- Total Divas
Well, it’s unfair to say that the Divas division has been rejuvenated in recent weeks because it absolutely hasn’t, but what has been rejuvenated is the character that AJ has been portraying. She’s still wrapped up in this weird love square with Daniel Bryan, Kane, and the WWE Champion, CM Punk. And when Raw kicks off it’s programming with a video package centered around AJ and her relationships with these men, you know it’s going to be a good night.
It’s not night, however. It’s the morning after, and having only seen a small part of Raw last night, I’m curious to see where it went after I tuned out. With Vickie Guerrero getting her chance to be the general manager, you know things are going to be interesting.
The WWE gets us off to a quick start, Diva-wise, as they feature AJ in an incredible video package. After that, we head backstage where AJ is having a conversation. She’s addressing all three of her guys, and has a different message for each of them. To me, it seems like she is practicing for later?
I’m right, like usual.
Hmmm, I wonder where this is going to go? The last thing I want to see is Daniel Bryan and AJ go their separate ways. Lord knows I’m #AJBryan. I even voted for them last night in the WWE Twitter poll! But I also saw an incredible suggestion on Twitter. Someone, and I believe it was Breaking Kayfabe, said that Daniel Bryan and CM Punk should just team up and form a new version of the MegaPowers. Talk about mouth-watering possibilities. People would care about tag team wrestling then and the thought of AJ as a punky misfit Miss Elizabeth?! YES, PLEASE!
If you aren’t completely sold on AJ, then I’m not entirely sure what you look for in your Divas. She’s been given so much to do in this feud, and it’s all been beautiful. I can promise you that your favorite Diva, whoever she might be, will never get this much to do on WWE television. I love it. Period.
Another Diva that I love, Vickie Guerrero, kicked off the non-backstage portion of the show, and rightfully so. She’s in the running to be the permanent GM of both Raw and SmackDown. As she starts to speak, she’s greeted with absolute massive heat and it’s glorious. I love the reactions Vickie gets from the crowds. They LOVE to hate this woman and she absolutely glows under the jeers of the crowd. It’s incredible. As Vickie’s first official act as guest GM, she announces a triple threat elimination match that is going to happen right now.
Cue Daniel Bryan’s theme!
I think we all know where this is going to go. DB is followed by Kane, and Kane is followed by CM Punk. Time for another orgasmic match between these three men. Can I just say that this is probably my favorite feud in forever?
Let’s see if AJ makes her presence felt.
Holy heck, what a match! Not that I’m surprised, but that may be my favorite from these three thus far. I wasn’t too keen on the limited amount of AJ, but it was effective. I can’t wait until it dawns on Kane that she keeps costing him matches. I think Kane needs to completely snap, and then I want to watch CM Punk come to AJ’s rescue. With Punk so distracted by keeping AJ safe from Kane, it’s going to give Daniel Bryan the perfect opportunity to take the championship from Punk. Then maybe my dream of AJ and DB revealing all of this craziness has been their own master plan cam come true. I will never stop wanting that to happen. Ever. What better way to make AJ a heel than have her screw over Punk?
After the match, we are taken backstage again, and this time we go to Queen Vickie’s office for the night.
Vickie is watching the monitor, pleased with the outcome of her triple threat elimination match, when Albie and Ricardo come into the picture. Albie is sexy and tries to sweet talk Queen Vickie, reminding her that he is the rightful number one contender to Sheamus’ World Heavyweight Championship. He has Ricardo present Vickie with a dozen red roses (assuming that someone of Albie’s wealth and stature would splurge for a dozen…) and then yells at his valet to go get a vase. Vickie is overcome, and obviously swooning over Albie, and Prince Dawlf comes up. He tells Albie that he stepped up, stole the show, and that Albie needs to take a number when it comes to who is the rightful number one contender. He turns to his Queen, who makes a fair, and unbiased decision. She puts both men against one another in a contract on a pole match for later on in the night.
Ricardo returns with the vase of flowers, and Prince Dawlf takes them. Sarcastically he asks if they’re for him, then he takes them, throws them against the wall, and storms off. Albie is irritated, and poor Ricardo, bless him, looks like he wants to cry. Vickie reassures him that they were beautiful and we fade to a promo for a returning Brodus Clay.
Oh, look! Prayers are answered! Honestly, I didn’t much care for the match. I think if Cameron and Naomi are going to continue on with Brodus, they need to help him in his matches. I get that they’re faces, but there were so many opportunities for them to try and get involved, and protect Brodus. Having the Big Show bully them would give him more heel heat as well, so it would have been beneficial to all of them. Brodus’ opponents should start looking at Naomi and Cameron as weaknesses. I think that would give the trio a little more fire because their gimmick is going to wear thin real quick. But that’s just my opinion, of course.
Continuing on with my theme of pretty much recapping the entire show… AJ is backstage again.
