Tuesday, September 28, 2021

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NXT Watch (March 14th, 2012): BateMax & Curtsine Are a Thing of the Past, But Will a Game of Tag Be Enough for KaitMan to Last?

Welcome all you jolly saints to another tremendous edition of your NXT watch!~ Last week on the shining star of WWE programming, we discovered that tonight would pit Maxine and Johnny Curtis against Kaitlyn and Derrick Bateman, but what we did not prepare for was a beautiful backstage segment, some post-match drama, and the brief return of the one, the only, Agnes J. Bateman! I can hardly contain myself from all of this so instead of blubbering on and on, I’ll just wrap it up right now and proceed to head into tonight’s star studded action from NXT!

We head backstage to find Maxine seated on a couch as she picks up a framed portrait of who I believe is Ronald Reagan and tosses it to the side! She instead puts a photo of Queen Elizabeth with a beautiful lime green bow on it and tries to get up to leave before running chest first into Kaitlyn! Maxine grunts in anger, as Kaitlyn informs the Queen of Mean that she was just playing tag with Derrick. Maxine tries to shrug off their fun time, as Kaitlyn proclaims how great it is getting to have a good time today because SOMEONE — not naming names — canceled her flight reservation and she almost missed it again. This seems like a case only a private investigator (played by FCW’s own Briley Pierce) could solve.

Kaitlyn asks Maxine if she would know anything about it, to which the Queen claims that perhaps she would… Oh dear. Kaitlyn gets it on like Donkey Kong and threatens to knock the stupid look off Maxine’s face until she is interrupted by Sweet Meat! He informs Kaitlyn to save it for tonight’s mixed tag, as Maxine dubs her a “violent one”. Suddenly, Dirty Curty pops onto the scene and wonders if all four of them could get “into it” right here, right now! Maxine, Bateman and Kaitlyn express their horror, until he reassures them that he meant in regards to the match! Dirty minds.

Maxine wonders where Dirty Curtis has been, which sparks him to give her a reply that he’s simply been in his office. She rolls her eyes and just plays along to save her own royal breath, telling everyone to just get ready for tonight because of the fact that she’s rested up and ready to go. Maxine heads off and I let out a slight cry of horror for Kaitlyn whose two toned hair is being sniffed by that rotten scoundrel, Dirty Curty! Maxine returns to the scene and drags her partner off by the ear, leaving Derrick to ask Kaitlyn if she’s alright. As soon as the former NXT winner responds with a yes, he tells her to not mind Maxine simply because she’s from Michigan (large boo!). Kaitlyn proceeds to slap Derrick on the head and proclaim, “Tag…you’re it!” She runs off as Sweet Meat claims he likes that and we head to a break!

L-L-L-L-Let’s go out to the ring for the glorious grand entrance of the team dubbed ’round the world as “KaitMan”, Derrick Bateman and Kaitlyn! The two then pose on the stage before skipping down the ramp. As Kaitlyn slides into the ring, Derrick runs over to… to… THE woman I would crown “NXT Divas Champion” if a title ever existed (sorry, Maxine and Kaitlyn) Mrs. Agnes J. Bateman! He embraces her with a hug before sliding into the ring as the surprisingly addicting tune of Dirty Curty hits. The mini tron does some sort of spaz attack as it skips from Derrick Bateman to Curt Hawkins until finally landing on Dirty Curty, while both he and the she-devil of the night, Maxine hop down the entrance ramp.

Dirty Curty tries to grab hold of her hand, but she throws his greasy palm off as we discover that Derrick Bateman was raised by nuns! The bell sounds as we get started with the ladies tonight, with Kaitlyn taking Maxine down with a few drop toe holds. Maxine beckons for Kaitlyn to get off of her, proceeding to slap Derrick in the face before being shoved off. The two Divas have to be held back (okay, more like Maxine has to be as Kaitlyn hilariously imitates her tantrum in the opposing corner) as we head to a commercial break.

Once we return, Derrick is going to town on Dirty Curty with some punches. He sends him into the corner and goes for a kick butt running knee, only Curty uses his slimy self to slither out of the way and Sweet Meat hurts his knee right in front of Agnes. Curtis targets the now injured knee as Kaitlyn tries to cheer Derrick on by channeling her inner Kelly Kelly… only to receive a “Shut up, Kaitlyn” from Maxine. Johnny bodyslams Derrick and amazingly poses over him in an act of dirtiness that forces Kaitlyn to turn away and nearly vomit in disgust.

