Saturday, September 25, 2021

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Raw Redux (November 21st, 2011): Bam! Bam! It Is What It Is, But What’s Next?

Once upon, in a land far away, two Divas stood backstage, viciously playing the new WWE ’12 video game. Kelly Kelly, clad in designer jeans, jerked and yanked at her controller, while she played herself on said video game. Alicia Fox stood at her side, direwolf absent from the top of her head. She was playing as Beth Phoenix, but not faring so well. With every enthusiastic ‘bam, bam’ Alicia as Beth continued to go down. The game paused as the champ and Natalya arrived on the scene. They plugged the game, bragged about beating everyone, not really mentioning Eve. That was it, it was all said and done. Beth and Natalya took their leave. Alicia and Kelly went back to their game…

That was it. It truly was. I was shocked, but not for the reason you’d think. Let’s be honest, last night’s Raw was about two people, the newly crowned WWE Champion, CM Punk, and the delicious United States Champion, Dolph Ziggler. The match they put on last night was simply spectacular, and something all of us need to feel fortunate that we got to see it on free TV. And honestly, having seen it, nothing else really mattered to me last night. That’s why the Divas appearing in a commercial for the new WWE ’12 game didn’t bother me. I actually kind of liked it. Kelly was adorable and both Beth and Natalya fared way better this time. They have a right to brag after Survivor Series. They put Eve out, even if it’s just temporarily, and now they get to move on to whatever challenge awaits them next. Sometimes a pointless backstage segment is a hell of a lot better than a stupid, 48-second BS match. Survivor Series pretty much spoke for itself. Eve took one hellacious bump and it was the right thing to keep her off television. It was also the right thing to just halt the storyline for the time being and leave us all to ponder where DoD and Kelly/Alicia go from here. Should Survivor Series hadn’t gone down the way it had, and had Ziggler/Punk not given us one orgasm of a match, then perhaps Raw could have been different. But alas, what’s happened has been written in stone. And we can’t go back.

But what should happen next?

We have a lot of Divas, but not very many will be pushed. That’s just how it is in Diva-Land. The most obvious scenario in my opinion is that Alicia will get the next crack at DoD. Beth has taken care of Kelly and Eve, so it’s natural that the third member of the model trio gets the next shot. I’m not for or against this, but I think the possibility of an Alicia/Beth match is amazing. We’ve not really seen Foxy in a proper match in quite some time, and with the Divas actually getting time on pay-per-views, I’d be very interested in seeing it. Foxy is underrated as a competitor and Beth has the ability to bring her opponents to a whole nother level. Her matches with Kelly and Eve, two people who are constantly criticized for their so-called lack of skills, were nothing short of amazing. And that’s a testament to Kelly and Eve, as well as Beth. Alicia can only benefit from working with Beth in a couple of lengthy matches. These girls should benefit from working with Natalya as well, but the WWE has seemingly forgotten how to use their third generation Diva. It’s really unfortunate.

Should Alicia not get the rub, then perhaps AJ and Kaitlyn can step up. I refuse to believe the ‘E would do something as stupid as try and split up the Chickbusters, but if it comes to that, then it better be one damn elaborate plan concocted by AJ and Kaitlyn, to throw everyone else off their game. They can have this pretend feud which spills over to DoD when AJ randomly wins a title shot at whatever the December PPV is. Kaitlyn could seemingly help on the AJ beatdowns and make her presence felt in said title match. Botched interference could lead to this shocking victory for AJ, and she could look at Kaitlyn with a smile on her face. Kaitlyn smiles back, they embrace, and hold up AJ’s newly won title, having pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes. I will throw myself at Uncle Truth in Miami — should he not be suspended — if that scenario actually happens (sorry Saint Tyler Black), but it’s not likely. It would be so much fun to watch though.

Whether it’s Alicia or AJ, or maybe Eve or Kelly again, the fact of the matter is, the ‘E needs to add a little spice to DoD. They shouldn’t just be getting pay-per-view victories, and AJ and Kaitlyn don’t need to be the only Divas they can collectively beat as a team. Whoever gets the next shot and whatever direction the ‘E decides to go in, I truly hope they do everyone involved justice and let them have a proper storyline. That said, let’s have a moment of real talk. I think we can all agree that no matter what happens next, the end result of all of this needs to be Beth vs Natalya at WrestleMania. There’s a reason they’ve never faced each other and I like to believe it’s so they can face each other on the grandest stage of them all…

Goosebumps.

And speaking of goosebumps, as well as other immediate reactions, the aforementioned Punk/Ziggler clash is worthy of a spot right here in my Redux. I realize this is not Diva-Dirt-and-Dolph.com (can it please be, Melanie?) but Vickie Guerrero, our favorite manager, got involved. So yes, I’m using that as an excuse to pimp this match to the masses who may not have seen it last night or may want to watch it again. If this were ESPN, it would be an instant classic.

Enjoy my friends. Until next week… Cryssi out!

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