Impact Write-Up (January 31st, 2013): When in Doubt, Mixed Tag it Out

Bonjour all, and welcome to this week’s fun-filled extravaganza of Knockout action that we call an Impact Write-Up. Last week was Velvet Sky‘s big opportunity against reigning and defending champ, Tara, to take the prized title and plaster it around her pigeon filled waist. Unfortunately for her, the constant interference of Jesse proved to be too much, as it was Tara who walked out still champion. This week though, it’s Open Fight Night. And while I always get this confused with Championship Thursday, I’ve researched to discover that this is the event where anyone gets to call out someone else and make their voices heard with a straight up fight. This, in turn, leaves us with many questions that I want answered:

Could Velvet Sky be on the hunt for revenge and call out Tara?

Will Brooke Hogan challenge one of the Aces & Eights to a Bra & Panties match due to their history?

How about having Gail Kim state my — I mean her — problems with the officiating of Taryn Terrell?

Or… something I’ve allegedly been told that Taz himself has pitched to the TNA writers: Christy Hemme challenges all the Knockouts to a slow-mo camera pan-up competition where the camera slides up each Knockout slowly and the winner is crowned by audience applause, or Taz himself. From what I’ve (allegedly) heard, they would even put the title on the line and it will end with Lacey Von Erich returning to strip down and dance for us. (Does anyone have the sudden urge to watch the Lockbox Showdown again?)

Of course, after tonight, all of these questions will likely find answers. But let’s just hope it’s the answers we all want. And on that note, we shall delve right into the action because the more I stall, the more I am tempted to start discussing my love of the gone but never forgotten Claire Lynch, and I know that none of you want that to happen.

We open the scene with Velvet Sky making her grand entrance for us all. Continuing to switch it up, she’s now got big furry boots on which I like because they add extra damage to her kicks in that the fur could end up choking her opponent out via smothering like a pillow. Velvet has the microphone and wants to get something off her chest. Since I still don’t grasp what exactly the pigeons are, I’m guessing they have something to do with it… but alas, I am wrong. She wants to call out the two gals that are responsible for her being title-less at the moment, Tara and Jesse. Impact clearly loves me tonight because we get no shots at all of the horrible, basic font on their titantron, and instead it’s all focused on Hollywood’s Greatest Couple.

HGC step inside the ring ready to compete, looking to start a 2-on-1 handicap match, unless all three of them have plans to face Taryn Terrell in a 3-on-1 to punish the bad officiating right out of her! (Side note: Please know that my problems with Taryn’s officiating are just that, and I mean no harm with my comments as I’m a fan of her in general.) Velvet reveals that she’s got a little surprise for them, in that of a tag team partner. Suddenly, James Storm’s theme (which just received a nomination for greatest male theme song in the first annual Bobby awards) hits, and out he comes to stand by Velvet. Taryn signals for the bell, and the males start things out.

I feel like I know more about something called Bellator fighting than I do the entire Knockouts Division since it’s all I ever pick up from the commentary table during their matches, but besides that we have Jesse backing Storm into the corner. James fights back and scores with a shoulder tackle, following it up with a hip toss. Jesse kind of leaps up and lands on James’ shoulder, then getting taken out with a fist to the face. Tara tries to trip James up, which allows Jesse to get the upper hand with some kicks. An arm lock sends James Storm into the corner, as Jesse hits a snapmare and a legdrop for a set of near falls. Storm hits a huge backstabber, as both men make the tag out!

Sky runs in with a clothesline or two, then nailing a nice spinning headscissors. Velvet hits a russian leg sweep for a near fall, as Tara now gets in control and tries to drag Sky into her corner. Velvet ends up shoving Tara forward and delivering a roll up, but Tara manages to kick out. This doesn’t stop the plucky underdog, who drills our champ with a facebuster. Suddenly, Jesse runs in to go after Velvet, but James “master of the double knee moves” Storm takes him out with a codebreaker. Tara now starts screaming at Storm, which distracts her long enough for Velvet to hit the double underhook facebuster for the one… two… three! The team with last names pertaining to weather is victorious, as Hollywood’s Greatest Couple must prep for tomorrow.

Thoughts: Tonight, kind of like last week, were basically what I expected to happen in the matches. Tonight’s wasn’t really anyones fault though because 95% of mixed tag matches kind of resemble the same thing. One gender works majority of the middle, and then the other gets the hot tag. A fight ensues between the non-legal gender, leading towards the legal one to get the pin. It works though, so I’m not saying that’s a problem. I love that Velvet got mic time before the match to vent her frustrations because it shows us that she’s not just going to take what happened last week lying down. Overall, it wasn’t anything mind-blowing, but what we got made sense and was enjoyable. And I’d rather take that opposed to something that might look good on paper, but transition badly on TV.

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  • http://www.youtube.com/jillfan1 Jillfan1

    I am just happy they are on the road now yay =)
    ok match not omg the best storyline wise in general this episode delivered

  • puppies

    I’m just happy that they’re not staying in Orlando anymore.

  • Connor

    TNA should have this size of audience on a weekly basis, and charge money for the seats aswell. Instead of letting 5/600 people in the iMPACT Zone for free they could make a killing with live audiences this big and could compete even more with WWE ratings and audience wise

    • Wolverine

      Are you really sure they could compete with Raw in the ratings? Really?

