Saturday, September 24, 2022

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Raw Redux (May 13th, 2013): Summer Fakes an Injury & AJ Almost Gives Natalya a Real One

Hello everyone! I don’t know about y’all, but I literally rushed home from work last night on the off chance they decided to kick off Raw with the dance off! Thank goodness my intuition was right! The ring had been turned into a ballroom dance floor and I literally felt like weeping for joy. But seriously, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me grab my feathered boa, ballroom shoes, ridiculous bangle bracelets, and outrageously colored Jive costume and start from the beginning.

Excuse me, one minute.

Alright. Extensions in, spray tan on, bright pink lipstick… check! I think we’re ready for the very first ever Dancing With the Stars inspired Raw Redux!

To be honest, this storyline is everything to me and I can’t even complain about the lack of Sasha Zamolodchikova on my television. She’s getting her place in the dance world back, mark my words. With Sasha, our original Fandangirl gone, that meant the return of the blond one, Miss Summer “Don’t Judge Me By My Dancing” Rae. When I first heard that she would be the one competing against Chris Jericho and former DWTS pro, Edyta Sliwinska, I laughed. I really did. I laughed my sequined clad butt off. So many thoughts ran through my head. Is Summer Rae being punished? Did they bring her back for one night only because Sasha demanded a pay raise for competition like performances? Why would they want to humiliate one of their best Divas like this?

I couldn’t even begin to fathom why they would go this route, to be honest. But like always, I got ahead of myself. The devilishly handsome Fandango had a rather treacherous plan, and that blasted Summer Rae was in on it! Summer took a tumble during the dance off (after stumbling trying to strike a simple pose might I add) and grabbed her ankle. Fandango, used to perfection, really let her have it. Edyta and Chris rushed to Summer’s aid, and that allowed Fandango to attack his opponent from behind.

FANDANGO EVEN USED A PIECE OF THE DANCE FLOOR IN SAID ATTACK!

I’m not even going to lie, I marked a little. This feud had absolutely no right being as entertaining as it has been, and Fandango actually using a piece of the floor to beat Jericho just did it for me. Summer Rae faking her injury was just the icing on the cake, and I reckon she’s now secure in her position as Lady Fandango. I do like Summer as a heel, and if they limited her dancing, and amp up her character, I’ll accept her in this position.

But seriously, this is one of the few matches at Extreme Rules that I’m looking forward too. I shipped it hard at ‘Mania, and as long as it doesn’t air during my beloved Game of Thrones, I’ll be all over this come Sunday. I see Summer screwing up something for Fandango and Jericho getting the win, which should end this feud for good. Can’t wait to see how it plays out.

In addition to the dance off, we had a chance to watch Natalya and AJ Lee in action! Kaitlyn as well as Brie and Nikki Bella were at ringside providing snippets of commentary. Nattie’s friends, Khali and Hornswoggle, were also around.

To be honest, the cluster-eff on commentary really, really distracted me from the match, and I can’t really tell you much about what I watched. Kaitlyn got another secret admirer gift, and for the most part, ignored the catty comments from the Bellas. I’m going to automatically assume the match was good, given who’s in it, but really, I can’t pass judgement. I do think it’s a shame that AJ won via submission. A submission wrestler like Natalya isn’t exactly someone I picture tapping out a whole lot, but it is what it is. AJ got a much needed clean victory over a former champion, that’s just what she needs going into her match with Kaitlyn.

Whenever that might be.

That about it does for the Redux today. A personal emergency has made me cut it sort. Take care. Until next time… Cryssi out!

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