- Total Divas
Why hello, everyone, and welcome to another lovely annual Lockdown review! This year, TNA has “graced” us with two Knockouts matches (with grace in quotation marks as I have yet to see them yet so I will decide later if this is a good or bad thing). First up, Gail Kim defends her Knockouts Championship against the woman who, for some reason, lost the title in about twenty days when she first had it, Velvet Sky. Alongside that we get to see two of my favorite women in wrestling, Sarita and Rosita (or as I like to call them in a nod to Miss Karen, the Bean Burrito Sisters), as they team up to take on ODB and her husband for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles. Will we get any new champions? Let’s find out!~
Skip to 3:40
It’s time for the Knockouts Championship! After a brief tale of the tape which mentions the heinous actions regarding Velvet Sky’s controversial title run last year, out comes our challenger, who looks incredible in some new gear which even promotes her Twitter username on the sleeve. Taz once again goes into a frenzy over the lack of pigeons (and to my knowledge we didn’t even see his usual panning shot of Christy Hemme). Someone check and make sure he’s not walking out of TNA as I type. Out next comes Gail Kim with her title intact, alongside Madison Rayne who I guess she’s friends with again after Madison screamed, “We’re through” in their match last month.
Gail poses on the turnbuckle, as Velvet and Madison exchange words at the side. Kim takes the advantage from behind and kicks Velvet in the stomach. Kim goes for a suplex, but Sky reverses into a series of roll ups for only a two count. Velvet with a few punches, and then connects with a nice sunset flip for another two. Sky tries to stay on the advantage, but Gail kicks her sharply in the head and begins to dominate, including a knee to the back. Gail sends Velvet into the corner and apples a boot to the throat, before trying again only Velvet counters and begins running wild with chops and kicks.
A set of jawbreakers next, with Gail then escaping out of a bulldog attempt and drilling Velvet with a missile dropkick off the top rope. Kim with a backbreaker across the knee, before stretching her over as someone in the crowd tries to get them all behind Velvet to seemingly no avail, sadly. Gail performs her leg lock submission over the back of the head until Velvet finally fights out until she’s dropped with a big clothesline. Madison screams at Earl Hebner, as Gail applies a dragon sleeper. The crowd finally starts to get behind Velvet, which sparks Madison to scream for them all to shut up!
Sky connects with another jawbreaker, as both women seem to be in pain. Gail immediately targets the back and starts choking Sky in the corner. Kim goes for the running move in the corner, but Velvet moves and Gail lands pretty nasty. She crawls back inside as the two women trade blows until Sky takes control with a clothesline! Running back elbow and a shoulderbreaker follows up, continuing on with a headscissors takedown! Velvet snapmares her down and connects with a baseball dropkick, as she then plants the champion with a bulldog for good measure.
Sky tries to drag Gail into the center of the ring, but Kim fights off and begins to scale the cage. This sparks Velvet to follow her up and signal for a top rope In Yo Face! Gail counters out and tries to flip Velvet over, but Sky holds on and hits a huge powerbomb! Madison seems to be in shock, as Sky goes for the cover and Gail grabs onto the ropes. Suddenly, Velvet is distracted with Madison and goes for her, but catches Gail as she tries to escape. Sky with a roll up, but Gail reverses it and grabs Velvet’s skirt to retain her title. Velvet fans will have to wait another day it seems.
Skip to 11:43
Out to the ring we go as some delightful whistles and gun shots go off, which can only mean the tremendous duo that completes my life, Sarita and Rosita are out to dance their way to the squared circle. Both look absolutely phenomenal tonight as I take a moment to say how thankful I am for these two being featured (and hopefully winning). Sarita begins to show shades of busting out the soccer mom dance, but clearly she is keeping it hidden until we deserve it later on. After that, some music I’ve never heard before plays and out walk the Knockouts Tag Team Champions in what I think are hockey jerseys.
Mike Tenay proceeds to offer us a breakdown of the history behind those jerseys, as they climb into the ring after ODB makes sure her chest is in good form. Like the lady that she is, she pushes him out of the way and goes in first to destroy both members of the Bean Burrito Sisters. It looks as if she and Sarita will kick things off as ODB scores with a nice Thesz Press. Rosita suddenly hops onto her back but ODB moves out of the way and Sarita accidentally clotheslines her own cousin! ODB then takes the advantage and splashes both in the corner.
From there, she scores with a hip toss to Sarita and then focuses back on Rosita with a press slam right onto Sarita! Nice! ODB orders him back out, as Sarita and Rosita take control of this match and YES! HERE COMES THE SOCCER MOM SALSA! Tag out to Rosita as an ODB chant breaks out to no avail against our feisty latina. Some kicks to the stomach as she screams at the referee and begins to choke ODB with her boot. Rosita starts her own little soccer mom salsa, although let’s be real, it simply can not compare to the art Sarita has mastered through the years.
Back in comes Sarita with a headlock as she slams ODB into the corner and… is it my birthday? TWO SOCCER MOM SALSAS! Sarita goes for a pin but gets nowhere, as she then tags Rosita in again and the two proceed to kick ODB in the stomach. A nice splash from Rosita off the shoulders of Sarita, and after a brief distraction, ODB brings out the liquid courage and destroys both of my dancing delights. A nice spear sends Sarita to the outside, as she lifts Rosita up and hits the BAM for the win!~
Thoughts: Starting off with Gail against Velvet, I thought it was a solid match. It was mostly just one person dominating through the middle, though, so I don’t really think it will be a very memorable bout outside the nice powerbomb spot in the corner. Other than that, it felt like something you’d see on Impact, only there was a cage around the ring as well. I do like that if it had to end with Velvet losing, it was by Gail pulling the trunks because at least that sort of signals Velvet will probably continue this feud. Although in TNA, you never know what is going to happen next so for all we know, there could be a battle royal this week where a returning Moose Knuckles becomes the new Knockouts Champ.
The Tag Team Championship match had a lot of good and some bad only because I didn’t understand it. The good is that this was treated like an actual match and allowed the three females to perform the entire thing with hardly any interruption. I thought what they did was enjoyable and I even liked seeing ODB perform some new moves I’ve not seen from her before. Now the bad (although it may not be bad since I’m just confused), but does TNA still have that “no man on woman violence” act in order? I know he’s performed airplane spins on them before, but if it’s still a thing in TNA, then I don’t get why he’s a champion in the first place. I’m not sure though so I could be completely wrong, although if anyone knows please shout out in the comments below!
In case you don’t have time to watch the full matches, check out Diva Dirt TV‘s bite-size recap below: