Knock knock. Who’s there? Eleri. Eleri who? Eleri, the returning Impact writer, of course!
What’s up, cats? I’M BAAAAACK. After a lengthy six(?) months off, dealing with some issues and figuring out my life, I’m back to catch you all up on this month’s edition of TNA Pay-Per-View. I’m very thankful to the wonderful and oh-so talented Chris for taking my place these past few months and doing such a stand up job. He’s wonderful. We’re one big, happy, mushy, loving Diva Dirt family, just so y’all know!
Slammiversary has been hailed a success by many (on Twitter, that is) but I haven’t seen it so I’ve yet to decide how I feel about it. As for my expectations; I want Taryn Terrell back. I was thoroughly enjoying her rivalry with Gail Kim before she had to take time off to have her gorgeous little baby girl, and I think bringing her back as part of the Beautiful People would do wonders for her and TBP. They need a gimmick overhaul. Plus it’d be nice to see Taryn play a heel – I think she’s certainly got the fire to pull it off, and hopefully she’ll get the chance. #bringbacktaryn
Moving swiftly forward, before I wind up going on and on about what the Knockouts could be as opposed to what they are, last night saw Angelina Love put her title on the line against the newly crowned number one contender, Gail Kim. I mean… obviously we’ve seen it before, but we’ve seen a lot of things before. Friends never gets old, does it? Although there is a substantial difference between the quality of the two shows…
In other news, Dixie Carter almost went through a table. But didn’t.
Let’s get to it then.
Things kick off first of all with Angelina Love backstage, being interviewed. Velvet Sky, as always, is also on hand. Angelina would like to know why Gail likes to say she’s the best Knockout of all time, when Angelina is in fact the most decorated champion in the Knockouts division. (She’s only counting the KO title obviously, otherwise Mickie James would march in and tell her to sit the F down.)
It stands to reason, though. JB asks how many times Angelina has won the title without Velvet’s help, and the Beautiful People take offence immediately. They then hold a math class, reminding JB that two is better than one, and then head out to the ring.
Gail is out first – introduced by Christy Hemme – and she appears to be channeling Aksana with that outfit. Not personally a fan – I prefer the one strap myself. Gail’s all smiles as she heads into the ring, and she looks ready to go. Angelina follows, Velvet’s at ringside, and we get right into it.
Angelina goes for a high kick early on but Gail dodges and hits a leg sweep. She pulls the champ up by her hair and they lock up, before Gail drags her down again. Angelina runs the ropes and Gail gets down low. I’m not sure if Angelina tripped on purpose or by accident there, but either way it had the same effect. Gail hits a stiff running forearm for a count of two.
Gail goes for another pin as Angelina bridges out, only to be knocked down again by the challenger. Gail goes high risk next, putting a lot on the line. She tries a hurricanrana but gets thrown down by Angelina, who gets a two count for her efforts.
Angelina’s in control, working Gail over and throwing her around like a rag doll. She plays to the crowd a little bit but takes too long about it. Gail fights out of the corner and tries to lock in her submission, but Angelina drops her with a side slam for another two count. Angelina tosses Gail out to ringside, where Velvet happens to be waiting. The other half of the Beautiful People stands over Gail and takes some trash. Gail manages to outwit her and make her eat her words, but not for long as Angelina’s back on the offensive.
Gail gets back in it when she throws Angelina headlong over the steel steps. Ouch. Fair play. Nice bump.
Back in the ring, Gail heads up to the top rope for the second time and is unsuccessful once again as Angelina interferes. The champ then drags Gail down by the head and hit what I think was supposed to be an inverted bulldog, but either she went too far from the corner or Gail wasn’t ready to move. Whatever happened, Angelina goes for another pin but Gail kicks out.
When Gail scrambles to her feet, Velvet sprays her in the face with hairspray and the referee just lets it happen. Angelina hits a
Brogue Kick kick right to the face. She pins Gail a few seconds later, but still only gets a two count.
Earl Hebner arrives on the scene and ejects both Velvet Sky and the crooked referee from the the ring. Back between the ropes, with Angelina distracted, Gail’s had time to recover and comes out swinging. She keeps Angelina out of sorts with a series of clotheslines, a drop kick and a neck breaker and it all earns her a two count. The champ’s not out yet.
A flying crossbody later and Gail still can’t put the champion away. She sets up Angelina in the corner but Angeline counters it into a powerbomb. She goes for the pin, feet on the ropes, but the new referee realizes what she’s doing before he gets to three. Gail lines up a drop kick in the corner but Angelina gets out of harms way.
Meanwhile, Gail lays the referee out. The other referee, who apparently is named Stiffler (what a name!) is back at ringside and tending to Earl when Gail hits the Eat Defeat. Nobody counts. Gail tries to get Earl up and rolls Angelina up, but still nothing!
Angelina rolls through, hits the pin, grabs the tights and Stiffler counts.
That match had some great spots. Angelina going over the steps was nice, and brought a nice physicality to it. Gail’s Eat Defeat was beautiful! Let’s be honest here – Angelina barely escaped tonight. BARELY!
I feel like it would have been better if Taryn had returned as the newest Beautiful Person.
Now, as previously mentioned, Dixie Carter almost went through a table but didn’t. Rushing to the aid of her nephew, EC3, Dixie accidentally got herself KO’d. Bully Ray was hoping to have his way, but Rockstar Spud came to the rescue of his boss lady and pulled her out of harms way, before the falling body of Bully Ray could crush her. Let’s be honest once again. He would crush her.
All in all, not a bad showing for the Knockouts. Angelina and Gail put on a solid match, and Dixie has her presence felt. Would have been hardcore if she actually had gone through the table though, right?
It’s great to be back! I hope you won’t miss Chris too much and accept me back into the fold with open arms. Until Thursday!
(P.S. What the hell is Willow? Go home Jeff, you’re drunk.)