Thursday, September 21, 2023

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Slammiversary in Review: Look Who’s Laughing Now

Oh buddy. We knew this was coming but were we really prepared for it? It did kind of come out of nowhere and I honestly thought it would be Morticia going for the title but it’s not. It is her creation, the blonde monster, going after the champion. She’s a former five time Knockouts Champion and has done more than her fair share of dominating the female division in Impact Wrestling. I am very curious to see what happens when two people, from opposite sides of the tracks, clash together. The suspense is killing me. So let’s hit play on this bad boy!

We start things off backstage where Jeremy Borash is standing with Winter and Angelina Love. JB states that Winter is about to lead Angelina into battle against the champion. Winter, creepy as ever, tells JB that he is standing too close to her minion and she doesn’t like it. So she pushes him back a few steps and tells Angelina that now that they are together, truly together, they are one step closer to their final destiny. When Angelina, looking like she’s finally crossed back over to the land of the living, takes that championship then they will be one step closer. She’s ready now. Winter knows she is ready now, but first, she must take her medicine. However, like a spoiled child, Angelina refuses the medication and tells her mistress that she doesn’t need it anymore. It took her awhile but she gets it now, they’re on the same page. Then she simply walks away, while Winter looks like she’s won the lottery. I want Angelina’s outfit. How hot is that?! And I do apologize for lack of video on the backstage segment. Blame bad quality but hey, the match is the important part.

Out to the stage first is the challenger, Angelina Love with Winter in tow. They stop to gaze around the arena and caress each other in whatever awkward, adoring way they do. Quick to make her way to the ring, Angelina creeps in and in something we haven’t seen in some time, goes to the corner. She stands up and holds up six fingers to show that she is going for her sixth Knockouts Championship. A record for the company, according to commentary. HARDCORE COUNTRY! The champion, Mickie James is out last and she doesn’t look as happy as she normally would. I suppose being choked out this past Thursday could put a damper on a good mood. I do have to ask..what the hell is with that hair, Mick? True to your style, I suppose but yeah, no.

The match begins, after a lingering look at the special time keeper and finally, the ladies circle each other. A rough lock up and Angelina comes out with the upperhand, tossing Mickie around the ring like a ragdoll. But Mickie is never one to back down and she comes back with a hair grab of her own, but Angelina just overpowers her like she’s nothing. For a minute there, I swear I thought we were going into a ghetto girl fight. Google them. Hilarious. So many earrings wasted. Anyway, Angelina wrenches the arm of the champion and drops a leg across it, looking to jack up Mickie’s elbow. She goes back to work real quick and Mickie manages to get a cartwheel in but Angelina just drives her into the corner. Leading into the kick/punch combination and finally, the senior official calls her out on it.

Insert awkward evil glare here.

It causes just enough of a distraction that when Angelina comes back in, Mickie jumps up and wraps her legs around Angelina’s throat. A headscissors takedown and Mickie may have shifted momentum, but those evil eyes to Winter almost brought back old school psycho memories. Angelina moves in quick, landing a suplex and going for a pin but it’s no good. A rebound into the ropes and Angelina goes for a clothesline but a baseball slide from Mickie leads to a flip over. The defending champion looks to be going for that rebound low dropkick, blowing a kiss to Winter before she hits the ropes. But Winter grabs her, dropping her like a sack of potatoes on the outside floor. Um…ouch. See what happens when you taunt people on the outside? Tsk tsk.

Angelina drops to the outside but out of sheer desperation, Mickie sends her flying into the steel steps. Winter looks to almost be having a panic attack as her…whatever the hell she is now, writhes on the floor in pain. Meanwhile, Mickie manages to roll back into the ring while the referee continues to count. Winter helps Angelina up, rolling her back into the ring which stops the count completely. It almost looks like we’re getting a little bit of old Angelina back as the two contenders crawl toward each other, laying fists to the face. They work their way up until Angelina lands a big knee to Mickie’s midsection, tossing her into the corner but Mickie comes back, dropping her challenger with a rushing clothesline.

Deep breath!

Winter is on the outside, slapping her hands against the canvas but Mickie is battling back now, laying it on thick with the fight back. The crowd is behind her as she goes up to the top, landing a nice Thesz Press to Angelina. She urges the blonde to get up but Winter grabs Mickie’s foot, however, she’s smart and is able to dodge the charge attempt from Angelina. A swinging back kick to Angelina’s face and Mickie goes for the pin, but before the referee could get a good count, Winter puts her minion’s foot on the ropes. Talk about getting all dramatic with the show. Winter, you should know better than that. With experience such as yours? Shame on you.


Out of nowhere, as soon as Mickie turns around and this leads Angelina into the cover. But Mickie puts her hand on the ropes and again, Winter is blatantly interfering. While Earl Hebner is distracted with Winter, Angelina starts laying the fists to Mickie James. He pulls her off of the champion and gets in her face, telling her to do what he tells her but she comes right back at him. It looked like she was going to bite his head off ala Ozzy Osbourne. Yowza. I’m pretty sure she even dropped the MF’er on him. Haha. But Mickie comes back, looking to go for the DDT but Winter is up on the apron, only to get nailed with a stiff shot to the floor.

Another exchange and Angelina grabs her but Mickie manages to execute a swift northern lights suplex. A bridge pin but Angelina kicks out after two. Into the corner they go, do-si-do and Mickie charge only to get rolled up. I swear, I have never been more tired of counting to just two in my life. Even with the leverage from Winter on the outside, it wasn’t enough. But Mickie comes back, sets Angelina up for the DDT and….what the hell?! SERIOUSLY?! Did you just botch the hell out of your own finishing move?! As many times as you’ve….ugh. Anyway, Mickie goes for the pin and somehow, it was enough to put the monster down. She claims the three count and wins the match, retaining her Knockouts Championship.

She starts to celebrate, though I’m not all that sure why. But Winter is in the ring and she goes after her, taking off that wide leather belt and just starts beating the hell out of Mickie with it. I believe one of my favorite people on the planet would say, “Beating her like a government mule!”. The bell is sounded multiple times, in a lame attempt to break up the beatdown but Winter is choking the air out of her. Hebner manages to get Winter off her back but Angelina, awakened from her dazed botched DDTness, snatches up the belt and goes in for the kill. A blatant choke with a knee to Mickie’s back but it doesn’t last long. The senior official is acting like the Cat Daddy of the ring and chases them away, but not before Winter can secure her belt. With evil glares and mischievious smirks, Winter and Angelina retreat to the back while Hebner checks on Mickie.

Thoughts: Well, it certainly wasn’t what I thought it would be but I can’t say it was absolutely horrible. It is odd to see Angelina coming out not looking like a creature of the living dead. No dark circle. She actually looked fresh faced and rejuvenated. It was a very awkward match, I do have to say. I expected a lot more, technical wise but it is what it is. That major blow botch at the end just kinda ruined it for me. I don’t even wanna know what that was but I’m glad they didn’t just end it there. I’m so happy they choked the hell out of her in the end. Teach her to botch again. Also, honorable mention to Christy Hemme for finally wearing a dress with no belt. Haha. Until Impact, my lovies! xoxo

Rating: 3/5

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