Monday, September 27, 2021

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Raw Redux (January 2nd, 2012): On the Second Day of 2012, a Force Brings Upon Us Divas Galore and Actual Entrances!

Greetings potentially new audience who has no idea that I ever existed at Diva Dirt, it is I, Bobby, here to take over Khaleesi Cryssi’s Redux this week. Thankfully, it was a week where the Divas segments of Raw weren’t too shabby and I was able to watch with a smile on my face as Brie and Nikki Bella took on the team of Kelly Kelly and Eve. If you’re curious as to the reason I was smiling, why it’s because everyone got — brace yourselves — an actual ENTRANCE! Yes, clearly a gift from the heavens above for the New Year, but don’t get too comfortable just yet as we all know it won’t last.

In other news, we had some brilliant backstage segments with the Bellas, Eve, and Vickie Guerrero, who also managed the Khal to Cryssi’s Khaleesi (Game of Thrones reference score for me), Dolph Ziggler in a WWE Championship match!

Now without any further ado, let’s kick off the first Raw Redux of 2012 with things that make Cryssi happy: Bella Twins and Khaleesi approved ring gear!

As we become informed that we can look, but can’t touch, out pops Brie and Nikki B (sorry, I have that Super Bass video stuck in my head right now) looking killer in their black catsuits. The duo shake and shimmy down the entrance ramp which nearly gives Jerry Lawler palpitations. They then flip inside the ring and taunt the fans, as suddenly it’s time to “holla, holla, holla”, and the crowd does just that as out comes Eve and Kelly Kelly. The two looks top notch in some awesome new orange/gold type gear. (I’m not the best with clothes, but per contract negotiations with Cryssi, I must acknowledge this.) They walk down the ramp and into the ring, as the fans continue to go wild for the two. From there, the bell sounds and we get underway!

Brie and Kelly start things off, as our Bella applies a waist lock to Kelly and smacks her off. This does nothing but anger the feisty K2, who in turn, smacks Brie across the face and on the booty! Kelly shoves Brie into the corner and proceeds to slam her head off the turnbuckle padding until she falls coincidentally in place for a good ol’ fashioned ‘raise the roof’ stink face! Kelly then signals for her trademark bulldog, but this Bella Twin has been hit with it so much that she has prepared herself! Brie proceed to lean back and shoves Kelly down by the blond locks. She drags the former Divas Champion to her corner and makes the tag in to Nikki, as the twins proceed to hit a fancy double team maneuver to Kelly. Nikki makes the cover, but only garners a two count.

Nikki shows off the personality that I know and love by screaming out, “Huh, you like that little girl?!” She applies a submission hold, albeit brief, as Kelly manages to counter it into a nice jawbreaker. K2 tries to slide over for the tag, as Nikki goes for a clothesline to stop her. Kelly, like Brie’s earlier bulldog counter, has studied her opponents well and ducks the clothesline to get the tag in to Eve Torres! Eve runs in with a clothesline of her own, followed up with one of the, what I believe are, best dropkicks in wrestling. She then kicks Nikki in the face and runs off the ropes with a sit down clothesline. With Nikki down, Eve pumps up the booty and pops for the crowd in attendance. I begin to fear whats to come because Nikki is not in the right place for a moonsault, but thankfully, the savior that is Brie Bella distracts Eve and prevents possible injury!

Eve sets her sight on Brie, as she charges forward and dropkicks her off the ring apron. This allows Nikki to regain composure and attack Eve from behind. She sends Torres into the corner, but Eve hits a beautiful kick off the ropes and starts to climb. We all know what’s coming… Can it be? YES! The Torresault connects. One.. two… thr… wait a second! Brie Bella just charges on in and breaks up what would have been a mirror end to most all of their other tag bouts together. Props to you Brie for this rapid improvement on stopping Kelly and Eve’s signature moves! Kelly Kelly runs in and gives me memories of her brilliant segment on NXT Season 3 (come on, you know I had to sneak in an NXT mention somewhere) as she screams out, “Are you freaking kidding me right now?!” Ultimately, this gives the Bellas enough time to pull out Twin Magic, as Brie rolls up Eve for the shocking victory! The twins celebrate their momentous win, as Kelly and Eve plot their next move of revenge!~

Now let me take you on a ride back in time to before the match we just recapped had yet to happen. Brie and Nikki Bella are seen sporting their ring gear backstage with The Miz, as they argue about whether or not the recent issues between Miz and R-Truth are the fault of well, Miz or R-Truth. The Miz interrupts them and asks if they’ve seen Truth, to which they proclaim they haven’t. Brie then adds that they did see Little Jimmy though (I laughed), which brings chuckles from the devious duo. This fool then tells the Bellas he’s glad Alberto Del Rio got hurt, which makes their jaws drop as he makes his way over to find R-Truth.

