Friday, March 29, 2024

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Raw Redux (May 26th, 2014): The Fox Says it’s Wedgie Time

Good day everyone and welcome to this weeks edition of the Raw Divafied Redux!~ First off, apologies for the lateness this week. There are no excuses but I overslept this morning and unfortunately wasn’t able to get it done until I was finished with work but never fear for I am here and ready to get down to business. We might get a little shortened version of the redux this week as well because I don’t want to keep it delayed any longer than possible, but as always I would never skip over a match!

WWE has been finding a pattern as of late between both NXT and Raw that we can have two Divas matches per show… and I absolutely love it. Tonight is no exception for we’ve got Summer Rae taking on Eva Marie as well as Alicia Fox doing battle with Emma. Capping that off with appearances by Divas Champion, Paige, Nikki Bella, Layla, Lana, Stephanie McMahon, Brie Bella (in spirit and titantron flashbacks), plus the Rosebuds led by fearless leader, Becky Lynch… and we’ve got quite a lot to get through so like any Bella Twin on a WrestleMania 30 stage, let’s suicide dive right in.

Call to Me, Call to Meeeeee

We head to the ring as Eva Marie and Nikki Bella stand, both in gear, thus making me think this is a tag team match and we’re actually getting singles entrances!~ Out first is Summer Rae sporting her finest banana yellow, and then the bell sounds as I suddenly realize this is a singles match and Nikki is in ring gear because why not?

Red and Gold look to collide asap, but Eva starts things off with a smack right to the face! Summer now goes to retaliate, however, Eva instructs her to wait while she ties her shoe. Psyche! She clocks Summer right in the face and nails a few kicks to the abdomen before blowing feaux kisses to the crowd and asking how they like that. Eva gets tossed into the corner and taken over by kicks, as Summer throws her across the ring with a hairmare and she flies like superwoman! Both Nikki Bella and I cover our mouths in disbelief, as Summer gets just a one count and starts slamming Eva’s head into the canvas until…

Da da – da da da da da!~

Here comes Fandango & Layla dancing onto the stage and making out like their names are Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele. This distracts Summer long enough for Eva to nail a pretty sweet roll up that actually looks like Summer has no way of escaping. Go Eva Go! Now I’m reminded how amazing Eva Marie’s theme is when heard in minimal amounts. Sigh, if only the iTunes version wasn’t just the same five lines on loop for four minutes.

It’s P-P-P-Partay time again, and out comes the Fox swinging her fancy hoodie as she readies for singles competition. Spread your arms and stomp your feet, her opponent is someone besides Paige! Wait, Charlotte is getting a promotional graphic for NXT Takeover… ON RAW… and my life has found new meaning. Out dances Emma (with no Santino!!) and Justin Roberts does his finest Australian accent when announcing her town just how I like it. Emma baaaarely makes it into the ring, but she’s here and she’s ready to fight the semi-unstable Alicia.

They lock up and trade the advantage until Fox shoves her back and yells at her to get out. She goes for a kick, but Emma holds onto her boot and spins it around before decking her with a clothesline! Alicia now gets into the corner and Emma locks in the DilEMMA, then rolling into the Emmamite Sandwich, which you’d think our wonderful NXT GM, JBL, would know by now but this is what happens when you only show up for work once every four months. Fox kicks Emma off and tries to hightail it out, but Emma chases her and meets a SICK boot to the face on the outside as we catch Paige looking on from backstage. Fox now scares with a nice scissors kick over the ring apron but only gets a two count. She tries to toy with Emma now, going for a boot in the corner that Emma ducks. Roll up of doom!~ 1…2…3!

Emma wins! But perhaps more importantly, ALICIA IS PISSED!

She swings Emma by the hair and throws her face first into the barricade. Death, she just slapped a fan on the hand and now tosses Emma back in. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, followed up with her amazing sidewalk slam through the ropes and this isn’t looking like our finest Foxy meltdown just yet. But oh wait, she’s not finished yet and the crowd is reacting for the first time in their life. Hide your hats, hide your scripts… Alicia is heading to the commentary table and she’s pounding on it! Now she’s mushing the staff’s faces at ringside and slapping them around. Fox has a ringbell!

I’d like to believe Alicia is serving up justice for all of the horrible things that have fled out from the commentary teams mouths over the years by drowning them out with her constant dinging of the ring bell, as she now screams “I am not a loser!” and the crowd responds accordingly. Alicia now walks up to a crouched employee, bends down and screams “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN’ AT SON?”

I cannot.

Alicia Fox just bopped a fan on the nose. And the fan bopped hers right back. What is the world I’m living in?! She shoves a security guard off the barricade and then drags him right back over before giving him a WEDGIE for embarrassing her. Tears are streaming down my face and Alicia wants the camera out of hers. She is now heading under the ring looking for soda cans and she’s about to burst! She opens them right in a staff members face, screams at a heckling crowd member that he needs to shut up because he already bought his ticket and paid her salary! I LOVE THIS. Alicia screams that she is not a loser, but instead very thirsty… and pours the sodas all over herself before tossing the cans at both Emma and the wedgie’d security guard. This is so incredible and I never want it to end.

