Hello Knockout fans, and welcome to this week’s Write-Up. It’s not going to be jam-packed, because it obviously makes total sense to not feature a Knockouts match on the “go home” show before Bound For Glory, right? It also makes perfect sense that the Knockouts champion, who will be defending her title this Sunday, made no appearance. Logic. TNA is severely lacking in it. Anyway, on with the write-up…
We kick things off with Dixie Carter heading to the ring. She’s accompanied by some security, one of whom is carrying a brief case. (By the way, Dixie’s music sounds like a Disney show opening…). She compares herself to Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel, saying masterpieces take time. Of course, Michelangelo wasn’t dealing with a redneck AJ Styles in the meantime, splattering paint all over his masterpiece. She recaps what happened between Bully Ray and AJ at the end of last week’s Impact.
As a leader, Dixie says, it’s her job to motivate and, apparently, she does motivation reeeeeeally well (she says as she shakes her butt). The crowd is chanting for Hogan, but Dixie doesn’t really care because she’s got a big thing planned for tonight. A contract signing for Bound For Glory. She wonders what might happen if AJ didn’t make it to the signing, and if someone else might step up to impress her. I’m going to go off on a bit of a tangent, and I know that Dixie is not a professional on screen personality. But her promos need a lot of work. They’re long, wordy and it takes her faaaar too long to get to the point of her sentences. But I suppose it works in favour of her heel persona, because people are booing her for that if nothing else!
She promises that there’s someone who’s not going to repeat AJ’s stupid mistake from last week; walking away from a whole lot of money. Dixie says that creating opportunities and making people rich is what she does best. Really, Dixie? Really? You keep telling yourself that…
So there’s a fifty thousand dollar bounty on AJ’s head. Here comes Bully Ray, and he’s got Brooke by his side. This segment effectively ends to start another one between Bully and Magnus. Before that, though, Magnus voices his displeasure over Dixie’s decision to put a bounty on AJ.
‘It’s no wonder everyone’s saying Dixie sucks.’
(Sidenote: I really enjoy Magnus’s voice. His body isn’t so bad either…)
Dixie cannot believe he just said that.
We get a quick recap of Lei’D Tapa’s domination from last week and the week before. It’s followed by a quick hype of the triple threat coming this Sunday, where ODB will defend her title against Brooke and Gail Kim.
We’re taken backstage to where Brooke is taking selfies. Gail interrupts, telling her she looks fabulous. Brooke replies with a very smug ‘oh girl, I know’. Loved that. Gail needs to talk to Brooke about this Sunday, and something very important. Namely, Lei’D Tapa. Brooke has no intention of following through on Gail’s plans to work together if Lei’D Tapa shows up to ‘destroy them’. Brooke only makes promises to one person, and Gail looks ‘a little ratchet’ compared to him. Oooooh.
Our next glimpse of a Knockout is Velvet Sky, who is accompanying her man Chris Sabin for his match against Samoa Joe. Chris plants one on Velvet on the ramp, and she follows him to the ring looking a little shell shocked. The beginning of Samoa Joe’s music sounds like something you’d hear in a cartoon when a villain appears.
During the match, after Samoa Joe has him beaten down in the corner, Chris Sabin escapes the ring and makes a beeline for Velvet. They hug on the outside, and a little later Chris grabs Velvet’s hand and pulls her away from ringside, saying ‘Screw this’. Apparently he’s not interested in getting his ass kicked. Samoa Joe heads after them and Chris uses Velvet as a shield. Samoa Joe is reluctant to put his hands on a lady. Good bloke. Chris uses the distraction to DDT his opponent on the ramp. Sabin taps out later on, losing the match, but Velvet is there to comfort him. What happens next is reminiscent of those ten diva tag matches. Basically, everyone shows up to use their finisher and there are bodies everywhere.
Brooke heads to accompany Bully Ray in his match against Magnus. Bully hands her the title and she heads down to ringside to watch her man in action. Bully Ray wins in less than honourable circumstances and hightails it out of there with his lady love!
To finish out the evening, Dixie and Brooke are both in the ring for the contract signing. Bully and AJ get down to business. AJ looks a bit like a hobo with that hair. Brooke is wearing Bully’s hat, which I can only assume is soaking with set given how red and worked up Bully gets. Gross… Anyway, things break down (shocking) and AJ lays out Bully with the briefcase. He then proceeds to throw the contents of the brief case (paper, basically) at Dixie and her heavies. Well done AJ, that’ll do some real damage. Dixie gets on her knees and scrapes up the cash as Impact comes to a close.
Well… not a banner show in terms of the Knockouts. No KO champ on the go home show before the biggest TNA pay per view of the year. No actual Knockouts match to hype the triple threat, or anything else. Basically, the knockouts were relegated to arm candy this week. I’m not so mad about Velvet Sky, because she’s in a storyline with her man, in that he keeps using her as protection and surely that’s got to come to a head and go somewhere for Velvet. We can hope. I’m more mad about Brooke being arm candy this week. Aside from a tiny backstage segment, where she didn’t even seem that interested in Sunday, we got nothing to say that Brooke – arguably the most powerful knockout in the company because of her connections with Bully (after Dixie, of course) – is going for gold this Sunday. Yes, she said she’s going to be the next Knockouts champion, but it was very flippant and I want more passion from her.
All in all, not a good showing for the ladies. It’s one thing for them to make an appearance, but it’s another to give them time to develop and connect with us. All I’m asking for is some direction. And where was Lei’D Tapa?
Until Monday, when I will hope to recap a bloody amazing match. Eleri out!