- Total Divas
Good day everyone, and welcome to… well, I don’t know how to word this anymore as I can’t say “this month” with the news that Impact Wrestling is dropped seven of their pay-per-views this year. So let me just welcome you to the annual Genesis recap! Last night, we were treated to a Gauntlet match, which I feel like hasn’t happened in years but may be wrong. Anyways, it involved Brooke Tessmacher, Mickie James, Gail Kim, ODB, and Velvet Sky fighting for a future shot at Tara’s Knockouts Championship. All of these women have a beef with the champ in one way or another, but which will be able to run the gauntlet and secure an upcoming face off?
Scroll on down and find out!
Skip to 23:24
And just like any casual Thursday night, we begin the festivities with the glimpse of Christy Hemme’s boot covered feet. The camera then ascends to her thighs, up her dress, reaching her chest, and then capping it off at her head. If that in any way sounded creepy or awkward reading, then you fully understand how it comes off watching it. Nevertheless, here comes one of my prized contenders in “Theme Song of the Year” for the upcoming 2013 Bobby awards, Gail Kim! She looks ready to go, not seeming affected at all that she’s attained the first spot.
And up next pops out her competition for the award, Brooke Tessmacher! Brooke charges straight into the ring and spears Gail to the ground! She rallies the fans behind her, before scoring a jacknife cover. Gail now takes the advantage, but Tessmacher reverses an Irish Whip into a nice victory roll for a two! Brooke takes Gail into the corner and backs her booty up for the Ass-Tastic, but Gail demonstrates a new power-counter she’s mastered since their last face off… moving her entire body out of harms way! Kim with a clothesline, but my attention now turns to commentary because the mention of propane makes me reminisce about King of the Hill!
Back inside the action, Gail slams Brooke face first to the corner, before dragging her over the second rope and nailing a leaping butt bump to the back(?) Up to the top rope she goes, as Tessmacher kicks her off and lands some shots! A few clotheslines follow up, as she sends Kim into the corner. An attempt at the facebuster doesn’t pay off, but that doesn’t stop Brooke from dropkicking her back and going for it again! She hits it this time, but only can garner a two count as Gail kicks out. Tess goes for the Tess-Shocker, but Gail flips out and drills the Texas Tease with the Eat Defeat.
Brooke Tessmacher has been eliminated!
Up next comes ODB, but as she jigs her way down the ramp, Gail comes running down the ramp and ends up running right into ODB which serves no effect to the KO Tag Champ, and instead sends Gail amazingly falling backwards! ODB hides her jewels, before charging in the ring and smacking Gail on the buttox. ODB then drags Kim to a few corners of the ring, proceeding to perch her on her shoulder and then plant her midsection with a few head shots. ODB pats her chest and then charges forward with a splash, then backing it up and heading forth again, only this time for a bronco buster!
ODB screams that she’s a classy biatch, then dragging Gail away from the ropes and goes for a cover for a two count. The two now trade shots, but as Gail goes for a crossbody, ODB catches her and flips her over with a Fallaway Slam! A skip up transpires, as ODB looks to end Gail’s hopes with the BAM! Gail escapes though, and sends ODB into the corner. As ODB looks to go for the Dirty Dozen, Kim slams her off the ropes and hooks the bloomers for the victory!
ODB has been eliminated!
Haaaardcore Counntryyyy! Mickie James is out, skipping her way down the ramp and into the ring. Before she can even stand up though, Gail is quick to take her down. As soon as she is able to stand on two feet, Mickie takes Kim down with a set of kicks for a two count. She then attempts the Mickie-DT, but Gail runs her back into the corner and nails her side crossbody. Kim goes for the move I don’t know what to call again, as Mickie slides her head back inside the ring to avoid it and flips Gail over the ropes! MJ with an arm trap neckbreaker, but unfortunately she can’t immediately go for the cover due to fatigue.
Both women now get up and exchange blows, as Mickie gets the upper hand and slides under the legs. She catches Gail with a sharp enziguiri, but instead of going for the cover, she capitalizes with a flapjack into a kip up! James now looks to go up top, but Gail rolls outside the ring. This sparks Mickie to slide out as well, elbow Gail in the face, and hit a Mick-A-Rana on the outside! A “Mickie” chant erupts, as Mickie again looks to head up to the top rope, but Gail now clings to the feet of Taryn Terrell. Mickie rolls her up from behind, but Gail reverses! Mickie’s foot has clearly hit the rope, but Taryn doesn’t see (which I’m noticing is a common theme for nearly all of the matches lately), thus Gail gets the victory!
Mickie James has been eliminated!
Up last is none other than Velvet Sky, who can’t seem to find where Gail went. Out of nowhere, Kim ambushes Sky from behind and throws her into the steel steps! The crowd immediately gets behind the blonde bombshell, as Gail begins to taunt the fans and look for the countout victory. Slowly but surely, Sky manages to slide into the ring just in the nick of time, but that doesn’t stop Gail from immediately looking for cover after cover to no avail. Kim now starts to argue with Taryn, leading to Velvet scoring a small package for a two count. Gail is then sent into the corner, but as Velvet charges, she is met with a boot to the face.
Gail rolls Sky up, grabbing the ropes… and oh my God, Taryn Terrell spotted it. Someone alert the media because I didn’t think I’d ever see the day. Gail argues with Taryn a little more, but as she turns around, Velvet boots her in the abdomen and scores with the double underhook facebuster! She goes for the cover, as Gail slides her foot under the rope. Completely undermining the happiness I just experienced at Taryn catching something, she goes back to her ways and doesn’t spot this, thus awarding Velvet Sky the victory!
Gail Kim has been eliminated! Your winner and #1 Contender is Velvet Sky!
Thoughts: I actually really enjoyed the gauntlet match despite the small number of knockouts involved compared to most. Part of me thinks that might have worked in the ladies favor, as it gave each of the singles matches more time to shine as opposed to having someone get eliminated quickly in order to make room for the bouts that followed. If I had to single out one specific match up that was my favorite, I’d have to go with Gail against Brooke Tessmacher. They seemed so fast paced against each other and never showed signs of fatigue, and for that to be the opening bout and Gail taking part in each one that followed, I’d say is a huge testament to how skilled she truly is.
Many may question Velvet just running out and winning fairly quickly, but I kind of like it. We still don’t fully know if she’s a face or a heel in the long run, as she did get a little ticked when Mickie was chosen to face Tara at the last Championship Thursday event. With Gail’s foot under the bottom rope, Velvet made a face that seemed very much like she didn’t care that she got screwed in the end. Could it be revenge for Gail’s many tainted victories during her lengthy reign as Knockouts Champ? Or could Velvet just be showing a new side where she is sick of being shoved aside and will do whatever it takes to finally get the title reign she rightfully has deserved for some time now?
If it were up to me, I’d transform this into a four way feud between Gail, Velvet, Mickie, and Tara. You can easily have Gail go to Brooke Hogan and complain about her foot being under the rope, and then have Mickie pop in and turn to Gail saying that she had no problem at all cheating in the same fashion to eliminate Mickie in the match too. Not to mention, if you go the singles route with Tara over the next few months, you can have her feud with each of the three leading up to the next pay per view where all four can finally face off with the title on the line. I’m honestly not sure how they’re going to do these feuds anymore with the pay per views so spread out, but I’m definitely intrigued to see where we go after what transpired in the gauntlet.