He cockily walks over towards her, allowing Derrick to get a quick roll up for only a two. Both men get to their feet, but Dirty Curty takes Bateman down with a clothesline for good measure. After a near fall, Johnny continues to target the injured leg in a nifty, yet sickening submission. Bateman finally manages to get out and hobble on one leg, taking Curtis down with an enziguiri! Dirty Curty tries to make a nasty move on Kaitlyn, but she slaps him in the face to our approval and spins him right around into the Mantastic DDT for the victory!

Maxine looks on in disgust, as Kaitlyn and Derrick celebrate in the ring. Once heading out, Kaitlyn and Derrick walk over to Lord Agnes and proceed to embrace her with hugs at ringside! It seems that our ultimate ruler of NXT has taken more of a liking to Kaitlyn than she did towards Maxine upon threatening to “take… her… down” earlier in the season. The team of KaitMan head up the entrance ramp, while inside the ring we catch Maxine berating Dirty Curty like the snake he is. Back to the actions of KaitMan, Derrick proceeds to beckon for Kaitlyn to come give papa a hug! Oh my, so much for being friends… but if Mrs. Agnes Bateman approves then so do we all!

Kaitlyn charges forth and leaps onto Sweet Meat, while he takes to the microphone and explains to Maxine how it’s no secret that they’re officially over because she’s crazy. He dubs her as being free from him, citing that she can do anything she wants to do whether it be Dirty Curty, or even William Regal. Derrick concludes by saying that he’s done playing games with Maxine, before turning his attention to Kaitlyn and saying, “Tag, you’re it!” With that, he dips the NXT winner and gives her a huge kiss on the lips! Maxine looks on in disgust, as the newly formed “KaitMan” celebrates their newfound relationship and I question if Lord Agnes laughed in Queen Maxine’s face after the show concluded.

Thoughts: I loooooooove this show. Seriously, there’s no other way for me to describe how much I could watch this one hour over any other because they combine everything with wrestling I love. From the mixed tag pairings, photos of Queen Elizabeth, random backstage segments, all the way to the fact they actually get characters that I can invest in, and don’t forget about Lord Agnes making her grand return; it’s the perfect wrestling show and everyone involved does such a great job and I can’t give them enough praise. For every “When is NXT going to end”, I trump it by asking them to actually watch the show and not judge from the goofy challenges that once took place. I bet if more people knew the treasure chest the yellow roped show has become, they would cease the negative comments and enjoy it as the shining star of WWE.

Now that that’s out of the way, the backstage segment was ridiculously fun as always. I’ve said it before, but this is why I love NXT. You can give me a 10 second match for all I care, just give me my dang weekly backstage segments! I love that Maxine removed the photo of (who I think was) Ronald Reagan to replace it with one of Queen Elizabeth since she is always talking about being a woman in power and it fits her character so well. (Bonus points for the lime green bow since it’s the best color known to man.) Plus, I don’t think it’s said enough but Johnny Curtis plays “Dirty Curty” so well. Like, I don’t know what sparked him to take this persona on, but it’s the best decision I could ever imagine as nobody could do it better. When Maxine walked out and he was caught sniffing Kaitlyn’s hair, I almost lost it. Backstage segments are the best thing about NXT (you know, along with everything else that graces the program) and I thrive on my weekly fix of their misadventures!

The match was what it was. I personally don’t view NXT to see five star matches, and yes, the women didn’t really get that much time to shine in the ring, but meh. They still got to be a part of an aftermath angle, and in the long run, I would suffice 30 additional seconds of ring time for this tremendous formation of KaitMan. I thought Curtis and Bateman did a great job in the ring, though, and I loved the spot where Dirty Curty creepily posed over Derrick to make Kaitlyn want to gag. I must say that I’m in shock how fast KaitMan formed, but acting on things quick is the best since we get to still learn more about the character. I say bring on the KaitMan!

Overall, the show was another great week and I can’t wait to see what comes next in the tale of weddings, make-ups, break-ups, interventions, and new love! I feel like there’s not much else they can do to surprise us at this point, but one thing I’ve always learned is never doubt the powers that be who control NXT.

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