Impact Write-Up (January 24th, 2013): Velvet Goes For Gold, but Tara Lets the Sky Fall

Salutations everyone, and welcome to this week’s recap extravaganza for Impact Wrestling. Last week was a fun experience as Brooke Hogan attempted to tie the knot, but ultimately realized that the only thing she should’ve been tying was her dress a little tighter as the Aces & Eights crashed the ceremony, essentially ruined her big day, and nearly caused her a wardrobe malfunction on live TV. Added on to the insanity, we also had Velvet Sky best Gail Kim to cement her status as the number one contender and attain a shot at Tara tonight! Yes, that’s correct. Tara will be defending her coveted championship against the underdog challenger, Velvet Sky this evening. I could speak on nonstop to hype this match up, but I feel you’d all just rather get to the video anyways and are probably not even reading this, in which case, I don’t blame you!

The Aces & Eights stand inside the ring as I sit here hoping my idea proposed of a Knockouts Tag Team Title falling from the rafters and knocking someone over the head actually happens to them for ruining my big wrestling wedding — er, I mean Brooke’s and Bully Ray’s. But suddenly, we head backstage to see Hollywood’s Greatest Couple warming up, and now Jesse is pulling out a Velvet Sky action figure which is now double outdated as she’s moved on from chaps to skirts to bodysuits. Get with the times TNA action figure makers! Tara reacts the same way as I do, and I choose to believe that like me, she knows his crazy Big Brother past and is concerned as to what he’s going to do to the figure that someone is probably searching every local Wal-Mart, Walgreens, and Target to find.

Jesse downplays the weirdness idea (for the moment), by stating this is simply to motivate our champ. He attempts to hype Tara up by calling her a Knockout Superstar, hot and a winner while referring to Velvet’s action figure as small, tiny, plastic, and infatuated with “dead pigeons or something.” (…I laughed) In between this, he also compliments himself a little, before turning it into praise for the both of them as Impact’s dominant power couple, which I think is more of a default accusation as their only competition is a ODB and Eric Young who have only been seen together about once in the past billion months. Jesse’s words of encouragement have worked! Tara is now ready to take the bodysuit clad Velvet Sky down to Chinatown (I’ll never say that again) as their match is next!

I’m going to choose to believe we got our Christy Hemme pan up shot considering this video begins in the midst of Velvet Sky’s entrance, and if not, then I’m sure it happened somewhere else in the show. Ah come on Velvet, way to completely ruin my comment earlier about the TNA action figure company being out of date by wearing chaps again. Sky poses with a fan who has a huge poster of her, before officially letting the pigeons loose! While I’m still confused with what exactly said pigeons are, I can at least believe the chaps give them room to fly away… and depending on what exactly the pigeons are, that could reeeally come off dirty so if they turn out to not be something friendly you can just pretend this last sentence was never typed.

That horrible basic titantron nameplate of Hollywood’s Greatest Couple overcomes the screen and fills my eyes with such hatred… such rage that I need a second to calm down before continuing. Once that’s out of the way, I reach a happier place as both Tara and Jesse walk out. Unfortunately, I’ve found myself liking Jesse which pains me to say as he and Natalie were the ultimate villains for me in Big Brother 11 and I never thought the day would come where I felt any differently. (Curse you backstage comedy segments) The two walk down the ramp hand in hand, as Jesse proceeds to hold the ring ropes open for her like a gentlemen. As Tara steps inside, she rubs noses with the Hollywood Megastar as Taryn Terrell stands looking unamused with this behavior.

Taz is on commentary again for some reason, which means we’ll probably get 80% talk of Aces and Eights during this match… just as a forewarning to you all. Taryn raises the title up like she’s just taken the belt hostage and won it herself, as the bell sounds and we kick things off. Tara is seen posing to Jesse, sparking Sky to attain a quick roll up for a two count. Velvet with some power up moves to try and score the early win, but it’s Tara who takes her down with a shoulder tackle. Some much needed posing occurs, as a captivating picture of my fearless leader and queen of the ring, Dixie Carter pops up onto the screen and Velvet hits a flipping armdrag.

A flying clothesline or two follows it up, and then a Russian leg sweep to boot which sends the champ flying into the arms of her loving superstar. Commentary continues to disappoint, with Velvet now flipping Tara in the ring and nailing a front dropkick. She kicks Tara back outside, which now sends her right to where she just was and we head to a commercial break. Once the show returns, Velvet is punching up Tara and now hits a kick to the head. She climbs up to the top rope and flies off with a crossbody for a near fall. The crowd chants for the challenger, with her now going to town on Tara in the corner. Velvet with a monkey flip… attempt, but Tara holds onto the ropes and sends her crashing down.

After a two count, Tara hits a nice snap suplex for a two count. The shimmy-sault connects, but the fighting challenger continues to stop the match from ending. Fans continue to get behind Velvet as Tara locks in a chokehold, but as she tries to fight out, Tara sends her back down to the ring canvas. Our prestigious champion now sets Velvet in position and heads to the top, but she takes too long and Velvet is able to slam her off! Both women struggle to get to their feet first, and it’s Velvet who blocks some shots by Tara to hit a few of her own. Sky mounts the comeback with some clotheslines and a headscissors!