      • Connor

        not at this point in time, no. With the correct management, booking and overall direction of the company, maybe

  • http://twitter.com/RyanRoman0 Ryan

    Ok match but wanted Cowboy to kick Jesses ass haha
    And love the reference to Stacey Keibler :)

    Best moments were Magnus, Chris Daniels, and Franceois Kazarian lololol.. Austin Auries and Roode, and btw Aries said he IS GOING after the Knockouts Championship
    … Hope not but if it’s the case, the ladies should be honored that The greatest Man alive will be Knockouts champion, emphasis on Man, unlike that tranny Santina and Hervina. Or even King of the knockouts Cody Deaner aka Joe Dirt lol

    • Connor

      How good would TNA be if any wrestler, male or female, could go after any championship? Like on OFN or something? Would love to see Tara give a Widows Peak to AA?!

      • http://twitter.com/RyanRoman0 Ryan

        Well I’m still for Women go for Women’s championships.. And Men go for Mens championships. Jackie made an excellent Cruiserweight Champ for the short time but come on, I am all for equal rights but sport or not, a Man always is going to be above women specially in wrestling. If a man starts selling a chicks moves and the chick remains untouched it starts looking bland.. Lita Trish Ivory Jackie Jazz Gail Kim and many others never lost that male female balance. Which made it great pitting size and strength differences.
        I however did see Lita beating up Austin Aries back in 2006 he was much smaller though.. But he is as tall as Tara, a Widows Peak WOULD be awesome, just not to A-Double right now ;)
        She isn’t the sexy muscled freak she was in 2003-2003, and he’s too much man for her to handle nowadays lol
        If u remember Tara beating the hell out of Bully Ray back in WWE in 2002 to the point where she busted his nose, he didn’t take it easy on her at all lol but the beating she was giving him was scary!

        What Aries and Roode are trying to do is complete dominance and control, taking over TNA by controlling the championships, something Aces and 8ths should do instead!!

        Even now he said he has targeted the Knockouts championship, if he does go after the ladies, I can see ALL the knockouts uprising and fighting back!!! Which would be epic!!! Even with Roode backing him, you can’t underestimate the fury of the knockouts specially Gail Kim Tara Brooke Mickie or ODB!! :D
        And if push come to shove, Aries is the fucking man! But I stand behind the Knockouts

        • puppies

          ” a Man always is going to be above women specially in wrestling”

          Dumbest comment you’ve made, coming from a man. And you’ve made a lot of dumb comments, but congrats, you have officially topped them all.

        • Getdownwithachola

          I agree with puppies. I’m a man myself yet I don’t think men will always be above women in wrestling that is just like saying Cody Rhodes and Ziggler are more talented than some lady like Lufisto.

        • Raekon

          It always depend on the man or the woman Ryan and how good they are.

          Strengthwise the average man is stronger than the average woman but in sports it depends on their skill ,talent and training.

          So you can’t put all into the same basket saying its all the same.

    • TheGamergirl22

      They should go for the KO Tag Team titles LOL

      So Chavo and Hernandez are easier than ODB and Eric Young

      • http://twitter.com/RyanRoman0 Ryan

        Na, I stick to what I said.
        Like if a man were to wrestle a woman… What do u expect him to take her head off like hitting a man and to be cool with it?
        Shots kind of disturbing

        I’m not questioning ring skill here
        Taylor Wilde is the best wrestler I’ve seen in a long time sais Gail Kim..awesome Kong got involved hitting guys she’s a beast. But then AJ styles crushed her
        Women should really stick to their division

  • GailKim95

    I loved the Baltimore reference!!!!! GO RAVENS!!! But i thought the match was pretty solid and this was the first match since Velvet’s return where I didn’t cringe at any point during the match. Maybe it was because she only wrestled like half but any way she is slowly getting back to where she was before she left

  • notorious

    Way i see it it should be this: *Possible Spoiler Alert*

    Since Velvet wins the title have her defend it with gail kim, mickie, the blossoms, taeler, and tessmacher. Turn tessmacher heel. Release odb shes been irrelevant for months, deactivate the tag titles, and it pretty much seems Madison is gone. Put a tara and taryn in a feud where she finds out Jesse is having an affair with Taryn. It will transition taryn into a wrestler and give her some experience with a veteran like Tara. I love tara and everything but she pretty much accomplished everything in in her career. I think she needs to be released. She said she wanted to be a mother. I feel like thats what she should do now.

    • puppies

      Taryn’s transition to wrestling seems more likely to happen with Gail. Especially since she helps Velvet in beating Gail for the title in one of the upcoming episodes.

      • VarsityBaseDude

        They are the new beautiful people

        • Zachary

          I could actually see Velvet teaming up with Taryn actually.
          Still not the same, as the original TBP. But it’s better than nothing at all. :p

  • VarsityBaseDude

    For me I don’t agree with Velvet being in the title picture. They should make a “Intercontinental” title for the KO, then yes, she can have that one, but KO KO champ, nah….

  • Zachary

    Hmm, Velvet seemed to improve a bit in this match.
    I’m not for sure if it’s where she returned to her normal signature Velvet Sky attires.
    Or she is just more comfortable working with Tara.
    Which Tara is amazing as it is. It’s a shame her title reign was surrounded by ” Jessie. ” :(. Sure it’s a tad different and new.. but I’d rather her be able to assert her dominance as the champion.

  • Raekon

    Nice match.

  • https://twitter.com/Oliver_James611 OJ Von Erich

    “Christy Hemme challenges all the Knockouts to a slow-mo camera pan-up competition where the camera slides up each Knockout slowly and the winner is crowned by audience applause, they would even put the title on the line and it will end with Lacey Von Erich returning to strip down and dance for us.”

    This NEEDS to happen!!! :O

  • jazmine gordon

    Great Match! well put together