase Madison off but seeing a match end in an actual submission just makes my heart flutter. Winter was fierce as hell.

Until next week, my darlings! May you all be blessed with glitter slap bracelets and jolly ranchers! Much love!

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