Impact Write-Up (August 15th, 2013): ODB Demonstrates BRA-vado at Hardcore Justice

What’s up Knockouts fans and welcome to this week’s Impact Write-Up: Hardcore Justice special. Although it was announced that Knockouts Champion Mickie James would team with Gail Kim to face ODB and Velvet Sky this week, that wasn’t the case. Velvet didn’t show up and TNA didn’t acknowledge it. It was left to former Knockout Angelina Love to let fans know that Velvet was ok on Twitter. In a similar display of not turning up, Eleri decided to no show this week’s Impact Write-Up tapings over at Diva Dirt HQ. Just kidding, she was just really busy and I decided to cover. Unlike TNA, we’ll keep you in the loop with no shows! *wink*

Instead of the advertised match, we got Gail Kim vs Mickie James vs ODB in a Triple Threat Hardcore Match. Perhaps even better than the originally scheduled match? I actually think so. We won’t know for certain though until we watch it, so… to the video!

Immediately following the return from commercials, we see that the Knockout Messiah, Gail Kim is already in the ring, as is Knockouts Champion Mickie James, who is just completing her entrance. She raises her gold into Gail’s face as ODB’s music plays through the arena, which just so happens to be in Virginia. Mickie will definitely have the home state advantage! ODB makes her entrance, well, she tries to, as Mickie James comes charging at her. ODB swats her like a fly as before clobbering Gail with a few punches and a clothesline. ODB then makes perfect use of her bazonkas and rams into Gail and Mickie in their respective corners. ODB is on fire and I want whatever is in that flask of hers today!

ODB begins to hit Mickie with her Dirty Dozen yet Gail distracts her, allowing Mickie to trip ODB from the top rope. Gail mounts ODB as Mickie makes her way to the outside to grab a chair. Hardcore Country is wielding the chair and I’m not sure who she is looking to hit, yet in the end, she hits no-one as Gail starts a tug of war over it! Gail ends up with the chair yet I bet she wish she hadn’t as ODB kicks it right into her stomach. I’ve heard that’s a similar pain to pregnancy. Ok, I’m telling a white lie. It’s probably about 1/116th of pregnancy. What do I know? I’m just a male who makes lame jokes!

Mickie, who is looking bloody beautiful, hits ODB with a neckbreaker and then smiles to her home state crowd. She wedges the steel chair in the corner and then beckons Gail to her her send ODB into the steel. The plan works and ODB crashes back first into the chair. Both girls pin ODB, yet they only get two. Speaking of getting, Gail and Mickie get in each other’s faces as their short term partnership is ended by a shove fest. Gail tries to grab ODB, yet Mickie sneakily rolls Gail up for a two count. Gail fights back with a forearm, with Mickie giving her one right back. They continue to trade blows until Mickie dumps Gail to the outside like a piece of trash.

ODB returns to the action, yet gets tripped up by Gail, who then proceeds to throw her face first onto the arena floor. That had to hurt! Gail puts ODB’s lifeless carcass back into the ring before looking under the ring for a weapon of choice. The True Canadian Ninja is then rammed into the ringpost by Mickie. The current and three-time Knockouts Champion then gets back in the ring and picks up a kendo stick that seems to have appeared out of nowhere. Mickie picks up the magic stick and clobbers ODB with it on the back. Mickie then perches on the top rope and chokes ODB with the weapon. Mickie tries it again yet ODB hits her off and uses the cane to flip Mickie over her head.

Taz makes a lame joke about a toothpick as ODB gains momentum and hits everything that’s moving. Then, ODB does the unthinkable. She takes off her bra in a stunt that even Houdini couldn’t master and then choke tosses Mickie it. Gail also ends up on the receiving end of the underwear weapon (yeah, I just wrote that) as ODB hangs her with it! Mickie stops Gail Kim from succumbing to the worst gallows ever and kicks ODB in the back of the head. Mickie then dedicates her next move to Mike Tenay as Gail applies the ringpost figure four leg lock on ODB. Mickie then has obviously changed her mind of getting a weapon from under the ring as she decides to stick her feet into ODB’s shoulders and try and yank them from their sockets. Sick spot!

Gail breaks her half of the submission and hits Mickie and they both go face-to-face in the middle of the ring. Look out though ladies, ODB has her flask in hand! ODB guzzles her liquid courage and spits it in Mickie’s face before clotheslining Gail. She then kicks Mickie and goes for the BAM! Gail had already left the ring at this point and then quickly came back in to stop the action and it appears that something has seemingly gone wrong. Mickie was only kicke din the gut yet she ends up lifeless in the corner, watching as ODB hits the BAM on Gail onto the steel chair. ODB pins Gail for the win and Mickie throws a tantrum like the spoiled brat that she is!

Thoughts: Say what you will about the lack of Knockouts TNA has right now, but they did amazing things with the girls they have last night. This match was great. Not one part of the match left me bored or wishing for it step up a gear; it was fast paces, innovative and exciting. The ending seemed a little off as clearly, Mickie could and should have broken up the pin, but other than that, I loved it. The dual-submission move around the ring post was genius, as was ODB using one of her many bras as a weapon. Whoever thought of that, well bloody done! This match was fresh and interesting, as are next week’s spoilers. That’s all I’m going to say. Seems like Eleri will have a great show to recap on her return next week. And with that, stay tuned, Jack will be back!

Profile photo of Jack
Raw & Lucha Underground Reviewer - Read Profile