Again, this segment is back in time before the match took place, but after the Bellas segment with Miz did. Eve Torres is seen speaking to her recent fling, Zack Ryder, as he informs her that he watched their victory last week on loop. Eve admits that’s rather sweet, although kind of weird. Suddenly, Jack Swagger interrupts the two fan favorites, as Zack asks him how it’s going. Jack tells him there’s an impostor walking around with the U.S. Title, which ultimately fools Ryder into thinking someone swiped his belt (despite it being on his waist right that second). Our philanthropist, Eve, informs Zack of what he actually means, as Swagger calls him a dork. Ryder claims that just because both he and Swagger’s names end in “E-R” doesn’t mean that he isn’t going to send him to the ER!~

As Eve and Zack briefly fist bump each other, Jack says he will take Zack’s title and his girlfriend. (Just because I stand up for all that is right, I must inform you that Eve and Zack are not quite there yet.) Suddenly, the garbage that I refuse to name anything but Laryngitis walks into the scene and informs us of his unfortunate job title. He decides to book a six man elimination tag. This greatly excites me as I begin to think some midcard talents will be used! The GM then names the teams as Swagger, Mark Henry and Kane against Ryder, Big Show and John Cena. Welp, there went my joyous hope.

After a brief recap of last week’s monumental occurrence where Dolph Ziggler pinned WWE Champion, C.M. Punk, we are taken backstage to Josh Mathews as he stands by with the challenger in tonight’s title bout, Dolph himself! As I sense Cryssi’s Ziggler senses going off at the mere thought of his name being typed, the camera pans out to reveal Dolph (brilliantly) doing a headstand! He flips over as Vickie Guerrero enters the mix and Josh asks him if there’s any way he can become the new WWE Champion after the controversial finish last week. Dolph says that last week he pinned the WWE Champion just as easily as doing the headstand we witnessed. He adds that he believes if you got it, flaunt it, and nobody flaunts it better than he does every single night. (Insert Khaleesi Cryssi approval here.)

Dolph begins to explain how our country is in debt, and our kids are out of shape. He adds that they can’t read and test scores are brought down below Japan by states like Tennessee! He dubs himself a walking surplus of talent, athleticism, charisma…you name it he’s got it! Dolph continues on that everything he’s ever wanted, he’s got… except the WWE Championship. He tells everyone to hang on to their ticket stubs because they are going to want to know where they were the moment Dolph Ziggler became the new WWE Champion. With that, he and Vickie head out to the ring as Josh Mathews is left with a history lesson courtesy of Professor Ziggler!~

And, since Vickie Guerrero is present throughout, be sure to watch Dolph’s Championship bout against C.M. Punk below:

Thoughts: What a way to ring in the new year! I thought the match was better than usual for Raw standards, although I must admit I’m still in shock that everyone got an entrance. Somewhere, you know that backstage Eve, Kelly, and the Bellas were thanking all that is right in the world they went on before Chris Jericho hammed it up for 10 minutes. I loved that it was different than all their other tags though, like I felt like all of the Bellas vs. Kelly and Eve bouts have been the same formula with the Bellas doing submissions until Eve and Kelly fight back with their signature moves, so it was very refreshing to see something different. I don’t really mind what some may nitpick about the ending, it still worked and that’s good enough for me. Overall, I enjoyed the tag bout and thought all four ladies did stellar together.

The backstage segments were pretty fun as well. The Bella Twins shine on the microphone to me, and putting them in segments to continue their Alberto Del Rio stuff is what I want. I thought they looked great beside him and Ricardo last week, so as long as its occasionally brought up while Del Rio is out with injury, I’m fine with it because that way fans don’t forget about it. Eve also seems to shine in her segments with Zack Ryder. I loved the WWE.com one, and thought this was great as well. They seem to mesh off one another easily and she really seems to be coming into her own with both ring work and personality as of late. Kudos to Eve indeed! The Vickie/Dolph segment was beyond words brilliant. I like that Dolph shows off in both actions and words, because hell if I knew all that information he was spouting out. He taught me more than school ever did! Anyways, to sum this up, I thought the diva related portions of Raw were great for raw standards. I hope to see this trend continue (and please, give us entrances more often) .

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