There’s no doubt that Maria looks amazing in her new photoshoot, “Nice Sequins”. Her body is in excellent shape, and while one may think wearing just a bra would look incredibly trashy, I think the sparkly detailing on it makes it look more “Victoria Secret fashion show” and less “JC Penny catalog”. The bottom half, with studded leather pants and black leather boots, paired with the leather glove, make her look more biker chick than she was probably going for, but altogether it’s not bad at all. However, I have no idea what inspired her to chop up a gorilla suit and make a jacket out of it – it’s bizarre, and not in a good way. But despite that, Maria looks really, really good. Still, I fear that Earth will spin out of orbit and fly into the sun before Maria stops making MySpace lips. It.Does.Not.Look.Sexy.