Hola/Greetings/Salutations to all, and welcome to this weeks Impact Write Up. Never in my life did I think I’d be writing a recap involving Jessie from Big Brother, but it is common in wrestling to hear the phrase, “never say never”, and it looks as if I should’ve said that from the start because tonight he’s up against ODB during the monthly Open Fight Night. In addition to that, we also get a few short backstage segments between the two, as well as Jessie’s gal pal, Knockouts Champion, Tara! Without any further ado, let’s begin.
First we head backstage to see Jessie on the phone with someone claiming he has an ear infection due to ODB. Tara looks anxious to hear what the person has to say about that, but she then begins to reassure him of their dominance as Hollywood’s Greatest Couple. The reason behind that? “They wouldn’t put it on a shirt if it wasn’t true!” She tries to give him some help due to her experience facing ODB, as the two then form lovey dovey type faces at one another. Jessie then lets out an “I…I…” Love you? Want to be with you? Want to marry you? Nope. He wants Tara to sterilize him! She hands him some hand sanitizer and sadly states that she thought he wanted to discuss children because she was thinking about adoption! (If this duo doesn’t end with an on screen child played by the woman in the crowd formerly known as Gail Kim‘s sister, Katie Kim, I give up on this world.) Jessie lathers up and says that he’s ready, which brings the two in for a kiss.
Backstage, we spot ODB on the phone asking where the hell Eric is as this message is going to voicemail. She claims she will beat Jessie’s ass all around the Impact zone and she needs him here. Not only that, but he better bring the fried chicken! (Side note: If Eric continues to no show, I’m stopping at my local KFC/Popeyes and then driving to Orlando to fuel ODB up on this chicken she desperately craves. No one should have to ask for it this much to no results.)
We head to the ring as ODB makes her way to the ring and I notice some new commentator. She (ODB, not the commentator) slaps her ass a little, you know, perfectly normal stuff. She grabs a microphone and calls out that eyebrow tweezing, chest waxing, overrated six pack abs, working out seven days a week, protein shaker drinker, egg white beater eater, eating every three hours, fake tanning, Tara’s little boy toy (with a small battery!), Hollywood TMZ wannabe, Big Brother reject… (deep breath) Jessie! She demands he get his Big Brother ass out here to come meet his big sisters, which I’m assuming are ODB’s breasts by the way she latched onto them and immediately projected my laughter for the brilliance.
Out comes Tara and Jessie, looking a bit ready to go and a bit nervous (on Jessie’s part). He removes the shirt, leaving me wondering how we’re supposed to know they are Hollywood’s greatest couple now? Before I can answer that question, Tara kisses him and he slides into the ring. Jessie goes right after ODB, but somehow ODB saw him flying towards and ducked. The bell sounds as she goes to fire on him with chops. He slides outside the ring for Tara to kiss his chest to make it better while the crowd chants for ODB and he gets back in the ring. She continues to dominate the match, but he stops her from Irish whipping him into a corner. For this, ODB decides to stop the attempt and chop him in the chest. She climbs to the second rope for some punches, but Jessie throws her down and…
…taunts the crowd while also planting Tara with a kiss. He goes for an elbow drop, but ODB rolls out of the way and goes after them. Tara and Jessie both crawls into the ring, but she catches Jessie and Tara rolls out. ODB with a faceplant type maneuver, as she kicks him in the face and nails the dirty dozen! She looks to complete it with the Thesz Press, but Jessie dodges out of the way. He tries to kiss Tara again, as Taryn Terrell screams at them and Jessie proceeds to bodyslam ODB to the canvas. They try to make out, but ODB then bodyslams him! She begins to spank him, as Tara hops onto the ring apron and tries to slap ODB. With that, ODB grabs onto Tara, distracting her long enough for Jessie to roll her up for the win. Hollywood’s greatest couple celebrates together, as we see a replay and ODB looks pissed. (Can someone get this woman a chicken leg?)
Thoughts: I enjoyed tonight’s stuff for what it was worth! It wasn’t going to be a 5 star match or anything because I think Spike TV has that rule about man on woman violence? (Not sure if it’s still in play), but I thought it was fun and at least had a story going on with Jessie always running to Tara for moral support and ODB basically saying screw you both as she kept taking the fight to him. I would love to see Tara and Jessie really try to mess with ODB’s head in the upcoming weeks since I’m assuming this is leading to a Tara/ODB match at the next pay per view. Kind of like taunt her about Eric constantly no showing and not being there to support her even though they are Tag Team Champions (unless we’re supposed to forget those titles exist, which I’m honestly starting to believe). Yes, the feud between them has a large comedy feel to it due to the over the top antics of Tara and Jessie, as well as ODB’s nature to be humorous, but that doesn’t mean it can’t get a little personal maybe in the last episode of Impact before their face off. I’m enjoying it as of late, and while like always, I still wish we could get more than 2-4 women appearing, it’s a great positive to finally have storylines, backstage segments every episode, and a champion that’s appearing on TV every week. Progress!