Thursday, December 5, 2024

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A Supersized Unwrapped: Eye Candy for Weeks of March 29th & April 5th, 2010

Welcome to this week’s edition of Unwrapped! As always, we will be grading all of the new photoshoots (or “eye candy”, as we like to call them) from the week gone by, judging them like so:

Sweet (Great)Bland (Iffy)Sour (Awful)

You, the reader, will also get the chance to grade the “eye candy” yourself by giving your opinion on each shoot and voting for your favorite out of the whole bunch. Now, dive in!

Angelina Love‘s Twisted Steel
Grade: Sour. Angelina Love, in her trademark trashy ring attire here posing backstage at the Impact Zone. I like this bright blue but seriously, Angelina’s ring attire is far too complicated and perplexing for anything to stand out. I mean just look at the top — you have blue, then you have animal print and then you have a black sequined boob tube. Good lord. The backgrounds in these shots provides an interesting contrast but honestly, it just looks odd and not nearly as abstract as it should.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Chelsea‘s Could It Be Magic?
Grade: Sour. Poor Bellas, always stuck with the lame outfits to placate that week’s Raw guest host. This photoshoot is hilariously silly with Brie and Nikki in PVC magician’s assistant outfits. I don’t know about you but these just look like bondage outfits to me with hats and wands thrown in. Very PG!
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Read more to see the rest of this week’s photoshoots.

Chelsea‘s Inner Animal
Grade: Sweet. TNA newcomer, Chelsea is looking pretty stylish in this outfit. I’m not usually an animal print fan but I think it works here with the contrast of the black top. I particularly like the bangles pushed up her arm, providing some simple yet effective accessorizing and also the detailing around the bottom of the top. The poses are fairly simple but I think it works.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Gail Kim‘s Sleek & Sexy
Grade: Sweet. Here is Gail looking really laid back, simple but super stylish. I love the simplicity of this outfit but everything fits together and comes together beautifully. The black tank, the ruched skirt and the high waisted belt are all great together. The red shoes add a little colour to the outfit too. Her hair and earrings also sell this one. Gail seems more confident in her posing with her selling the outfit rather than trying to be overtly sexy too.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Kelly KellyDay & Night
Grade: Bland. This is a very interesting outfit and it could be edgy if it weren’t for Kelly’s boring poses. The top with a somewhat transluscent back is quite sexy and revealing but not too much. I think even without much colour, this dress just pops and looks great but it needs to be sold by the girl wearing it which Kelly just doesn’t do. She just looks like a pretty girl in an edgy outfit that she just can’t do justice because she doesn’t have the personality to pull it off — her eyes are deadpan, her poses are cliched. This could have been a great photoshoot but I don’t see much personality from Kelly.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Maryse‘s No Frills
Grade: Bland. What immediately strikes me about this photoshoot is just how unflattering this dress is on Maryse. The flowers or whatever they are around the chest just look like frills that you’d find on an old lady’s blouse. Maryse’s boobs don’t look magnificent here; they just look huge and protruding and I don’t think Maryse is wearing a bra, they just look like they’re hanging out and not perfectly in place. You can show your off your bust in a sexy, tasteful way but this just looks like she has two rocks sitting on her chest weighing her down. I like Maryse’s poses but most of these facial expressions are unflattering and I definitely see some Photoshopping on her face.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Michelle McCool‘s Rock Siren
Grade: Sweet. Michelle McCool really can pull most looks off and I love it when she experiments. This photoshoot is edgy, fierce and captivating. Not many can pull off a dress like that, in fact most wouldn’t even attempt it but here is Michelle daringly pulling it off. It may resemble a black bin bag but damnit, Michelle is working it. If the dress didn’t stand out on it’s own enough, Michelle has paired this with some killer wedges with a criss-cross design and a funky leather bracelet. The dark and mysterious setting provides the perfect backdrop for this shoot too.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Miss Tessmacher‘s Porn Parody
Grade: Sour. New TNA Knockout, Miss Tessmacher is supposed to be Eric Bischoff’s new assistant and plays into every cliche possible about the slutty secretary. This really does look like one of those office pornos where the girl is in a super trashy secretary outfit and then takes it all off and undoes her bun with a slow-mo of her shaking her hair out. Not sexy at all.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Tiffany‘s Jersey Snore
Grade: Bland. Tiffany looks like she’s doing a parody of her own — of MTV’s Jersey Shore. You can just picture her going to the beach with her big Snooki hair. Unfortunately, Tiffany’s photoshoot is not nearly as exciting as the drama on Jersey Shore, hence the name of this photoshoot. Tiffany is pretty much standing around, smiling and showing off her body. It’s an impressive one, I’ll give her that but this photoshoot just looks paegant-y.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Tiffany‘s Wrestler Barbie
Grade: Bland. If there were ever to be a ‘Wrestler Barbie’, this is how I envision her being dressed — except with a pink top instead of purple. We all know that Tiffany has been quite impressive in the ring of late but this attire is just dreadful. The poses are pretty much the same as the shoot above — standing around and smiling. Not much variety here.
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Vickie Guerrero‘s Excuse Me
Grade: Bland. Poor Vickie. This was only put up as an April Fool’s Day joke even though The Bella Twins look effin’ ridiculous in their photoshoot. I guess slim and slender trumps all~ Nonetheless, you can’t really expect great posing and outfits from Vickie so I definitely wasn’t expecting anything less than what we got. I do give her credit for the bedazzled jacket though!
Click to see the rest of the photoshoot.

Be sure to grade each photoshoot, vote for your favorite below, and tell us what you think in the comments!

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