Tuesday, September 28, 2021

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Raw Redux (May 14th, 2012): Layla and Her Earrings Send Beth a Message Not to Underestimate Them

There are two reasons this live blog is getting started late. Number one, Khaleesi was screaming at her dog. Number two, Khaleesi was cussing the plebeians on her Twitter timeline who were making fun of her Doritos Taco. Doritos made into tacos are amazing. Those of you who don’t like them clearly have no taste, therefore your opinion does not matter to me, your resident Khaleesi. Now with that out of the way, let’s get started. Your Khaleesi was conspicuous by her absence last week, and she does not apologize for that. None of you deserve to read my glorious words each and every week. Sweet Bobby graciously did his duty and filled in, and despite the fact he could never truly fill my stilettos, he did the best he possibly could with what little he had to work with.

As of late, Raw has been nothing more than a bitter disappointment. I find myself weeping on Monday nights that I have to miss Dancing With the Stars in order to recap the dismal Diva action that takes place on my television. That’s absolutely not directed at the efforts of the Divas themselves; they do the absolute best they can with what little they are given, but what they’re given just isn’t enough for me. It really isn’t enough when I could be spending my nights decked out in feathers, glitter, and spray tan and scheming up ways to become a celebrity so I can do the rumba with Tristian McManus (or Maks, or Val, or Derek, or Mark… NOT PICKY ABC. SO NOT PICKY). I’m afraid the closest I’ll ever come to my Dancing With the Stars dreams is by living vicariously through Naomi and Cameron. Le sigh.

The Funkdactyls looked pretty incredible last night. You see, I’m being confusing because this blog was supposed to be live. The majority of it was, but now it’s early morning and I’m adding in all the other stuff that I didn’t do last night. Just follow along and it will be alright.

But enough with that. According to Twitter, Alicia Fox is in the ring. Thanks Mr. V from WrestleView!

We’re still at commercial break but I’m ready for Alicia to be on TV. There she is! It’s been a minute since I’ve seen Alicia and it looks like she’s facing The Glamazon, Beth Phoenix, tonight. There’s also going to be a Divas match at Over The Limit when Beth will get her rematch for the title against Layla.

Anyway, the Divas lock up with Alicia dodging some early offense from Beth. It doesn’t take Beth long to take charge, though. That brings Layla to ramp to scout her opponent and she looks pretty fabulous in those sequined booty shorts. I approve, Layla. I totally approve. Beth scoops Alicia up, holds her high in the air while facing Layla, and drops her down to the mat. After that, Alicia eats a Glam Slam, and that’s Beth’s message to Layla.

Or not.

Beth goes back for more on Alicia after the match is over and that brings Layla rushing the ring. Beth disposes of Alicia and turns to meet Layla. Our feisty champion, with her sequined booty shorts and big big earrings makes Beth eat a face plant! Awesome!

Holy crap! Did we just get some match build? Did Layla get to attack someone? Did someone hit me over the head with a mirrorball trophy??

I didn’t hate that segment at all. It was a good step in the right direction. Good job WWE. I can honestly say that I momentarily stopped day dreaming of hot male ballroom dancing hands caressing my body. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

As far as the rest of this Redux goes, well, it will be continued tomorrow. If there’s anything worth recapping that is. I kinda just want to end it on this peppy little note. Until tomorrow…

Hey, it’s tomorrow! There was a fun little surprise at the end of Raw last night. It was a backstage segment featuring the WWE Champion, CM Punk, and everyone’s favorite ex-girlfriend, AJ.

That was pretty incredible. AJ does absolutely nothing wrong and this unstable ex-girlfriend gimmick is pretty fantastic. I’m not entirely sure what she wanted to accomplish by wishing CM Punk good luck, but he was hilarious when he said that he didn’t want to get involved. The look AJ had on her face as the champ walked away made me wonder if she has some kind of plan for SmackDown or for Sunday. I hope she does because AJ is gold right now. They’re doing all the right things with her and I, as well everyone else, absolutely love it.

Overall, Raw was decent this week. For all my bitching at the beginning I turned out to be pleasantly surprised for the Divas. Like always, I wish for more but take what I can get because it’s better than nothing. Pay-per-view matches are usually pretty kind to the Divas and I’m excited to see what Layla and Beth can put together. Beth brings out the best in everyone she works with and Layla, before her injury, was improving leaps and bounds with every single match and promo. Given time I have no doubt that these two ladies will deliver and in a big way. Good night and I’m left with a great feeling for Sunday. Yay.

Until next time… Khaleesi out!

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