- Total Divas
It’s the return of the Armchair Creative Team! You’ve probably heard of the term ‘armchair quarterback’: someone who sits on the sidelines and feels they know best. Similarly, the Armchair Creative Team is our own spin on that term, as we lend our ideas to WWE’s Creative Team for possible storylines. Okay, it’s a trillion percent likely that none of our ideas will ever come to be — but there’s nothing wrong with a little fantasizing!
This time we tackle how WWE should handle Awesome Kong’s debut to the company. Three of our writers have weighed in with their storyline ideas. Which one would you most like to see come to life? Read the three pitches and then vote! And as always, you can share your own ideas in the comments.
So playing off something I heard about there potentially being a female Nexus member… here we go. Over the next few weeks and post Royal Rumble, the Nexus under the guidance of CM Punk leave the WWE in a wake of destruction. Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel take the Tag Team Championships back from Santino and Kozlov, while David Otunga ends up feuding with and winning the United States Championship from Daniel Bryan. CM Punk has entered into a feud with Randy Orton, the new WWE Champion after he defeats the Miz at the Royal Rumble, and one night during the ending segment of Raw after a horrible Nexus beatdown of Randy Orton, Punk cuts a promo saying that the Nexus will soon become the most dominant force professional wrestling has ever seen. His goal is to have every championship belt on Raw inside the Nexus and because he won the Royal Rumble, the WWE Championship will be his at WrestleMania. He lets those words linger and says that of course, there is one other championship. It doesn’t mean much, but it’s a title and he wants it inside the group as well. Yup, it’s the ‘butterfly belt’ that Natalya is still wearing around her waist.
He talks about how impressive she was in beating Melina at the Rumble, and wonders out loud exactly which Diva is worthy enough to bring the championship to Nexus. In the end, Punk declares that the shameless Divas of Raw are not good enough. They’re just ‘flimsy little gold-diggers who signed their contracts simply to gain their fifteen minutes of fame’. The woman who is going to bring gold to the Nexus is someone who can not only destroy every single bleached blond (and brunette) on the roster, but she can also stand toe to toe with any man as well. Punk flashes his trademark smirk to the crowd and points at the stage where a piece of deliciously devastating music begins to play over the PA system. The lights dim and the spotlight rises, and Awesome Kong makes her way onto the stage… and she has her hand wrapped around the throat of Natalya! She drags Natalya to the ring, who is desperately trying to fight her off, and Kong tosses her inside like a rag doll. The Nexus boys scatter and Kong takes center stage. Natalya is coughing and gasping for air, but Kong just pounces on her. She beats the living daylights out of Natalya and puts her out of her misery with an Awesome Bomb. She places her foot on Natalya’s chest, takes her Nexus armband from her pocket, slips it on and raises her hand in the air like a salute. The crowd is stunned speechless. The boys salute her back. And CM Punk stands there nodding in approval. Kong reaches down and picks up the Divas Championship, which she had brought with her to the ring along with Natalya, and she places it across her shoulder. She spits down at Natalya and says one simple word; “Mine.”
After Melina defeats Natalya at the Royal Rumble and becomes Divas Champion, she plays up her heel character, becoming more cocky and arrogant. She takes her “slap happy” thing to another level, embarrassing Divas left and right by smacking them in the face backstage, after matches, etc. The slapping becomes her “thing”, and she plays on it by “warming up” her hand or wearing a glove. This goes on for a bit until, in the middle of a self-congratulating backstage interview following an easy victory, she bumps into a nameless woman. Not seeing or noticing who she bumped into, she yells at the faceless peon for making her drop her Divas Title, her back turned until she reaches the end of her tirade, turning around and coming face to face (face to chest?) with Kong. She’s intimidated, but, being cocky, she goes to slap her to ‘teach her a lesson’. Instead of blocking it, Kong takes the slap, but does not react–she doesn’t even blink. Shocked, Melina tries again, with the same result. Flabbergasted, Melina just stares at Kong, asking “Who the hell are you?” Instead of answering, Kong slaps Melina, sending her to the floor like a ton of bricks. Kong takes the belt, hoists it on her shoulder and walks off.