She’s talking again but this time, she has someone listening. The Big Red Machine is there! Kane tells AJ that he isn’t exactly expressive when it comes to revealing his feelings, and he tells AJ that it may come as a shock to her, but he isn’t exactly boyfriend material. AJ doesn’t seem to mind and says that their relationship is pretty unconventional. Kane quickly kills AJ’s smile by declaring that he doesn’t do relationships. He also adds that he’s a monster, and that he wears a mask. Then he tells our geek goddess that his only pleasure is inflicting pain on people. Kane continues on to say that in spite of all that, even he finds her a little unstable, and then tells her that it’s best that the two of them stay away from each other.
Well, damn. I may be Team DB, but I didn’t necessarily want Kane and AJ to break up. My girl emotions feel kind of bad for her right now… until she starts to laugh/cry. Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
This is lovely.
Want to know what else is lovely? Chris Jericho returning, looking like a rejected 1990’s rockstar, and Queen Vickie making her presence felt in his verbal war of words with John Cena.
I’ll be honest, I didn’t watch Cena speak, nor did I hear Jericho speak. Rafael Nadal was taking off his shirt at Center Court as this was going on. But as Queen Vickie declares that NO ONE can place themselves in either MiTB contract matches, I naturally assume that both Jericho and Cena booked themselves a spot in the match for the WWE Championship. Jericho tries to speak but Queen Vickie flips out. She tells him not to ever interrupt her because she is the general manager. You go, girl! Jericho gets cheeky as he apologizes and asks the Queen if she is going to suspend him.
Queen Vickie just gives a fake laugh and announces that the Board of Directors has already made the WWE Championship Money in the Bank ladder match. It will only be comprised of former WWE Champions, and that does include Cena and Jericho. Cena gives the Queen her props and tells her to only listen to the BoD, not to ever make her own decisions. A vengeful Queen Vickie declares that tonight’s main event is going to be John Cena versus Chris Jericho. Nice.
Queen Vickie rocks this whole GM thing, no?
Oh, dear. A Diva summer beach battle royal thing. This won’t be good, I’m sure. Can’t be any worse than the Heath Slater/Sid Vicious segment I just fast-forwarded through. What is good is how entertaining the contract on a pole match ended up being. Triple threat on SmackDown for the championship? Count me in!
Up next is the Diva battle royal but before we head to the ring, CM Punk is backstage talking on his iPhone. He concludes his call and AJ comes up behind him, covers his eyes, and tells him to guess. He wants to know if it’s King Kong Bundy. AJ smiles and apologizes to Punk for earlier since the outcome of the match probably wasn’t what he was hoping for. She tells him that she’s going to make it up to him by dedicating her match to him tonight. Punk thanks her and says that after the match they need to sit down and have a long, serious discussion about where things are going between the two of them. AJ jumps to the conclusion that Punk wants to take things to the next level and she agrees to the chat, but says that right now she just wants to concentrate on her match. She heads off, leaving Punk shaking his head.
No entrances as the Divas are already in the ring as we return from commercial break. Immediately my eyes flock to Natalya who’s wearing what I believe is a Betsey Johnson bikini. If it’s not, then it’s a more expensive version of one. Either way, I love it. The Divas involved in this match are Maxine, Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox, Kaitlyn (who looks incredible), Beth Phoenix, Divas Champion Layla, AJ, Aksana, and Tamina (who is wearing the ugliest bikini I have ever seen — sorry, Tamina!). Before the match can start, Queen Vickie comes out. She’s in a black satin robe and decides she’s going to enter herself in this match. She makes a huge spectacle of disrobing and revealing her fabulous body in a leopard print, one piece bathing suit. The other Divas aren’t so impressed.
The bell rings and of course everyone goes after Vickie. After that it’s a hot mess of a few minutes that sees Beth accidentally eliminate Nattie, while trying to eliminate Layla. Beth gets eliminated by Layla, which prompts AJ to go after the champion. Layla ends up eliminated by AJ which leaves us with Queen Vickie versus AJ. Queen Vickie attempts to get rid of AJ, then celebrates like she won the match. AJ surprises her by sneaking back in. They catfight, then our Queen decides she has had enough. She’s trying to eliminate herself, but AJ kicks her out anyway. Queen Vickie hits the ground with a thud and AJ wins the battle royal and celebrates in true Daniel Bryan style. YES! YES! YES! chants all around.
Oh my goodness… that celebration was gold. Also, does this mean AJ is next in line for a championship shot having eliminated Layla? We can only hope. Oh man, I HOPE.
That does it for Raw. There were a million and one things to like about the show. I am not a radical feminist, so I don’t care if they compete in bathing suits. Their ring gear is about as small as a bathing suit a lot of the times so it’s whatever to me. AJ winning the battle royal gives me hope that she’s granted a Divas Championship shot at Money in the Bank. Of course, in my head, I’m picturing her and Daniel Bryan as the golden couple of the WWE. I know, I’m pretty crazy.
I liked what Raw gave us tonight, I truly do. There’s a lot of questions, and not a whole lot of answers. It’s refreshing, and more than anything, it’s different. I look forward to SmackDown this week.
Until next time… Cryssi out!