Velvet hits that awesome new facebuster move, but… oh God don’t even start with me this week Taryn. Jesse hops onto the ring apron and Taryn takes her eyes off the action to miss what would be a winning pin attempt. I don’t know why she isn’t sending Jesse to the back, as for some reason I don’t feel like a petite blond woman is going to make a 200 or so pound guy back down by pointing her finger in his face and simply telling him what to do. Especially when it’s Jesse who has much more experience in confrontations than Taryn. Oh no… Taryn’s tactics have now rubbed off on Velvet who takes her own eyes off Tara and falls into the same scenario by wagging her finger in his face. This is why peer pressure is a bad thing Taryn, and you can not lead by example when it comes to these things.

Phew, Velvet has outsmarted us all! She was simply parodying Taryn long enough in order for Tara to come running up behind so she could move out of the way and send the champ colliding face first with her man. Or… maybe Velvet and Taryn were in cahoots with this the entire time and it’s all a set up in which case I would personally bow to them both. Velvet gets a roll up out of nowhere, but Tara just kicks out! She goes for a suplex, but suddenly collapses as I fear the need for Life Alert may be in order until I see that it was due to Jesse tripping her up. He holds the foot down as Taryn… misses it and counts the victory for Tara and she retains the title.

Thoughts: Kicking off with the backstage segment, I thought it was pretty darn funny. Jesse has grown on me a lot since being paired with Tara, and I’ve said it before so I won’t spend forever talking about it, but I still find myself laughing at their shenanigans together. The comments made about the Velvet figure were priceless, and I always love when we get props involved. A little bummed that there was nothing with Gail Kim considering she had such a presence last week, but I think she’s on the UK tour so hopefully we get some more from her in the upcoming weeks.

The match was solid. It kind of fell into that category for me where I didn’t dislike it or anything, but nothing really happened that made me overly love it. It was kind of what I thought a match between them would be like, especially with Jesse at ringside etc. I will add though that I love the flip over facebuster Velvet does, possibly even more than the double underhook but I’m not quite sure yet. (Of course, I’ll let you all know when I decide since I’m sure it’s burning on your minds nonstop along with how awesome Adele will be at the Oscars when she performs Skyfall.) Apologies for the thoughts portion being so short, but I’ve got to head out pretty much right this minute, so until next week… Peace!

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  • XtinaAguilera

    videos?

  • wwesvrrocks101

    I was so happy that Velvet got rid of the catsuit! OMG I love her attire now!

    • XtinaAguilera

      ikr!

  • kio3j2

    lol you made pigeons sound like farts. SHES LETTING THE PIGEONS LOOSE! *fart* lmao

  • Getdownwithachola

    So the cat suits weren’t feminine enough???

  • Looking Glass

    I have to disagree about the finisher, how awkward did it look? It looks like she wants to hit a Swinging Reverse Neckbreaker and instead just dawdled into something that got Tara down, fair enough it’s a facebuster variation but the whole point of a finishing move is it looks crisp and impressive – that did neither. No one seemed to respond to it, it was just like throwing a ball on the floor and came off really awkward.

    I don’t know if a storyline will be made of this, seems pretty awkward that Velvet’s chase is over in two-three weeks. Like I said last time, I’m glad they’re utilizing Jesse in a way that makes Tara look more of a heel than a comedy role which just undemines her as a champion. People will say “OH BUT IT MAKES HER LOOK WEAK!” but not really, playing a heel is more about psychological tactics and winning at any costs compared to playing a face where you pose to the crowd and wrestle. I’m actually enjoying this reign of Tara, her first few still felt like she got the belt due to who she was and the fact that they wanted her and Kong to be the centre points of the division, this feels more natural although she’s running out of girls to put down.

  • puppies

    I love your write-ups Bobby!
    Anyway, Jesse was honestly the only entertaining thing for me this week on Impact. The match was… meh. It wasn’t bad, just boring.

    • Bobby

      Thank you kindly! I was afraid this weeks would suffer as I kind of overslept and was trying to rush to finish it before leaving =X

  • KaitlynLover<3

    I think that this outfit is even worst than the catsuits, it looks like she picked up some random clothes and put theme together, because they really don´t fit together!

  • https://twitter.com/Qwon_23 3xplicit

    Awful & boring match to be honest.

