Monday, August 2, 2021

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ECW Does WWE Superstars (September 10th, 2009)

superstars10sept09

The ECW Divas got a rare opportunity to wrestle last night on WWE Superstars, as Nikki Bella of the Bella Twins [in case you didn’t know] took on Katie Lea of the Burchill siblings, in a rehash of the extremely one-sided feud from this past summer. You can’t really even call it a feud because if it were, Katie would at least get the upperhand once — hence the ‘one-sided’ feud. The Bellas win all the matches in rinse & repeat fashion. Watch below:

Without even watching the match, you would know exactly what happened and thus, it doesn’t even bear reviewing. You know those horror movie rules in ‘Scream’? Well here are the rules for ECW Divas matches:

A) If Katie Lea is in the match, she is most definitely going to lose.
B) If either Brie or Nikki have a singles match, they are most definitely going to switch places for the finish.
C) The fans will be bored to effin’ death & won’t give a flying fudge because they’ve seen it all before.

Pretty much sums up this entire match, no? Rinse, repeat, bore.

It doesn’t help matters that the Bella Twins are awful in the ring and their ring gear is so ~f**king distracting~ I guess I should be over it by now, but seriously all the red is puke-inducing. Please Bellas, switch it up. A little bit of black — even if it is just your boots — would make it less nauseating. I really, honestly do feel nauseated when I see them. The ruffled arm bands, the boot covers, the flower in the hair… too much going on, DNW.

As for the match, you’ve seen it all before. It wasn’t as terrible as Brie vs Katie, it seems Nikki got all the wrestling competency in this duo. She’s comfortable in the ring & has good athleticism. She does start out with an awkward looking monkey flip, but then does a Gail Kim-like jump through the ropes when Katie comes charging at her. She then follows this through with a nice looking sunset flip.

Katie now takes control of the match, grounding Nikki while Brie screams on the outside [you can stop now]. She uses some cool chokehold using her leg on the ropes, before doing a similar move that we saw once before in the corner. Fast forward a little bit… Nikki begins to mount a comeback but Katie hits a nice samoan drop on her, not something we see everyday from the Divas.

Blah blah, skip to the finish and Brie switches with Katie and wins with a crossbody. Katie must be really weak if Nikki can kick out of a samoan drop, but she’s put away with a crossbody. That’s WWE for you! I feel like we should rework that “hos over bros” saying, “models over wrestlers.”

In all, this match was the equivalent of a first class ticket to Yawnsville. Though I am thankful it was Nikki and not Brie in the match.

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