The ensuing weeks will deal with Melina trying to get her belt back, but being too intimidated by Kong to get close enough to take it. This could be played straight with a touch of humor. Kong becomes less of a voiceless monster as the weeks progress, playing Melina’s intimidation for laughs. Eventually, we learn who Kong is, she gets mic time, and, exasperated at her inability to possess her own title belt, Melina soon agrees to defend the championship at WrestleMania. But, in a sense, she’s battling to get her belt back–Kong’s just competing to keep it. The feud would be largely out-of-the-ring encounters with their first match (singles or otherwise) taking place at WrestleMania. The aims of the feud would be establishing Melina as a heel once again and introducing Kong as a monster in the expected way, injecting her with babyface personality as the storyline progresses.
Awesome Kong is not just a threat to the babyfaces (assuming she is a heel), but a threat to the entire Divas division. As such, much like her role in TNA, she should be played up as the monster that doesn’t give a you-know-what about anyone. It’s safe to say that with someone of the magnitude of Kong, you’d want her in your title picture as soon as possible and that is exactly what I suggest…
I’d place Kong’s debut at the Royal Rumble later this month. Sure, some would like to see her debut in the Rumble match itself but I’d much rather see her make her mark upon her debut. (There’s always next year for the Rumble!) Following a hard fought title defense against Melina at the Royal Rumble, Natalya would be celebrating in the ring — a little out of breath — when all of a sudden the lights go dark. When they turn back on, an unidentified figure (to the announcers) would appear at the top of the ramp-way.
Making a beeline for the ring (or more importantly, who’s in it), Kong walks down to the ring with authority as Natalya realises she’s coming for her and tries to put up a fight, showing the fans what a true, fighting champion she is, but Kong overpowers her. In a display of her unique presence, Kong would throw Natalya around the ring like a rag doll before hitting the exclamation point: the Implant Buster.
Making her statement on the WWE — and the Divas Champion — the fans/announcers would be left to wonder who this new mystery woman is. “Can she even be called a Diva? She’s a monster!”
The next night on Raw, the footage from the Rumble would be recapped by the announcers and it’d be announced that Natalya isn’t at the show tonight due to the harsh beating she took. Then, the lights would flicker and the Anonymous Raw GM’s laptop would buzz. The GM’s email would say that he hopes the fans like his latest signing, confirming Kong’s identity as whatever name they give her. Following this, it’d be time for our standard two minute Diva match between any combination of Divas. (Take your pick.) Halfway through the match, the lights would go down and Kong’s new music would hit. Once again she’d make her way down to the ring, and this time annihilate both of the Divas involved in the match.
Kong’s path of destruction would continue for a couple of weeks until Natalya returns to Raw and makes a gutsy challenge. Showing what a fighting champion she is, she challenges Kong to a match ‘anytime, any place, anywhere’. Of course, Kong is only too happy to accept and it’s on at Elimination Chamber in February. In a non-title match, this one is all about the fight — Natalya tries to show she’s not intimidated by Kong but is generally overpowered by the monster Diva. Natalya would try and try to fight back, not giving up but realizing the task of defeating Kong may be too much for her, her friend and fellow ‘Sister of Destruction’, Beth Phoenix would come out and throw in a white towel ending the match.
Unable to defeat Kong — but never backing down — Natalya would challenge Kong again, this time for the Divas Championship at WrestleMania. In the lead-up to the show, we’d see Kong work her way through a series of Divas — both heels and babyfaces — to the point where the entire Divas roster takes a stand against Kong on the final episode of Raw/SmackDown before WrestleMania. All of the Divas unite, come down to the ring and say they’re here to bring the fight to Kong. A huge brawl would ensue with Kong taking out Divas left and right but eventually all of the Divas would begin to wear her down and Natalya would get the upper-hand by leaving Kong laying in the ring.
However, come WrestleMania, Kong’s reign of terror would truly begin when she’d defeat Natalya for the belt and move onto her next victim… er, I mean challenger.
Which idea did you like best? Which would you most want to see? Vote below!
Remember to share your own ideas in the comments!