  • k2evecrew

    Ugh poor velvet she’s not the worst wrestler but her & Tara are both veterans they should be putting on better matches than this. I wish they would’ve kept Mickie vs Tara with velvet on the side , they could’ve made this into a triple threat match & I would’ve probably been a little more entertaining

  • http://twitter.com/RyanRoman0 Ryan

    Damn!! Tara’s big hot ass!!! The ass shaking was glorious man!! :D
    And Velvet looks hot in the bodysuit but she looks even hotter in the chaps! Beautiful women’s and yeh not their best matches and shitty ending but overal TNA was fun as a whole

    Smart Note: Velvet should incorporate into a more aggressive more fight style type of wrestling. Because Brooke Tess Mickie Gail Kim ODB all get down and dirty in the ring. Velvet gotta step up but it’s cool she isn’t a bad wrestler and always a pleasure to watch her wrestle
    Always a pleasure seeing Tara…….’s big hot ass too ;)

  • Nostalgia

    This is why I don’t like Velvet. She’s been wrestling since 2003 and sucks ass

    • kio3j2

      Damn she been wrestling for 10 yrs? Hun maybe its time to fill out job applications in other places cause wrestling obviously isn’t your thing.

      • Nostalgia

        Yea, she was Indy back then

    • Getdownwithachola

      The type of indies she wrestled for where mostly disgrace promotions like WEW which is more about sex appeal than wrestling. If she was smart enough she could’ve took her ass to ROH training academy.

      #Blonde

  • Slapavel

    lets be honesy, the match wasnt good at all

  • xBananaPancake

    Did they just mention WWE?

  • http://myspace.com/bigdogpimp20 Kantrell

    “Former 2x WWE women’s champion” like wwe is better than tna… Lol

    • Looking Glass

      It’s not about content, WWE is the longest standing wrestling company, you only have to look into how far they’ve evolved to appreciate what a success they are. Sure, their storylines are questionable but as a company, between the two there’s no comparison.

    • puppies

      They are.

    • Getdownwithachola

      TNA actually loves the WWE so much other wise the roster wouldn’t be full of WWE leftovers.

  • NT86

    Surprised they mentioned her WWE history.

    Anyway, Velvet needs to go back to that golden outfit she wore in 2011 when she won the KO Title.

  • fahkyooh

    Another terrible match, all thanks to Velvet.

    *Turns on Tara VS Gail and Tara VS Mickie for what could have been*

  • GailKim95

    Ever since Velvet came back she just seems a bit off. She just does not seem like the same wrestler as she was like a year ago. Also i don’t like Velvet’s finisher. It looks weak and sloppy. I would prefer her to use her “Beauty Mark” (Backstabber) that she used only once i think on Taylor Wilde. Now that would be a finisher!

    • http://twitter.com/RyanRoman0 Ryan

      Kim I agree Velvet seems out of it.. Maybe even burnt out. I remember how aggressive she was last year and even put in some great matches with Brooke Tessmacher. But now she’s just idk..

      If I’m not mistaken she must feel like crap.. I’m sure she realizes that her matches (other than her return math with Madi) have been pretty crappy lately. And I’m Velvet Sky’s fan no matter what.
      When u don’t do ur best and u know u sucked u can feel pretty bad about urself for a day :(

  • melina prez

    Just a plain match nothing special…they really should have dont some big or exciting moves because its for the championship but whatever. And with the WWE mention- i was not expecting that.

  • Monkey Tennis

    Dudes in women’s matches.

    As welcome as a fart in a telephone box.

  • redsandman99

    Really didn’t care for the match. Velvet’s strength is NOT wrestling and hasn’t ever been quite frankly.

    • redsandman99

      Though the backstage segment was at least amusing.

  • divaindemise

    It’s a sad day when Jesse Godderz is the most appealing thing about the Knockouts division right now.

    • Nostalgia

      Yikes, but I agree. We’ve been watching Tara/Victoria since 2002? We know what she’s capable of. And they have her looking weak against all her opponents

      • kio3j2

        Sadly Tara/Victoria might always be cursed with putting other people over

  • Superstar77

    Well you people should be happy Velvet didn’t win the title.

    There was nothing wrong with Velvet’s performance in this match. The only thing wrong was that she lost. I’m tired of her being built up and getting title matches just to lose. It’s annoying! I really haven’t liked how TNA has handled Velvet’s return at all.

  • 09DHK

    Unlike some people, I actually liked Velvet’s first bodysuit she debuted minus the obnoxious skull logo on the abdominal region; it made her look more credible as a wrestler. Velvet’s finisher looked kinda awkward. I really REALLY want to like Velvet, but her ring work is just not where it should be for someone who’s been wrestling for 10 years; I mean Tessmacher wrestles better in 2 years than Velvet has in a decade. She’s not Rosa Mendes bad, but she is kinda the worst of the best in terms of the talent pool of the Knockouts.

    • fahkyooh

      Oh come on now. She’s not just bad for a Knockout, she’s bad for a female wrestler, period. Layla, Kaitlyn, Alicia Fox, even these past women with way less experience are way better and x10 more athletic than her. Velvet can’t even throw a right hand, sell a move or even execute her own finishing move right. She is a disgrace in the ring, and I’m sorry but this is the harsh, cold reality of the situation.

  • TorrieStacyCandice

    The TNA Knockouts Division & WWE Divas Division are at the exact same level at this point IMO

    • puppies

      The Divas might be higher at this point, they have actually storylines. Of course now the men are taking up all the time with RR on its way, though.

  • Getdownwithachola

    Velvet’s ring skills fits her perfectly in the mid-card level period.