- Total Divas
What’s up Knockout fans and welcome to another Xplosion Write-Up here at Diva Dirt! Jack is indeed back and this week’s Knockouts action features a Knockout who is indeed back for her second Xplosion in-ring appearance this month: it’s Tara! Last time Tara was on TNA’s international show, she lost to the up-and-comer making major waves, Taryn Terrell. This week she has a formidable opponent and former major rival, ODB. ODB has been refereeing the Knockouts action as of late, so has she got some ring rust? Can Tara bounce back from her loss to Taryn? Let’s take a peak, shall we?!
The video starts with ODB standing backstage doing what I assume all grown women do, talking to her boobs. You mean women don’t do that?
From my naive awkwardness to annoying awkwardness now and Jesse Godderz and Robbie E, a.k.a, Bro Manz, make their way onto the scene. The two skidmarks of Impact Wrestling tell ODB that tonight, Tara is going to wear her out. ODB retaliates with the original comeback of she is going to wear Tara out (who wrote this excellent script? Has Claire Lynch taken up a new role within the entertainment industry?) and then once she’s done with Tara, she’ll wear Jesse and Robbie out too. BAAAMMM!
We then cut to another backstage segment (which looks like the camera man just turned his tripod around 180 degrees from the previous one) with Bro Manz chatting to ODB’s opponent tonight, their girl, Tara. They ask Tara if she is ready and she said she’s going to beat up ODB but they should stay here. I have no clue why at least Jesse wouldn’t come to ringside like normal, but I’m glad as I have seen more than enough of that cockroach for one year, nevermind just a write-up!
We now are inside the arena in Las Vegas and out first, it’s the vicious vixen, Tara. Tara is looking steely and cold in her jet-black attire and she means business. Can she curb her losing streak tonight? Out next is one half of the last ever Knockouts Tag Team Champions, it’s ODB! ODB has her trusty flask in-hand which makes me question: what role will it play tonight?
The bell sounds and we learn that Tara’s parents are in attendance tonight. I wonder if they prefer her pizzas or her wrestling? Tara gets in ODB’s face and prods her on the chest and ODB uses the aforementioned breasticles as battering rams, sending Tara to the mat. ODB spanks herself like only she can before hitting Tara with a drop toe hold. ODB lets her WWE Diva out and begins to spank Tara yet the five-time Knockouts Champion makes it to the ropes and saves her backside from anymore soreness. Ignore any innuendo that could possibly be in that sentence – minds out of the gutter people!
Outside the ring, Tara adjusts those dip-dyed locks of hers before getting into the ring with her back facing ODB. Erm, Tara, you’re going to have to sort your hair out again now! Tara is obviously annoyed that her weave has been yanked by ODB’s alcohol-infested being so she delivers a hard slap. She then goes for her vintage over-the-rope flip leg drop yet she misses wildly, allowing ODB to follow-up with a scoop slam. Tara makes her way to the outside once moreto channel her inner Kelly Clarkson and catch her breath (#AwfulPun) yet once again, she seems more concerned with the audience than her opponent and ODB yanks her hair first into the ring. ODB delivers a clothesline and follows it up with an irish whip before looking to hit her Bronco Buster. Unfortunately for ODB, Tara avoids the contact and ODB is left splitting the difference as we go to a commercial break.
Knowing Challenge TV, we’re back from online bingo and loan advertisements and Tara is still on the offensive although ODB is trying to make a comeback. That comeback doesn’t seem to be coming anytime soon as Tara levels ODB with a clothesline. Tara then applies a straight-jacket style submission on ODB, leaving the dirty one in a sticky situation. ODB tries to get out of the hold, yet Tara keeps her in harms way with a lovely backstabber. ODB looks like she is either in serious pain, has just released a whole lotta wind, or perhaps both. Tara only manages a two count and she is beside herself. Not letting her anger get the best of her, Tara continues to abuse ODB, this time by choking her against the second rope. She then clubs ODB before hitting a snap suplex for two. After a scoop slam, Tara looks to set-up ODB for the end with her shimmy standing moonsault, yet ODB escapes harm.
ODB then looks to grab her flask and she finally does after a few attempts from Tara to stop her. ODB is downing that whiskey like there’s no tomorrow and in turn, it’s helping her hulk up! ODB is nowhere near phased by any of Tara’s punches and the trailer living lass is about to go wild! ODB rocks Tara with a series of punches before taking her down with a shoulder tackle. Tara then gets a taste of the aptly named Bronco Muncher and ODB declares something we all know fine well – she is one classy BIATCH! Tara then continues to get familiar with the deep south as she tries ODB’s Dirty Dozen! Despite all of that horror for Tara, ODB is unable to get the win. If I was Tara, I’d be running right out there and heading straight for some mouthwash!
Tara kicks ODB and goes for the Widow’s Peak in a last attempt to get the win yet the longing for mouthwash, mints, chewing gum and toothpaste must be all too much as after a few shoulder rams and stiff slap to the chest, Tara gets hit with the BAM and ODB gets the win! Backstage after her victory, ODB declares that no matter who her victim is, once she’s got her whiskey, it’s game over. BAAAAAAAAMMMM! It feels quite good to type that!
Thoughts: This was a pretty average match from both girls yet in saying that, I did enjoy it. ODB and Tara’s boyfriends/husbands/creeps were not present at ringside, making for a much more direct contest with less possible distractions, and I was thankful for that. I also loved Tara’s backstabber that she did to ODB. It was a new move within Tara’s arsenal and much more effective way for her to ground ODB instead of just grabbing her by the hair.
Being nitpicky, I didn’t enjoy some of Tara and ODB’s in-ring placement. Relating to Tara’s top-rope flop leg drop and her standing moonsault, when she landed, she would have missed regardless of whether ODB had moved or not. I know I’m being pedantic, yet it totally takes away from the match for me, and makes everything seem more choreographed. Other than that though, and Tara’s two random breathers outside the ring, this match was competent and entertaining. ODB belongs in the ring as opposed to being a referee, and as long as Eric Young is well away, I want some more of ODB inside the squared circle. And with that, stay tuned, Jack will be back!