Impact Write-Up (December 29th, 2011): Knockouts Main Event Ends 2011 with a Bang

Greetings my loyal Larry’s Cabaret dancing floozies. I hope you’re having a good last few nights of 2011… BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS IN 2012!~ TNA certainly did their best to make sure this year went out with a bang, and boy, did they deliver! Not only did we get to see Knockouts Champion, Gail Kim, defend her title against Mickie James in the main event of the show, but we also got a hilarious segment to kick us off involving those two females, along with Sting, Madison Rayne, Tara, and Brooke Tessmacher.

In other action, ODB and Creepo Beard tried to advance in the wild card tournament, but did they get the job done? Let’s find out…

After a video package highlighting the past weeks of agony involving the beautiful, talented, sorely missed, Miss Karen, Madison Rayne and Gail Kim make their way out to the ring — Madison with a mic in hand. Once Gail’s strangely addicting theme song stops, Madison lets her plans be known to the world with four simple words:

TARA. TESSMACHER. RING. NOW.

… Okay, so she repeats “NOW” a few times, but you get the drift. The two ladies that compose TNT follow through as Madison informs them that she’s going to cut to the chase here because the longer they are out here, the longer they are susceptible to the diseases that Tara and Brooke are carrying! (Insert my first, “Oh, hell no!” of the night.) She then tells them that since they disobeyed her orders *in a screechy voice* LAST WEEK, they are now fired! TNT begin to get angry at Madison, until the maniac who fired my beloved Miss Karen, Sting, steps out to the ring.

Madison tries to persuade Sting to head to the back because she has this all under control and he’s a very busy man. Sting tells her that it’s not over until he says it’s over, and he hasn’t said anything yet. He informs Madison that Miss Karen had a legally binding contract when she was Knockouts VP that gave her the right to make decisions, but that Madison has no such thing! Madison tries to scream that Miss Karen gave it to her, but Sting claims she has no power at all. The two have a hilarious screech war back and forth that leaves me gasping for air from laughter. (And let me add, Sting is still on bad terms with me but it was brilliant.)

Sting says that he’s in charge tonight, and that means Gail is going to defend her Knockouts Title against this woman… when suddenly out chimes my Southern national anthem, HAAAARRRDCCOOORREEEE COUNNTRYYYYYY. Gail and Madison lose their marbles in the ring, as Mickie James walks out looking top notch, and I sit here jamming on about backwoods, uptown, and thrillbilly sound! With that, Sting informs Madison that he’s going to keep an eye on her tonight, and if she isn’t careful, he will scratch her eyeballs out… Oh my. I’m pretty sure that could result in a lawsuit.


Skip to 1:54

We head backstage as Mickie James warms up for her upcoming title shot against Gail Kim. The camera man asks her what she learned from the last time the two females faced off to which she replies that she has a better feel for Gail’s move set. She adds that it’s one thing to watch tapes and study, but it’s another to actually be in the ring with someone. Mickie claims that she feels confident tonight because she knows Gail is an incredible athlete, but she knows that she’s a better one! The camera guy questions if there’s a different style she has to use against the champ as opposed to the other Knockouts, but Mickie says it’s tough to say because every one of the girls wants to be champ so she gives 150% every time she goes out there no matter who she faces. Miss Hardcore Country says she wanted the title at Final Resolution and she didn’t get it, so she wants it a little more now and that she’s ready. The segment comes to a close as we head into the big fight!

We go to the ring as the Knockouts Championship logo flashes across the screen, before we get our second dose of HARRRDCOORREEEE COUNNNTRRYYYYYYY! (Backwoods or uptown, mind you.) Mickie James skips her way to the ring and poses on the turnbuckle, as the once again strangely addicting theme song of Gail Kim hits, and the lady of the night makes her way out with both titles in hand. Gail poses on the ring apron with her belts, and we get things underway with the main event style introduction of champion and challenger! The crowd heavily cheers our southern belle, as they boo the devious double champion.

The bell sounds as it looks to be Gail wanting a lock up, but Mickie quickly rolls under her with a pinfall attempt that Kim hurriedly kicks out of. Gail gets back up to two feet, as Mickie connects with a jackknife roll up for another near fall! Kim goes for a kick, but James shoves the leg away… so Gail then goes for a strike, but Mickie blocks it and starts laying in some punches to the champ. Mickie sends Gail off the ropes, but Kim fires back with a kick to the shoulder. She then charges again, but James leaps onto her with a nice Thesz Press! Gail shoves Mickie off, but James is fired up and keeps herself on the Champ.

