Tuesday, September 21, 2021

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Raw Redux (December 12th, 2011): Well, At Least We Got Lita!

I can honestly say that this will NOT be a Slammy Award worthy edition of the Raw Redux, but if Zack Ryder can win a Slammy for simply trending on Twitter (that was so not scripted, right??), then anything is possible. Alas, I’m not going to hold my breath and coincidentally, there’s really not a whole lot to talk about. We always knew there wouldn’t be, so there shouldn’t be any disappointment in anyone today. That said, I fully expect a barrage of negative comments and whiny moans over the fact Kelly Kelly won ‘Divalicious Moment of the Year.’ I’ve prepared myself, reminded myself that we all have the right of freedom of speech, and now I’m ready to get on with the show.

If only I could shake the visions of Christian from my head. Swoon!

Firstly, let me just say that Lita looks absolutely fabulous. She’s in great shape and still has a body to starve die for. I wouldn’t exactly call myself her biggest fan (except for when she got to have a live sex show with Edge, and then fandom was born from jealously and the need to wear my baggy skater pants low on my hips once again just to show off my thong…), but it was really great to see her last night. Obviously she was presenting the aforementioned ‘Divalicious Moment of the Year’, and the nominees were as follows…

* Beth Phoenix taking Eve Torres down and out with that most amazing Glam Slam from the top rope.
* Kelly pinning Brie Bella to win her first ever Divas Championship.
* Natalya placing Eve and Layla in a double Sharpshooter.
* And perhaps the most talked about Diva moment of the year, the debut of Kharma, or just anything involving her.

Lita announces Kelly as the winner, and the bubbly blond comes out looking absolutely fabulous. Love her dress, and well I just love Kelly. All you haters can just piss off. Anyway, fangirl aside, Kelly goes to accept her award and start her speech, but Beth and Natalya are quick to interrupt. Clearly, Beth feels as if she should have won (and since the award was for ‘moment’ of the year, and not for ‘Diva of the Year’, she has a pretty legit argument), and she snatches the award from Kelly’s hands. When Beth raises the Slammy in the air, Kelly takes exception and slaps her foe right across the face. She seriously slaps the heck out of Beth, like whoa. Beth is absolutely stunned, as well as Natalya, and Kelly takes her little gold statuette back. Beth has to be restrained by her bestie, and Kelly takes the chance to pose with Lita and give the crowd a nice photo-op.

Perhaps a teaser for a future match?

I definitely wouldn’t mind a Beth versus Lita match, or even a tag match. Any match with Lita involved would do it for me at this point. The Divas could only benefit from her presence, and she definitely looks like she would have no trouble getting back inside that right. As of right now, there’s nothing announced for the Divas at TLC (I think…), but we have SmackDown taping tonight. It will be interesting to see what goes on there, seeing as how they completely axed a huge angle that happened last week. Personally, I never thought it was a good idea to turn Kaitlyn heel. She has to way to much chemistry with AJ, and breaking them up would be a huge miscarriage of justice. I love the Chickbusters , and I know a lot of other people do as well.

In other Slammy news, Vickie Guerrero managed her main man and mine, Dolph Ziggler, to a win in a very impressive fatal four-way match that determined who would win a Slammy for the first superstar to trend on Twitter. To be fair, Ziggler and Ryder both trended at the same time, but since Ryder was higher I reckon he won by default. At least he lost, and Dolph won. And Rhodes and DB never once trended. Oh well. Dolph stole Zack’s Slammy, and proved once again why he is the most delicious heel ever.

Brie and Nikki presented an award, alongside Santino Marella.

He called them out on their Alberto Del Rio obsession and both girls got highly insulted. Both looked beautiful in red, which seems to be one of their trademark colors, and well, they were on TV. I’ll take it.

Eve and Alicia Fox were stage escorts for the evening. Eve’s dress was so fetch (Mean Girls reference), but Alicia continues to disappoint me when it comes to fashion. I do like the fact she took a risk for the Slammys, but I wasn’t exactly fond of it. The glam pants outfit just wasn’t my cup of tea.

Vickie also took to the stage to present an award alongside Goldust for ‘A-Lister of the Year’.

Goldust cracked a mean joke at our favorite cougar, but we won’t give him too much heat for it. He is the Golden One, after all. The nominees for ‘A-Lister of the Year’ were Hugh Jackman for managing Ryder to win over Ziggler, and I guess for punching my boo in the face. Snooki for competing at WrestleMania and shocking the world with the ‘Snooki Splash’. Random Cee-Lo Green for performing at (uhhh, which PPV was that again? Meh, I’ll just make something up…) for his sequined preacher’s robe. And last, but not least, The Muppets for hosting the Halloween edition of Raw. Snooki snatched up the prize, but couldn’t attend the show. She did, however, send a pre-taped message to the WWE Universe.

I’m not happy with her Zack Ryder support.

That was basically it, folks. It was a night of glitz, of glam, the best of Johnny Ace video package, of Christian’s return, and Masked Kane. The Divas were always going to be an after thought, but at least we got a sweet little teaser of what 2012 could possibly hold. I’ll take it. And because I’m Khaleesi, all of you will as well. Good day!

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