And because I want to get this up as soon as I can, we’re just going to take brief looks into the rest. First up – Stephanie McMahon and Triple H get The Demon Kane to destroy Brad Maddox and then ultimately fire him:

Then, we’ve got Stephanie back for round two as she gives Daniel Bryan an ultimatum heading into Payback that he must surrender the WWE World Heavyweight Title this Sunday or she will fire Brie Bella for putting her hands on the boss two weeks ago outside Daniel’s ambulance:

And as always, we’ve got our dose of the Ravishing Russian as Lana makes her presence felt for (The Artist Formerly Known as Alexander) Rusev as he takes on Zack Ryder:

Finally, it’s time to take a look at this weeks rosebuds which include the return of Goddess Becky Lynch as they manage Adam Rose in his main roster ring debut opposite Damien Sandow:

And as always, joining Blue Beauty, Shanna, Goddess Becky Lynch, Silver Coat Girl, Chasity Taylor and Selfie Taking Hippie in our Semi-Finals of America’s Next Top Rosebud will be the woman known from here on out as Scream Queen:


 

The GREAT:

Alicia Fox’s Meltdown – Yes, it’s getting its own one time category because I cannot get enough… seriously. The matches she’s in on Raw for the past week or two haven’t been my personal Foxy favorites, but they haven’t been bad either and these meltdowns make up for any imperfections every single time. What I most appreciate is that she not only adds a new element every week, but she capitalizes on what worked from the previous ones so well and improves on it. First it was JBL’s hat transitioning into King’s crown, then last week the soda was a highlight so what does she do this time? Pulls out two cans from under the ring and goes psycho with them. Her shoving the staff off the barricade and then giving him a wedgie was just icing on the cake to be honest, and I cannot get over how amazing Alicia is handling this role. It’s so random and so beautiful and I don’t want to imagine a wrestling world without it.

If I had one complaint though, I kind of wish they wouldn’t play up the whole “Crazy” aspect because it feels kind of AJ Lee-ish. Part of what worked so well in her first meltdown was that it was just kind of “Wtf” to the announcers and she didn’t even really snap, it was more of a bipolar type thing where she ended the segment happy and nobody knew what was going on. She’s still doing that part, but I don’t want to see her semi-snap if anyone calls her crazy like in the backstage fallout video. That feels done before and it’s the one thing detracting from what an outstanding, different angle this is for a Diva to take on. Sure the meltdowns have been done before, but how amazing is it that Alicia’s aren’t because of a man dumping her? It’s because she’s pissed off about being mistreated for so long, she wants to be the Divas Champion, and she’s finally got a chance on a big stage to do it. Progress!

The Good:

Summer Rae vs. Eva Marie – To be honest, Eva Marie looked pretty darn solid out there this week. I’m not going to sit here and say what she did was this amazing masterpiece, but she makes me happy to watch on TV and she is always refreshing to me. They played to her strengths well this week by keeping the match fairly short and basic, and in turn, it allowed her to do pretty well. What I will credit her on though, is how much more fluid she looked in comparison to her other matches. Keeping things short plays no part in that, that’s all her and I couldn’t be happier to see it. She was able to keep up with Summer, which I was worried about with this being a live singles match and all, so I’m at least hoping it means she is getting over her (what I honestly feel is just) stage fright. Putting Nikki with her can only help her confidence grow since Nikki has been doing this for years, and the ending worked to advance Summer and Layla’s feud perfectly. I do have one complaint, but it’ll be addressed later on. As a whole, this had all the makings of being a mess and it was far from it. Good job!

Stephanie McMahon – There’s not much to say about Stephanie this week other than she was her usual Stephanie self. The first segment wasn’t my favorite, but she totally redeemed it with the in ring promo against Daniel. I can’t wait to see what happens between she and Brie, but I’m hoping for some confrontation come Payback. It has been weird seeing Brie basically left to the side as of late, but I’m hoping the payoff is definitely worth it.

The Somewhat Good:

Alicia Fox vs. Emma – As a whole, this match had some good parts to it like Alicia’s killer boot outside. I just couldn’t really get into it because I feel like between NXT and Main Event, I’ve already seen it and they were most likely going to be better versions of it since Raw has to be rushed through with a tired crowd present. There wasn’t really anything remotely horrible to me, but I’m not sure how I feel about Emma going over. On one hand I like it because I love Emma and I want to see her keep her name out there, but on the other… Alicia is getting a title shot this Sunday so to have her lose (regardless of what it lead to) is kind of strange, especially when it’s to someone who isn’t even in the title picture at all. I think her meltdown still could have worked if she beat Emma, with her taunting the fans that she isn’t a loser because she just got a victory to prove it. Regardless though, like I said above, when I don’t particularly like a match on Raw, the Alicia Fox meltdowns make the segment seem like the best thing in the world as a whole so I can’t be mad.

Lana & The Rosebuds – This weeks fell into those “Lana and the Rosebuds did their thing and that’s fine” scenarios for me. I have nothing to say really since nothing new tended to progress between either, but they got their stuff in and that was that. It was nice to see Becky Lynch back in the posse because she’s wonderful, and Lana continues to make this pairing come off like a huge deal which I can’t appreciate enough.

The Not-So Good:

Total Diva Dispositions – So yeah, the one thing I really didn’t like tonight was the weird confusion during the whole Summer/Eva match. Summer Rae came off like a heel. Eva Marie came off like a heel. Layla came off like a heel. Then Nikki Bella was a face. It was so strange and left me not knowing what to think as I watched the match, but it sounded like the crowd was kind of into Eva at the start until she started blowing kisses and taunting them. Regardless though, I’ll still take this over babyface Total Divas vs. heel Divas and Kaitlyn anyday.

The Crowd – I’ve grown used to bad crowds 95% of the time but this was a whole new level of horrible from pretty much start to finish, therefore I feel the need to give them their own spot in this section. Bleh.

That’s it for this week! I promise to try and get myself back to normal next go around and pray you don’t all want my head on a stick for the lateness.

Peace!

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