Mickie is sent to the turnbuckle and connects with an elbow to Gail’s jaw. Gail goes for another move, but Mickie hoists her legs up and scores with the Mick-A-Rana! She follows it up with a running dropkick off the ropes that sends Gail cowering to the outside. Mickie then decides to run off the ropes and go for a baseball slide! Gail moves out of the way and goes for a strike, but Mickie catches her arm and hits a SICK arm-trap neckbreaker on the outside as we head to a commercial break. (Insert my second “Oh, hell no!” moment of the night.)

Once we return from the ad break, that I’m sure was used to pay Madison Rayne’s hefty salary, we see Gail and Mickie exchanging kicks and punches by the barricade. Mickie tosses Gail back into the ring, but Gail hits a dropkick to the knee as James tries to get back in the ring. She then proceeds to superkick Mickie outside the ring, while the referee begins his count. Mickie slowly manages to climb back inside, but Kim grabs her as she is half way there and levels her with some wicked kicks. She then proceeds to slam Mickie face first onto the canvas in a move that makes my face hurt from the sheer pain, much like the similar spot at Final Resolution.

The referee tries to back Gail up, but she remains on her opponent. Kim throws James into the corner of the ring, before following it up in the second turnbuckle. Gail taunts the heckling fans, which gives Mickie a brief moment to regain composure, although not long enough as Kim levels her with a clothesline for a two count. Both women get to two feet as the challenger tries to make a comeback behind the sound of this roaring crowd! Gail is the champion for a reason though, as she catches Mickie by the hair and drops her down before any comeback can be made.

From there, Kim goes to lock in an arm submission, but Mickie rolls through and counters with an arm drag. She can’t even get to two feet before Gail runs right into her to send her back down. Kim then taunts her with some slaps to the head, as the crowd fires Mickie up and she starts decking Gail with some punches. She goes for a bridge pin, but Gail holds onto the ropes and Mickie falls back. From there, Gail charges forward and locks in her Flying Dragon submission maneuver! James falls to one knee as she struggles to not give up.

Mickie somehow manages to flip over onto the ropes, but Gail remains on top in this match… well, until Mickie shoves her into the corner. Gail with an elbow to the jaw, as she goes back into the Flying Dragon again! Mickie tries to back Kim into the corner, but she ultimately falls again until Mickie connects with a unique cover for a two count. As she tries to regain composure, Gail drills her with a sick kick to the head. Both women get to a vertical base, as Kim sends James into the corner and connects with her elastic type move. She then climbs to the top rope and lays Mickie out with a missile dropkick for a near fall! Gail argues with the referee, as she awaits her prey to get back to two feet. Gail then goes for the Eat Defeat, but James blocks it and scores with a huge Mick Kick!

Both women remain down now as they struggle to get to two feet. Gail charges for the corner, but Mickie sidesteps her and scores with some punches. She then throws Gail into the corner and drops her with a few clotheslines! The crowd gets behind the challenger, as she drops her with a flapjack into a kip up and signals the end is near. James climbs up to the top rope, but Gail slides to the outside… therefore James changes her tune and drops Kim with a clothesline off the top rope to the floor! Following a replay, James slides Gail back into the ring just as a masked person with blue face paint slides in and drops Mickie with the Rayne Drop. She slides under the ring, as Gail slides back in and covers Mickie for the victory! As Gail exits, we see that the woman actually was Madison Rayne.

Also, check out a clip of ODB in action as she teams up with Creepo Beard to face Samoa Joe and Magnus in the second round of the TNA Tag Team Title wildcard tournament:

Thoughts: What a jam packed night! The promo at the start was hilarious, and I loved seeing Sting and Madison screech back and forth. I do wish Gail would have gotten to speak once though as I liked her the last time when she had the match with Tara. Going into the main event, TNA made it feel important with the introductions, which is a big thing for the females to get on Impact. I thought the match was excellent! It was fast paced, never slowed down, and even better than the pay per view one in my opinion. I’m guessing the ending with Madison in face paint was because Sting said he was going to be watching her closely, therefore she posed as Jeff Hardy to avoid being caught? I do wish Gail would get some clean wins because she is a veteran of the ring. I don’t think she should have to cheat to win every match. That works more when you have someone who’s not really a wrestler involved in a match, but I’m not going to let small things ruin what was a tremendous showing. This was definitely a great way to end the year, and I hope 2012 brings even more.

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